Darrell Buxton [ed.] - Six Six Sixth BHF Book of Horror

[dem bones]

Arrived today!

Darrell Buxton [ed.] - The Six Six Sixth BHF Book of Horror Stories (BHF, Dec. 2021).

Paul Mudie

Darrell Buxton - Introduction

Frazer Lee - Sixpack and the Angel
Sam Dawson - VI VI VI
Fritz Maitland - Armagideon Time
John Patrick Higgins - Something Borrowed, Something Blue ...
Ian Taylor - Flash McGrath I: The Holiday
Ian Taylor - Flash McGrath II: The Appointment
Simon J. Ballard - From a Daughter the Devil
Andrew Llewellyn - Cats, Dogs and Christians
Selene Kapsanki - Hell on Earth: Recollections of Travels in Victorian Manchester by President Buer
Nadia Mook - The Devil's Card
Paul Newman - Idol Hands
Darrell Buxton - Quaaludo
Simon J. Ballard - Go Forth and Multiply
Christopher Tighe - Letsby Avenue
Jez Conolly - The Other Room
Tony Earnshaw - Arthur Bennington Lives Alone at 666 Lieber Road
Ken Shinn - Sicks Sicks Sicks
Stephen Lang - Pews for Sale
Jason D. Brawn - Henry: Portrait of a Killer Doll
Wayne Mook - 666: The Number of the Bus
Christopher Tighe - Cryptobiosis
Sam Trafford - Lyke Wake
James Rosen - Room For One More
Simon J. Ballard - Seven Keys to Doomsday
Neil Pike - Ooh... You Are Diabolical!
Ken Shinn - Algorithm of the Beast
Christopher Tighe - Skip to the End
Tony Earnshaw - The Witch Bottle

Interior illustrations: Simon J. Ballard, Jez Connolly, Mark Hetherington, Wayne Mook, Selene Paxton-Brooks, Sam Trafford, Jolyon Yates.

Contributors

Blurb:

Give the Devil his due ....

During rehearsal, rival raucous rock groups inadvertently conjure up an ancient evil from the mystic East
Struggling stand-up comic hits the heights when he acquires a sinister joke book - but at what devilish personal cost?
Epicurean demonologists scheme to consume everything he possibly can goes horribly awry
Local loner taunted by neighbourhood kids bides his time to claim hideous Halloween night payback.


Presenting the Devil and all his works, in this brand new collection of terror tales to make your very soul shudder. Satanic rituals, sonorous incantations, children of the damned, denizens of hades, and Beelzebub himself are all here to plunge you into the fiery pit! Stories from a Godless universe, gathered from 'the other place' and set before your tortured gaze ....

[dem bones]

Was tempted to dive straight into the 'when animals attack' volume, but, no, being dead disciplined, will take them in order. Am already onto the eighth story - they're short and addictive - so best take a breather, knock out some notes.

Frazer Lee - Sixpack and the Angel: A serial killer with a grisly foot fetish and a loathing of "Religious nutcases" receives a celestial visitor to his cell on the eve of Apocalypse. Can his guardian angel move Sixpack to remorse and save his soul?

Sam Dawson - VI VI VI: Terrifying black winged doom descends on a a crowded town square.

Fritz Maitland - Armagideon Time: An ominous tall stranger in long black coat enters the Last Chance Saloon while four whiskey-sodden Piccadilly Cowboys exchange tales of improbably violent, bloody encounters past. They can't know it, but this latest will top the lot. Pretty sure I first read this way back on Vault MK I (aka, the dawn of time). It's stuck with me all those years.

John Patrick Higgins - Something Borrowed, Something Blue ...: A seismic change in fortune for Jimmy Gemini, ever-corpsing stand-up comedian, when he acquires the Devil's own joke book from a sepulchral store-room attendant (albeit by murdering him). Every one a guaranteed side-splitter.

[dem bones]

"A greedy, fat cat bastard like you ... Someone who bullies and breaks and ruins people for nothing but pleasure and gain? Just because deep down he knows he's f**k all."

