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Post by dem on Oct 21, 2020 8:15:52 GMT
Craig Herbertson - Christmas in the Workhouse & Other Gruesome Tales (Parallel Universe, Oct. 2020) Foreword
THE GHOST OF CHRISTMAS PAST
Jackdaw He Saw
The First and Second Horror
Christmas Eve in the Workhouse
The Pipes
Listen
The Iron Cross
All in the Game
THE GHOST OF CHRISTMAS PRESENT
Stocking Filler
Heart of Parkins
Merry Christmas Motorway Man
He loves Me Not
After I Kill Her
The Other House, The Other Voice
Layby
It Could Have Been Me
Mary
THE GHOST OF CHRISTMAS YET TO COME
Two Weeks
Last Mass
Soap 7
Clean
Maidenhead
Strange Fruit
Return Gift
THE GHOST OF CHRISTMAS IMPOSSIBLE
Perlitiarius
Afterthoughts Blurb: "The nights will have drawn in and, hopefully, you will be comfortable at home. I like disturbing that comfort for reasons I don't quite fully understand myself. It is a cathartic exercise perhaps, seeking out the most horrific scenario and then trying to make it even worse: Puzzles are almost always fun especially when they make you shudder and look over your shoulder. l could use the old French excuse that you can only understand good when you understand evil but, to be honest, maybe I just like being nasty."
Craig HerbertsonOrder: Am*z*n.ukAm*z*n.comParallel UniverseArrived yesterday afternoon. Regular Vault Advent Calendar watchers may recognise a few titles. It looks .... stunning! Commentary to follow ASAP Well done Craig, David and Chrissie!
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Post by Craig Herbertson on Oct 21, 2020 19:07:52 GMT
And let's not be modest here. A look at the contents will tell you that many stories were written only because of the vault calender. In fact, the vault for many years has been the last refuge of my writing and the only place I submitted anything to for many many years. So, a huge thanks is due to the dungeon master.
Also a massive thanks to David who has supported my writing throughout and taken the risk of publishing and coming up with the idea of using Chrissie's illustrations. That cover is top class.
Vaultofevil SINE QUA NON
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Post by dem on Oct 22, 2020 16:25:47 GMT
I'm so pleased to see the Christmas stories collected, Craig, and the book really is a thing of beauty. Bride of Dem is thrilled! Will make a start on it once I've read all of Kitchen Sink Gothic 2.
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Post by dem on Nov 3, 2020 17:52:56 GMT
Author's introduction. Vault's Mr. Christmas tells it like it is. "I don't do cheering ..."
Jackdaw He Saw: Song lyrics of an appropriately doom laden nature.
The First and Second Horror: A winter's night at the club warming one's bones beside the fire. Talk turns to Mr Dickens' new ghost story. Professor Beech insists that he alone among those present can define the meaning of horror. Captain Charlesworth, who despises Beech as a sadist and pervert, foolishly demands proof.
Christmas Eve in the Workhouse: Once again, Master Brindle has found the most trivial excuse to cancel the children's Christmas. Now the governor banquets while his charges, all aged between five and ten years old, toil through the 'holiday' on rations of nowt. The Good Book is clear on the subject. Spare the rod, spoil the child and that's excuse enough for Brindle to indulge his kink. But who dare's disturb him at this ungodly hour? Sebastian, workhouse old boy made good since his escape five years ago, has returned to pay Master the compliments of the season.
The Pipes: The Wapping workhouse - unfondly remembered locally as "The Orphanage" - is long gone, but the site retains its malign influence. We trace its vile history through a series of child abductions and mysterious disappearances from the Brindle years to the present day.
Listen: A Bellport High delegation of Cam, Mulholland (when he still had the two eyes) and Farantino explore the 'haunted' house by the school. There is some dispute as to whether the old place is empty. According to Danny Mulholland's mum, Dr. Figgs, the surgeon works nights there. Cam sneers the boy is only making that up because he's too scared to set foot inside. So there really is nothing else for it but to creep up that staircase ...
All in the Game: All his life Mr Bennett, insurance director, has endured the cruelest taunts on account of an unsightly skin condition. At least he can rely on the respect of his friend and weekly chess opponent, Charlie, the humble caretaker of Bellport High. No blood, no violence, and quite the most horrible story thus far.
TBC ...
It seems incomprehensible to me that stories of the calibre of Christmas Eve at the Workhouse and Its All In The Game for two should have premiered on a Vault calendar. They deserve so much better and, happily, this superb collection is it.
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Post by dem on Nov 4, 2020 18:30:59 GMT
Stocking Filler: The Christmas office party at Tiffany's, Edinburgh, lands John Talbot in the most desperate straits. Truth be told, the night doesn't work out so swell for Amber from the motor department, either. Have said this before and it remains true. The season really brings out the best in Mr. Herbertson.
Heart of Parkins: A merchant seaman arrived home in Salford, answers a cry of distress from kids up to no good by the canal. Seems a little girl of their acquaintance is trapped inside a pipe. It doesn't pay to play Good Samaritan at the best of times - to do so in a CH story is suicidal. Better that Parkins should never have read that Joseph Conrad paperback.
