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Post by dem on Dec 6, 2015 13:21:25 GMT
Ah. I think this will be some of that superb Baen cover artwork M. Lapin X was telling us about ... Esther M. Friesner (ed.) Fangs for the Mammaries (Baen, 2010)  Clyde Caldwell
Jody Lynn Nye - Overbite
David Freer - "If Music Be the Food Of Love..."
Julia S. Mandala - Soccer Mom SmackDown
Kevin Andrew Murphy- Tecate for Hecate
K. D. Wentworth - Miss WhiteHands's Class Goes Shopping
Sarah A. Hoyt - A Matter of Blood
Lee Martindale- Sarah Bailey and the Texas Beauty Queen
David D. Levine- Family Matters Hildy
Silverman - Sappy Meals
Lucienne Diver - Fruit of the Vein
Daniel M. Hoyt - Stick or Treat
Selina Rosen - Food Quart
Susan Sizemore - Dazed and Confused
Robin Wayne Bailey - Trampire
Sarah Zettel - Vampless
Linda L. Donahue - The Goth Girl Next Door
Esther M. Friesner - Long in the Tooth
Laura J. Underwood - Bella and the Flying Lugosi
Steven Piziks - Bait and Switch
Lois McMaster Bujold - Cryoburn (excerpt) Blurb: Having inflicted the smug homes of suburbia with witches and werewolves. Esther Friesner now unleashes the undead to tap a vein of blood and humor, and drain the suburbs dry of both.
Vampires and the suburbs are a match made in heaven, or maybe Levittown. Remember Dracula? He didn't run into any real problems until he took his act on the road and traveled to the Big City. But in the suburbs, everyone is polite and respectful of their neighbors' right to privacy. And if your neighbors happen to have kids selling gift-wrap, magazine subscriptions, cookies, or other school fundraising ploys, and little Emily or Jason happen to come peddling their wares after sundown.. Who says you have to stay in the city if you want good take-out meals delivered right to your door? There's no one quite like a vampire for saying, "All of you kids get off of my lawn!" and putting some teeth into it.
The stories in these pages by Sarah A. Hoyt, K.D. Wentworth, Dave Freer and more, including Esther Friesner herself—will convince the reader that vampires and suburbs go together like wine and cheese, gin and tonic, desperation and housewives, marriage and pre-nups. Enter freely and of your own will... Book three of three in the 'Supernatural Suburbia' Series, Witch Way To The Maul? and werewolf anthology Strip Mauled completing the set. My copy was originally a birthday gift to Amy on her 21st, "Something for your vampire sexual needs. Not quite True Blood X." Julia S. Mandala - Soccer Mom SmackDown: "The soccer field hadn't seen this much activity since the Battle Hamsters played that epic game with the Mighty Moon Princesses that ended in a 0-0 tie." Heather Smith, new to the neighbourhood, volunteers to coach the kids' useless co-ed "soccer" team, the Battle Hamsters. Before long, she finds herself in conflict with a former coach, Louise Sullivan, when little Madison Smith beats up her son. Louis just so happens to be five years undead and hating it, the victim of a fang-faced mugger in a convenience store, so the cards are stacked against Heather should she turn nasty on being told that her little angel is a bully. Problem is, Mrs. Smith is a Buffy wannabe who already has Louise all figured out. Sadly, not the 'Sport is Horror' entry I'd hoped for, but cheery enough if you're all horror-ed out. |
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Post by Jojo Lapin X on Dec 6, 2015 14:12:24 GMT
They seem to believe their target audience is attracted by bright primary colors.
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Post by ohthehorror on Dec 6, 2015 15:56:22 GMT
From the creator of 'chicks in chainmail' no less. How on earth did I manage to avoid books like this all this time? It's a crying shame. I'll add them to my wish list forthwith :thumbup:
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Post by dem on Dec 6, 2015 18:33:03 GMT
From the creator of 'chicks in chainmail' no less. How on earth did I manage to avoid books like this all this time? It's a crying shame. I'll add them to my wish list forthwith :thumbup: A word of caution. If, as I suspect, the following story is typical of Fangs ... and the rest of her anthologies, Esther M. Friesner favours "humorous" tales of a type may have you repenting all the nasty things you ever said about R. Chetwynd-Hayes, if not - I shudder as I type - dotty Dorothy Kilmurry-Hall's Bert's Resurrection. Linda L. Donahue - The Goth Girl Next Door: This time, it's an entire colony of assorted nice monsters come under threat from Andie, a Suburban Goth chic with a Kate Beckinsale in Van Helsing hang up. Can Charlie the vampire and his gruesome pals convince her of their essential decency? After all, they operate as an unofficial and highly efficient Neighbourhood Watch, preying only upon undesirables (e.g., paedo's and graffiti artists). There's a sub-plot involving Andie's teenage son who plays in a faux 'zombie' rock band, Revolting Bloated Corpses (née Rutabaga Riot). |
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Post by Jojo Lapin X on Dec 6, 2015 18:47:59 GMT
Your brain will rot. My warning is sincere.