Ian Taylor - Flash McGrath I: The Holiday: Ibeza. Roy was a 28 year old virgin until workpal Carl 'Flash' McGraph, handsome, twenty-something babe-magnet, shared the secret of his success with women/ men/ whoever/ whatever he fancies. Carl is Lucifer's PR man and recruitment officer; it's his business to lead the innocent astray and ensure they damn their souls to Hell. He relates two such bloody case histories. Ominous reference to a Macc Lads cassette in opening paragraphs should serve as all the warning you need ...

Ian Taylor - Flash McGrath II: The Appointment: Robert Franklin, managing director of a highly successful believes he's been headhunted for a job in Lucifer's empire. Turns out Flash has only invited him to the office to .... uh ... give him a mouthful. Very disgusting.

Simon J. Ballard - From a Daughter the Devil: Much improved, gory alternate ending to the Hammer movie as opposed to the novel so, alas, it's John Verney and not the abominable 'Conky Bill' comes to grief. Story could easily slot into the triumphant return that was last year's Third BHF Book of Horror .

[iant]

Ah, hope you gained some displeasurable pleasure from Flash and friends, Dem. I rarely venture into 'disgusting' territory but I see I have arrived.   The New Year will likely bring back gentler tragedies. 

[𝘗rincess 𝘵uvstarr]

Dec 19, 2021 11:22:02 GMT dem bones said:

"A greedy, fat cat bastard like you ... Someone who bullies and breaks and ruins people for nothing but pleasure and gain? Just because deep down he knows he's f**k all."

Ian Taylor - Flash McGrath I: The Holiday: Ibeza. Roy was a 28 year old virgin until workpal Carl 'Flash' McGraph, handsome, twenty-something babe-magnet, shared the secret of his success with women/ men/ whoever/ whatever he fancies. Carl is Lucifer's PR man and recruitment officer; it's his business to lead the innocent astray and ensure they damn their souls to Hell. He relates two such bloody case histories. Ominous reference to a Macc Lads cassette in opening paragraphs should serve as all the warning you need ...

Ian Taylor - Flash McGrath II: The Appointment: Robert Franklin, managing director of a highly successful believes he's been headhunted for a job in Lucifer's empire. Turns out Flash has only invited him to the office to .... uh ... give him a mouthful. Very disgusting.

Simon J. Ballard - From a Daughter the Devil: Much improved, gory alternate ending to the Hammer movie as opposed to the novel so, alas, it's John Verney and not the abominable 'Conky Bill' comes to grief. Story could easily slot into the triumphant return that was last year's Third BHF Book of Horror .

This sounds disgusting.

I therefore place it on the Vault Index Librorum Prohibitorum.

In fact, just to be on the safe side, I place all of Darrell Buxom's BHF (I don't know what that stands for) story collections on the list.

[dem bones]

Love this latest batch.

Andrew Llewellyn - Cats, Dogs and Christians: Set in 1985. A meat hook mutilation murder on the Stourbridge canal towpath. Meanwhile, Benjamin Reardon, until very recently sectioned under the Mental Health act for butchering domestic animals, is back home headbanging to his favourite Satanic Black Metal album ...

Selene Kapsanki - Hell on Earth: Recollections of Travels in Victorian Manchester by President Buer: Satan pays a day visit to 1870s Manchester, finding it much to his liking. Abject poverty, rampant disease, lynch mobs, blood sport, police brutality, vice - in short, every man woman and child a walking crime wave, etc. Truly a home from home.

Nadia Mook - The Devil's Card: It really does pay to read the small print before committing to any no check, too-good-to-be-true free credit offers. Horrible fun.

Paul Newman - Idol Hands: Big Bev, 14, persuades three bus-shelter pre-teens that old Mrs Dolen is a witch deserving of a fiery end. Can't explain why I got a Hammer House of Horror vibe from this one, but I did. Personal pick to the bunch to date, though yet to be one I don't care for.

[Paul N]

Most pleased you enjoyed it, DB, and agreed re the overall quality - I'm halfway through BHF666 now and loving them all

[dem bones]

Darrell Buxton - Quaaludo: Set in 1975. A game of ludo at Re-hearsal-Room studios between glam rock love gods, Bovver, and a hapless Geordie hard rock trio turns ugly when a chance turn of dice summons the demon, Najim, bloodthirsty avenger of Shiva. Also, how rehearsals for an It Ain't Half Hot Mum theatre tour inadvertently gave rise to punk.