He Loves Me Not: While making his way home from a night out with the rugby team, a very drunk Carmichael is propositioned by a youthful male prostitute. Not being that type - and you'd better not say he is! - Carmichael promptly beats the sickening pervert to death. He's since been stalked by a shadowy witness to the murder.
After I Kill Her: Handy tips from an expert in body disposal. First appeared anonymously on Vault advent calendar Mk. I. Not very Christmassy.
Merry Christmas Motorway Man: The protagonist adopts ingenious disguise to avenge the deaths of his wife and children in a car smash. Let some other poor bastard know how it feels.
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Post by dem on Nov 6, 2020 15:27:54 GMT
Layby: Thirty-four years on from his involuntary corpse ravishing experience ( Spanish Suite), Paul Brown has recovered his sanity and found gainful employment as a sweet salesman. So, no great cause for alarm when his car packs in en route to Dortmund. The Iron Cross: Further exploits of our favourite one-eyed psychic detective and adventure. Mulholland, desperate to prevent a document falling into the hands of dangerous hands, receives timely assistance from the corpse of a wronged German war hero. Farantino's daughter - a chip off the old block if ever was - puts in a show-stealing guest appearance. A highlight of ( Screaming Book of Horror, 2012) Mary: There's a touch of the Robert Bloch's about this one. The simmering feud between cabaret artistes boils over in Montemarte. Furious at being upstaged, Albescu the Magnific absconds with not only the night's takings but also, it is believed, Mary, wife of his despised rival, the Amazing Caracci. She's not been seen since. All these years later, it falls upon Mulholland to ... pick up the pieces.
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Post by ripper on Nov 10, 2020 11:53:26 GMT
Congratulations to Craig and Chrissie, and well done to David.
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Post by Swampirella on Nov 10, 2020 12:18:32 GMT
Many congrats to Craig, Chrissie and David. The stories look very enticing; I'm hoping Parallel comes out with an ebook version which I'd definitely buy!
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Post by David A. Riley on Nov 10, 2020 15:35:10 GMT
Many congrats to Craig, Chrissie and David. The stories look very enticing; I'm hoping Parallel comes out with an ebook version which I'd definitely buy! An ebook version as well as a paperback are already prepared and ready to be published in the near future. I'll let everyone know as soon as this happens. |
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Post by Swampirella on Nov 10, 2020 15:39:38 GMT
Many congrats to Craig, Chrissie and David. The stories look very enticing; I'm hoping Parallel comes out with an ebook version which I'd definitely buy! An ebook version as well as a paperback are already prepared and ready to be published in the near future. I'll let everyone know as soon as this happens. Wonderful news, thanks for the update! |
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Post by helrunar on Nov 10, 2020 20:13:50 GMT
It sounds excellent! Congrats all round!
cheers, Helrunar
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Post by dem on Nov 11, 2020 20:00:36 GMT
The hardback is lovely. My only disappointment is the absence of Any Old Iron, a personal calendar favourite. Maybe it will turn up elsewhere?
Three jolts from Christmas Yet To Come, although at least one feels like it's right here right now.
Two Weeks: Four years into the apocalypse, Don't take it personally. Famine has made desperate men of we few survivors.
Last Mass: Holed up inside the church, chopping pews for firewood, Father Anton and the dying remnants of his flock pray for a miracle ...
Soap 7: (Dave W. Hughes [ed.], Works #7, 1990). The entire population adopt voluntary self-isolation, addicted to a reality show screened 24 hours a day. Correction; the entire population bar Maitland, who has studied the virus transmitted by a sentient soap, and is desperate to fight back.
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Post by dem on Nov 16, 2020 20:48:28 GMT
A double header from the orgy of good cheer that is Now that's what I call Christmas. The one grimly funny. The other ... maybe less so.
Clean: Come 2330, mans mastery of time travel enables the judiciary to pluck transgressors from the past to face retrospective, disproportionately harsh punishment. And no-one, but no-one, is innocent.
It Could Have Been Me: With limited availability, places at God's right hand are in the shortest supply, so the chances of your landing one are infinitely small. No matter how pious you are, it's as good as a sure thing the ovens of eternal damnation await.
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Post by humgoo on Dec 9, 2020 16:30:11 GMT
It seems incomprehensible to me that stories of the calibre of Christmas Eve at the Workhouse and Its All In The Game for two should have premiered on a Vault calendar. They deserve so much better and, happily, this superb collection is it. They're excellent tales and no mistake, really short and sweet (in the Vault sense of the word). It's also heartwarming to see the Vault mentioned again and again on the copyright page, and the book is really beautiful! |
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Post by Craig Herbertson on Dec 10, 2020 9:51:01 GMT
The hardback is lovely. My only disappointment is the absence of Any Old Iron, a personal calendar favourite. Maybe it will turn up elsewhere? I just forgot Any Old Iron, Dem. |
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