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Post by dem on Dec 6, 2015 18:54:05 GMT
Your brain will rot. My warning is sincere. Thank you for your concern sir, but I'm afraid your warning has arrived some decades too late ... |
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Post by dem on Dec 7, 2015 23:37:35 GMT
Lee Martindale- Sarah Bailey and the Texas Beauty Queen: Jennifer Shick Haggard, Texas Real Estate agent, is a psychic vampire, feeding on the lovely misery she inflicts on unsuspecting clients, the latest being Sarah, a woman faced with destitution following the compulsory purchase of her happy home of twenty years. At least Jennifer in vampire form is a tentacled cut above her contemporaries, and the author throws in a welcome squishy bit when a vengeful Sarah finally rumbles the glamorous baggage for the parasite she is.
Laura J. Underwood - Bella and the Flying Lugosi: As their name suggests, newcomers to the neighbourhood, the Flying Lugosi family, are Romanian circus performers, which is all very well, but snooty Bella Van Helsing cannot abide "commoner vampires," what with she and her manservant, Harker, being of the True Blood and all. The outsiders are exterminated with ease.
I'm not sure how much more of this book I can handle.
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Post by dem on Dec 14, 2015 13:11:37 GMT
Struggling manfully on;
Sarah Zettel - Vampless: Unless Marcia moves fast, she and totally lame Stephanie Gibbs, poster-girl for the Vampstinance movement, will be the only vampless tenth graders in Trenton, Michigan, and who wants to date daytime boys? Even her best pal, Hannah, has bagged a bloodsucker, dishy Damien, bitten by Rasputin as he attempted to rescue Tsar Nicholas and family from the Bolshevik firing squad.
According to Hannah, vampires - the sympathetic, middle-class ones, at least - find slayers a huge turn-on (pointy stakes get them really hot), so she might like to invest in a Buffy costume and hang out in bad neighbourhoods ....
Sarah A. Hoyt - A Matter of Blood. Two sisters. Buffy, a busty, blue-eyed blonde, is a slayer. Agney works for her lover, Nephilim Kentucky Jones III, a psychic investigator with much of the night about him. Buffy reckons 'Agony's guy needs exterminating.
I'm sure there is/ was a huge market for this book, but can't say it is doing much for me. It's been all downhill since the attractive cover painting.
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Post by dem on Oct 20, 2016 19:34:23 GMT
They seem to believe their target audience is attracted by bright primary colors. You're not wrong. Esther M. Friesner (ed.) - Chics Ahoy! (Baen, 2012)  Clyde Caldwell
Roger Zelazny - Lady of Steel
Elizabeth Moon - And Ladies of the Club
Susan Shwartz - Exchange Program
Harry Turtledove - Goddess for a Day
Holly Lisle - Armor-Ella
Margaret Ball - Career Day
David Vierling - Armor/Amore
Elizabeth Ann Scarborough - The Stone of War and the Nightingale's Egg
Jody Lynn Nye - The Growling
eluki bes shahar - The New Britomart
Mark Bourne - On the Road of Silver
Janni Lee Simner - Bra Melting
Laura Frankos - The Old Grind
Esther Friesner - The Way to a Man's Heart
Nancy Springer - Whoops!
Lawrence Watt-Evans - The Guardswoman
Josepha Sherman - Teacher's Pet
Jan Stirling - Were-Wench
Elizabeth Waters - Blood Calls to Blood
George Alec Effinger - Maureen Birnbaum in the MUD
II. Esther Friesner - Introduction: Did You Say Chicks
Elizabeth Moon - No Pain, No Gain
Laura Frankos - Slue-Foot Sue and the Witch in the Woods
Sarah Zettel - A Young Swordswoman's Garden Primer
Jody Lynn Nye - The Old Fire
Mark Bourne - Like No Business I Know
Marina Frants & Keith R.A. DeCandido - A Bone to Pick
Elizabeth Ann Scarborough - The Attack of the Avenging Virgins
Christina Briley & Walter Vance Awsten - O, Sweet Goodnight!