Simon J. Ballard - Go Forth and Multiply: Set among an artist's commune in Cornwall, Christopher's devotion to Satanism of the non-showbiz/ News of the World variety, has disastrous and painful consequences both for himself and a girl who tries to help him. Perhaps the most nasty minded offering thus far. Not strictly accurate, but the temptation was to write "the one about the demonically possessed dildo" because that is surely how I'll remember it.

Christopher Tighe - Letsby Avenue: Persecuted beyond endurance by mouthy kids, poor old Mrs. Perkins misdials '999', summons a Satanic double act in full 'fifties Police drag like something from a sweary Chetwynd-Hayes nightmare. Insane violence ensues in the car park of Morrisons.

Jez Conolly - The Other Room: Dialogue between 'Bit' and 'Bot,' and ... I'm baffled, to be honest. Will have to come back to this one.

Tony Earnshaw - Arthur Bennington Lives Alone at 666 Lieber Road: The friendless, eccentric former taxidermist faces similar ordeal-by-hooligan as Mrs. Perkins from Letsby Avenue - bastard bully boy Tommy Wallace and his mates are at their most vindictive on Halloween night. But not this year. This year Mr. Bennington will improvise a scary mask so he can join in the fun!

[𝘗rincess 𝘵uvstarr]

Dec 21, 2021 11:26:35 GMT dem bones said:

Jez Conolly - The Other Room: Dialogue between 'Bit' and 'Bot,' and ... I'm baffled, to be honest. Will have to come back to this one.

Is this a first?

[dem bones]

Dec 21, 2021 14:51:23 GMT 𝘗rincess 𝘵uvstarr said:

Dec 21, 2021 11:26:35 GMT dem bones said:

Jez Conolly - The Other Room: Dialogue between 'Bit' and 'Bot,' and ... I'm baffled, to be honest. Will have to come back to this one.

Is this a first?

Far from it.

On with the show! It's laughing at the carpet all the way with;

Ken Shinn - Sicks Sicks Sicks: Extreme epicurean Rob Magum visits Pompeii to summon the demon Lord Vorascens, devourer of all. Misinterpretation of a fresco depicting an orgiastic Roman banquet has disgusting consequences. A story best read aloud at the Christmas table, obviously.

Stephen Lang - Pews for Sale: Rev. Richard Somerville, exorcist, is commissioned by tiresome church middle man, Charles Oberman, to postpone retirement for just one night and terminate a bizarre case of demonic possession at St. Mary's. The deconsecrated, long derelict church was recently purchased by Mr. Robertson to convert into a children's soft play centre with mandatory inflatable slide. Rev. Somerville turns the situation to his advantage.

Jason D. Brawn: Henry: Portrait of a Killer Doll: Sequel to the much loved I Don't Want To Be Born. On his death, the evil spirit of Hercules the dwarf takes possession of a doll, Henry, owned by Claire Blaylock, a deranged former beauty queen/ actress. Claire treats her handsome dolly as a child, even sets aside a room for a nursery. Henry has an eye for the ladies. He's especially taken with neighbour Katie Seaton, primary teacher and aspiring horror authoress.

[dem bones]

Wayne Mook - 666: The Number of the Bus: Nor comes prepared for a zombie shoot-up aboard the ancient green bus to Manchester, which has been hijacked by a jumped-up wraith who thinks he's Death. In other news, Cal's rotten luck with women shows no sign of improvement.

Christopher Tighe - Cryptobiosis: Sci-horror set at a research institute during the 1966 world cup. Tardigrades, marooned when the Beresheet Lander crashed on the moon in 2019, join forces with Satan to take revenge on mankind. Massed billions of these microscopic creatures travel back in time to impersonate a janitor at the Renwick Institute; their mission, to sabotage a microwave generator and burn everyone to sludge. Crap synopsis as per usual, but cracking story. Includes episodes of extreme melty death.

