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Post by fritzmaitland on Dec 18, 2021 19:48:00 GMT
Not having Dem's self-control, I had to head straight for Vol 7 for Simon J. Ballard's story The Weasels Take Reading Station. The editor had promoted this with the slogan 'The Ballard Of Reading Station' and the cover of a certain Frank Zappa album. It's a belter, easily homaging some of those classic 70s pulp paperbacks, even throwing a bit of 50s sf into the mix to my eyes. The only criticism I have is the ending flies up too fast, is over too quickly (although it's pin-sharp accurate) and is based around a dreadful, dreadful pun. Oh, and calling a character 'Cliff Davenport' is almost too cheeky.
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Post by fritzmaitland on Dec 23, 2021 8:50:19 GMT
Christopher Tighe - Cruel Garden. Possibly named from a Stranglers' b-side. Former top horticultural broadcaster Chelsea Hawkweed is plummeting in the ratings. Her agent tells her to pull her finger out and come up with a new gardening gimmick or he's off to pastures new. Chelsea also has a problem with something coming in through her late pet's catflap during the night. She contacts a former collaborator to obtain some dubious fertiliser much praised in the Victorian era. This should boost her plants and get her back at the top of the gardening game! Oh dear. Written in a cheerily nasty style but chronologically fractured, which keeps you on your toes.
Jez Connolly - Neither. A psychologist at Carlisle University attends a convention in Leeds and, travelling home, decides to stop off for a hot lunch. He leaves the main road, and, travelling down some tiny lanes ends up in a small village. After a slightly unsettling encounter in the General Store, he makes his way to the local pub, where genial mein host Bernard Bernard and the lovely Doreen provide him with an unusual pint, and an unusual pie. And that's just the beginning.
Tony Earnshaw - Bloodlington Pier. A morose middle-aged man sits on the titular pier, fishing and mulling over his wasted life. If his existence isn't shit enough, three lads who can't hold their beer stagger up to harass him. Hang on! He's got a bite! Could be a big 'un...
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Post by fritzmaitland on Dec 24, 2021 9:08:39 GMT
Ken Shinn - Underground Resistance. A researcher has discovered certain innocuous creatures that live underground may be responsible for disasters affecting humans. A Polish mining cave-in has set him off on this tack, and it may not be looking good for humanity. Having amassed a pile of evidence, he's humming and hahing about sending it to the authorities or making it public, because he fears he may not be believed. A BBC News 24 stop press item about an apocalyptic cataclysm makes up his mind to make his findings known. But he's been researching in the cellar of a house on Ilkley Moor. You know, underground.
Chris Tighe - Seaside Special. The jovial 70s flavour of the story title (and some of the trappings) belie a seriously barking mad tale. A Scarborough detective is investigating an horrific children's massacre. The sole survivor claims the perpetrators were 'unicorns'. Judging by the evidence of impalement and nothing else to go on, who's to say she's wrong? Along with a doctor and a reporter, the copper begins to delve into these disturbing happenings and it's not long before there are more bloody murders, some awkward secrets from the past are revealed and the trio notice a strange character in a long mac and a flat cap in the background.
Richard A Halfhide - A Tiger In Dreamland. My favourite of last night's trilogy. Wallace, a musician, has hit the skids. He's heading to Dreamland in Margate whilst enfolded in his own laudanum-soaked dreamland. Whilst rumours of war abound, he arrives and heads for the zoological gardens, and the tiger. It's still there! A childhood memory. What's more, it remembers him, and begins to reminisce about it's upbringing in India, and how it became a man-eater. The ending ties everything up neatly, but I had hoped for something more opaque.
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iant
Crab On The Rampage
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Post by iant on Dec 26, 2021 21:42:50 GMT
'Ere Fritz, don't read my tales out of order, you perverse bugger!  |
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Post by dem on Dec 29, 2021 13:23:52 GMT
Important preliminaries;
Here we go.
Richard Freeman - The Gooseberry Wife: Isle of Wight during the Great War. Siegfried, a precocious 12 year old butterfly collector, believes himself destined to become the most famous entomologist in history. So when Augusta alerts him to a colony of jumbo sausage-size caterpillars lurking in a gooseberry patch o'er yonder valley it seems the big breakthrough has arrived ahead of schedule, although her being a soppy girl, she's probably making it all up. Pan horror vibes!
Nadia Mook - The Stockport Bedbug Massacre: The council's hare-brained scheme to deposit rancid mattresses across Stockport to "encourage wildlife to the town centre" sees the public come under attack from the plague of micro blood-sucking man-eaters. Laurence bravely pulls on his airtight boiler suit, takes up a Karcher steamer and advances through a rent office strewn with desiccated corpses to do battle with the biggest bedbug any one of us has ever seen ... In true The Rats tradition, story told in a series of increasingly grisly vignettes. Hero far more vulnerable than Herbert's patented anti-establishment action-art teachers.