Doranna Durgin - A Bitch in Time
Laura Anne Gilman - Don't You Want to Be Beautiful?
Barbara Hambly - A Night with the Girls
Steven Piziks - A Quiet Knight's Reading
Jan Stirling & S.M. Stirling - Armor Propre
Esther Friesner - A Big Hand for the Little Lady
K.D. Wentworth - Blade Runner
Lawrence Watt-Evans - Keeping Up the Appearances
Harry Turtledove - La Difference
Margaret Ball - Tales from the Slushpile
Adam-Troy Castro - Yes, Did We Say Chicks
III. Esther Friesner - Introduction: Chicks 'n Chained Males
Harry Turtledove - Myth Manner's Guide to Greek Missology #1
Steven Piziks - Chain, Link, Fence
Elizabeth Moon - Fool's Gold
Lawrence Watt-Evans - In for a Pound
Marina Frants - Death Becomes Him
Susan Shwartz - Straight Arrow
Rosemary Edghill - Bad Heir Day
Susan Cooper - Why Do You Think They Call it Middle Earth?
Laura Frankos - Leg Irons, the Bitch, and the Wardrobe
Josepha Sherman - Shiftless
Brian D. Akers - May/December at the Mall
Jan Stirling - Yo, Baby!
Jody Lynn Nye - Don't Break the Chain!
Esther Friesner - Cross CHILDREN Walk
Kate Daniel - ...But Comedy is Hard
Kevin Andrew Murphy - Baubles, Bangles and Beads
K.D. Wentworth - Hallah Iron-Thighs and the Five Unseemly Sorrows
Sarah Zettel - Miss Underwood and the Mermaid From the blurb: Here they come, and they're out for blood! For too long have hot-blooded babes in brass bras and chain link bikinis been held up to scorn as the embodiment of male fantasy wish-fulfillment and non-fictionality. You think their swords won't cut, their clubs won't crush? You think they look cute? It's time to take sword-swinging amazons more seriously! Well, maybe not too seriously. After all, the popular Chicks in Chainmail series wasn't known for stark drama and solemn think-pieces. In fact, they made a lot of people laugh. And to think I'm finding Fangs for the Mammaries hard going. Spare a thought for those selfless souls who would voluntarily subject themselves to 880+ pages of 'humorous' sword-swinging Amazon fiction so we don't have to. Chicks Ahoy! is an omnibus of the first three 'Chics in Chainmail' volumes (there have been at least six), Chicks in Chainmail (1995), Did You Say Chicks ? (1998), Chicks 'N Chained Males (1999). No. I haven't. But I am a bit tempted. |
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Post by Jojo Lapin X on Oct 20, 2016 19:49:04 GMT
No! You must not.
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Post by andydecker on Oct 20, 2016 20:38:56 GMT
This sounds pretty dire.
I only know the Effinger story. That is to say one of them. This was a series in the Magazine of Fantasy and SF back then. I am not a fan of humorous fantasy,and this didn't change my opinion. There are a few decent writers here like Barbara Hambley, still ... 880 pages of this? Shudder. |
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Post by dem on Oct 21, 2016 5:20:16 GMT
Accursed bookaholism! Will I new break free of thy icy tentacles? Thank you JoJo, Andreas, for saving me from myself. * Not having enough credit on my Am*z*n voucher probably helped, too. *
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Post by helrunar on Oct 21, 2016 14:40:47 GMT
oh gawwwwwd. UGH.
H.
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Post by dem on Jul 20, 2017 8:14:13 GMT
I feel so much better now this thread is back to its old self. |
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Post by dem on Jul 6, 2018 8:08:33 GMT
Tried another;
Steven Piziks - Bait And Switch: Wanda Silver, vampire-hunting P.I. versus Lucas, the devilishly handsome gay lost boy who turned her brother. More nice, misunderstood-vampire-with-a-heart-of-gold tosh from supernatural suburbia, in this instance Hidden Oaks, Veneficus. "Life is good." I despair.
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