Sam Trafford - Lyke Wake: Couldn't quite get my head around this mini-epic. Set in 1982 on the North Yorkshire Moors. Fugitive killer Gary 'Fiend of the Forest' Parnell takes two women and a little Siouxsie Sioux fan hostage at a cottage as he awaits retribution from legion Rawhead and Bloody Bones from the marl pits at Harwood Dale.

James Rosen - Room For One More: Why did Lord Probert (not our one, though there are diabolical similarities) insist that 665 room, eighteen story Allan Towers be built without an elevator? All is revealed (sort of) two years on from his temporary death.

Simon J. Ballard - Seven Keys to Doomsday: Hell is a 'seventies motorway service station with rival groups of six dismembering one another in the car park. A whole lot worse awaits inside. That you can walk out when you please is of scant consolation when you can never get away.

[dem bones]

Neil Pike - Ooh... You Are Diabolical!: Strong personal favourite of book contender. Have no wish to ruin it, so ... The Dick Emery feature film meets The Omen (via Robin's Nest, Are You Being Served ?, The Good Life, & ... no; I can't bring myself to type it). My God, the horror, the horror ....

Ken Shinn - Algorithm of the Beast: A numerologist shares the encrypted message that could save the souls of each and every one of us ... if we can decipher it. Editor sadistically hints in his introduction that the solution may be revealed in Seventh BHF Book of Horror, but then again - it may not.

Christopher Tighe - Skip to the End: Brother Bartholemew, trendy youth reporter on the Ecclesiastical Herald circa Madchester/ Rave, etc., interviews Prof. Wandsdyke, demonologist, for the publications forthcoming 666th issue. Wandsdyke has discovered a terrible truth; there is no such thing as a typing error or random insertion on the printed page. Each of these supposed glaring errors is part of an incantation which, once complete, will ultimately release the demon Azahazal to devour every human soul. As Bart the baggy hears out the paranoid old fool, a storm builds overhead ...

Tony Earnshaw - The Witch Bottle: A 60 second play. Imprisoned within the glass bottle, Eldoth, Mistress of the Black Arts, bides her time, knowing that, eventually, some nosey parker will break the seal.

Devil fiction isn't really my thing, so am pleasantly astounded to have enjoyed The Six Six Sixth Book of Horror so much more than anticipated. There were no stories I disliked, just a couple I couldn't quite get my head around. If you've enjoyed previous volumes, this is very much the same mix of straight horror, macabre humour and skewed (mostly '70's-90's) pop culture, so you're likely to get along with it just fine.

Available via: Six Six Sixth Book of Horror.

"Proceeds from sales of these books will go to our specially selected charity, FAST, the charity raising funds for research into Angelman syndrome."

[Jez Conolly]

Just to help you out - Bit and Bot were the two resident goldfish on Play School in the 1970s. In the context of The Other Room, their interaction is informed by Estragon and Vladimir in Beckett’s Waiting for Godot, with a dash of the loquacious fish in the restaurant tank seen on Monty Python’s The Meaning of Life.

[darrell]

Dec 27, 2021 18:52:16 GMT Jez Conolly said:

Just to help you out - Bit and Bot were the two resident goldfish on Play School in the 1970s. In the context of The Other Room, their interaction is informed by Estragon and Vladimir in Beckett’s Waiting for Godot, with a dash of the loquacious fish in the restaurant tank seen on Monty Python’s The Meaning of Life.

And as such, a fine companion piece to Neil P's 'tales from the set of Venom' story in vol.3

[dem bones]

Dec 27, 2021 18:52:16 GMT Jez Conolly said:

Just to help you out - Bit and Bot were the two resident goldfish on Play School in the 1970s. In the context of The Other Room, their interaction is informed by Estragon and Vladimir in Beckett’s Waiting for Godot, with a dash of the loquacious fish in the restaurant tank seen on Monty Python’s The Meaning of Life.

Ah, thank you, Mr. Conolly! Don't fell so bad now as I couldn't have got Play School reference and (possibly in a minority here), I've never watched The Meaning of Life.

Seems only fair to warn that I plan to get going on BHF 7 later in week ...