Frazer Lee - So Much to See: Circus. This week only. So Much to See and the Kids Go Free! Single parent Hannah's crucial job interview coincides with the primary school's day trip to the Circus. Little Molly's on the spot text reports grow increasingly alarming ...
Sam Dawson - Ecocide: Activists break into a Surrey Public Health Research Centre to release the lab animals caged within. Pippa, an XR protester quite simply too nice to exist, takes a walk along the riverbank at the very worst time.
Four corkers in a row. BHF 7 already looking good for placing among 'Least worst of 2021' recommendations.
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Post by dem on Dec 30, 2021 12:22:52 GMT
The Kursal massacre; day of the suicide badger; Thankfully, not living in Yorkshire it doesn't apply; Earwig O, etc. Don't mind admitting, this book has really cheered me up. Samantha Jayne Crosby - Southend-on-Seals: A major incident at the seaside as a corpse washes up beside the pier. Later that same day, a lifeboat overturns, crew of six all lost. Little Mary assures her parents that the 'underwater dogs' are her friends and won't harm them. Of course, she can't say the same for anyone else ... Franklin Marsh - Brock's Revenge: ( Auld Franklin's Almanak of Doom, 2015). Omnivore protagonist launches kamikaze raid on the farmers who wiped out his community. Christopher Tighe - The Earwigs of Wigan Casino: Something lethal in the crop spray used at the Shevington Agricultural Unit breeds an army of Franken-super-earwigs who attack a packed Church Hall on Wigan Casino Memorial Night. Padma Chakravarti, currently dating the 'King of the Mods,' leads the combined might of Scooter lads (first and third generation), Soulboys, Rude boys, Ska revivalists and a pair of itinerant New Romantics into battle versus the brain-burrowing blighters. Jez Conolly - Neither: A social anthropologist driving North from Leeds, stops at a village inn for a pint and a snack. Unfortunately, he's chanced upon Knythe and it's solitary pub, The Grouse & Gudgeon, home to Bernard and Doreen Bernard and their obscenely affectionate charge — a bloated, slimy hybrid of the creepiest creepy crawlies. For Tourist information see Worst Pub Landlords. |
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iant
Crab On The Rampage
Posts: 60
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Post by iant on Dec 30, 2021 12:44:07 GMT
Oh wow, not read any of these yet, but Chris Tighe's tale is ticking so many of my pop cultural boxes!
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darrell
Crab On The Rampage
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Post by darrell on Dec 30, 2021 17:40:01 GMT
Oh wow, not read any of these yet, but Chris Tighe's tale is ticking so many of my pop cultural boxes! Ian, remember when I said there was one story here that you would wish you'd written? It's that one. And dem hasn't mentioned all of the Taylor-friendly content yet either... |
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iant
Crab On The Rampage
Posts: 60
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Post by iant on Dec 31, 2021 16:21:15 GMT
Yep, I remembered your comment immediately!
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Post by dem on Dec 31, 2021 17:04:55 GMT
No let up.
Paul Newman - Writhe!: A ravenous clump of deadly something emerges from the Thames Estuary at Barrow Deep. Newly-weds Julie and Tom ought to have known better than to indulge in alfresco sex in a 'when animals attack.' Now the squirming mass, "thicker and blacker than seaweed," pursues The Clarion's Ross Apted and Emma Webb up the steps of a derelict lighthouse ...
Simon J. Ballard - The Weasels take Reading Station: Furry mammals of genetically mutated variety escaped well-intentioned by mad eco-scientist's secret laboratory to — how to put this delicately? — consume human excrement wherever it might be found. You can work out yourself why this bodes ill for the miserable commuters dotted along platform 15 .... This time it's the turn of Eric and Kim to meet gory, agonising ends mid-frantic open air romp. A delightful disgusting tribute to GNS, such a shame he didn't live to read it (or, indeed entire book).
Tony Earnshaw - Bloodlington Pier: Supposedly 'mythological' monster leads vicious squid mob in attack on coastal resort during close season. Ray picks worst possible day to go fishing for congers.
Richard A. Halfhide - A Tiger in Dreamland: Change of mood. An impoverished musician in the throes of laudanum delirium jumps a train to Margate, it being imperative of a sudden to visit the zoological gardens. It was here, as a child, his fascination with a particular tiger. All these years later, the man-eater is still here. They've a lot of catching up to do.
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Post by dem on Jan 14, 2022 11:28:47 GMT
Christopher Tighe - Seaside Special: Southbay, Scarborough. Back in 1975, entirely spurious accusations of bestiality cost seaside donkey attendant Albert Shidwell his job, his home, his good name. Forty years later he returns with his loyal troops to take revenge on the community. Another strong favourite-of-book contender, and this despite opening line threatening "un*c*rn" involvement.
Ken Shinn - Underground Resistance: As the ground opens beneath him, Jim Peters fires off a last desperate email alerting mankind that lyrics to Yorkshire's 'national anthem' will soon require drastic rewrite.
Tim Hicks - Herons: An insufferably hot Covid summer sees the bird kingdom wage bloody war on the population of a West Midlands mining town.
Ian Taylor - Flash McGrath III: The Nature of the Beast: The agonizing death of a teenage drug runner stirs the long dormant conscience of the Devil's #1 recruitment officer. Sick to his damned soul, McGrath quits Hell. "No more. D'you hear? NO MORE!!! I'm leaving you animals behind. All of you! From the cattle and the sheep to the wolves." Satan, who finds this development amusing, leaves us in no doubt that Hell won't be quitting McGrath.
Ian Taylor - Flash McGrath IV: Plagues for Today: Carl McGrath's arrival in Brimblesham village coincides with an outbreak of homicidal mania among the local livestock, poultry and the odd faithful hound. McGrath's parting outburst at Satan has literally come back to haunt him (as does the wraith of the one girl he ever loved); the animals and insects have been possessed of those whose souls he damned for eternity. Series concludes on a cliffhanger with The Black Dog Inn under siege from Hell's menagerie, though we would not rule out a fifth episode.
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Post by dem on Jan 16, 2022 12:20:26 GMT
Stephen Lang - Kill-Kill Wood: Whimsical account of the 1978 chipmunk uprising in Cricklewood as witnessed by a disillusioned BBC video librarian (and his pushy mum). Brendan Chesterton believes the incident worthy of a Blue Peter feature, but that shows producers are keen to bury the story, even though their own daredevil presenter, John "I could've been killed" Noakes was among the bitten.
Ken Shinn - The Pernicious Plot of Professor Pelham: A Benjamin Fourmile mystery: Peregrine Pelham, mad genius and master of sonic telecommunication, lets loose an army of ravening lapdogs on Peterborough's Queensgate shopping centre. Can his old adversary, Dr. Fourmile, prevent the professor unleashing his killer pets on every major town and city beginning with the letter 'P'?
Jason D. Brawn - Seaside Massacre: The good people of Farage-on-Sea come under attack from giant woke crustaceans masquerading as everyday illegal immigrants. Very topical, this one.
Andrew Llewellyn - The Man Hares Wanted to Kill: The Black Bull Inn, Hertford, is besieged by murderous leverets bent on sinking fang and claw into Marcus Price, a particularly odious "entrepreneur" who's been peddling an untested fertiliser to local farmers. Poor Tara Hickman's spectacular boob job is caught in the conflict. Moments silence.
Entered dreaded 'running out of book' territory now ...
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iant
Crab On The Rampage
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Post by iant on Jan 16, 2022 16:28:03 GMT
Don't despair if you're running out of reading material here, Mr Bones! Andy Llewellyn and I have our short stories collaboration 'Spoken in Whispers' coming out in the first half of 2022, illustrated throughout by Selene Paxton Brooks.
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Post by samdawson on Jan 16, 2022 17:46:34 GMT
Don't despair if you're running out of reading material here, Mr Bones! Andy Llewellyn and I have our short stories collaboration 'Spoken in Whispers' coming out in the first half of 2022, illustrated throughout by Selene Paxton Brooks. We're looking forward to it! |
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Post by dem on Jan 17, 2022 11:29:09 GMT
Wayne Mook - The Seal of the Cabbage Whites: Fair to say I struggled with this one. The town elders have entered into a compact whereby they sacrifice children to prolong their own selfish lives? For purposes of current excuse for commentary, a billion-strong squadron of homicidal moths descend on a town in Greater Manchester. Might come back to it (have a couple to revisit in previous volume, too). In meantime, should anyone wish to set me right, please feel free. Andy Allard - The Cats Creep on Cleethorpes Beach: Protagonist devises slow, agonising death for wife's precious pussy cat. Things don't go to plan. The gleefully ghoulish stuff of the most satisfying EC comics. Simon J. Ballard - Like Summer Days: Not entirely sympathetic Acid 'n weed hipsters fall foul of fairie folk at a Bodwin caravan site - or so it seems. This latest tragedy follows hot on the heels of alleged 'Satanic murders' at the Camelford artists colony. Essentially, Marc Sonders' outrageous Blight relocated to NE Cornwall. Those crazy mixed-up young fools!
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