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Post by Jojo Lapin X on Jul 6, 2018 8:26:02 GMT
Nobody is forcing you to do this, you know. |
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Post by andydecker on Jul 6, 2018 19:15:56 GMT
Tried another; Steven Piziks - Bait And Switch: Wanda Silver, vampire-hunting P.I. versus Lucas, the devilishly handsome gay lost boy who turned her brother. More nice, misunderstood-vampire-with-a-heart-of-gold tosh from supernatural suburbia, in this instance Hidden Oaks, Veneficus. "Life is good." I despair. Wanda Silver, vampire-hunting P.I. Good grief. |
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Post by mcannon on Jul 7, 2018 6:32:48 GMT
Nobody is forcing you to do this, you know. I tend to think of it as a noble act of self-sacrifice by Dem; a bit like throwing himself on a grenade to save us. Mark |
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Post by dem on Jul 9, 2018 17:00:53 GMT
Robin Wayne Bailey - Trampire: "Fuck. My g-string broke!"
"That happens to me a lot, too," she said, raising her glass with a wink and a smile"
Maggie Cummings, the vampire adult film star (Legs In The Air, Sucker!, Saddle Tramp, Naked Ninja Vixens, etc), visits a jazz blues club to catch a set by guitarist Rufus Washington. A bloody kiss from the lady inspires Rufus to deliver the greatest performance of his life until gig is invaded by Bible-Bashing Fred Werthem (spelling fluctuates, sometimes 'Worthem'. character likely inspired by Fredric Wertham of Seduction Of The Innocents: The Influence of Comic Books On Today's Youth repute) and his heavies, the National Association for Morality through Biblical Law & Action. Set ends in a minor riot/ nudity/ true love, etc.
David Freer - "If Music Be the Food Of Love...": Bitten as a sixteen-year-old, Zara has remained a rebellious teenager for three centuries. At last she finds true love in clammy arms of Quincey, aka hard rock DJ Frank Stine, the laboratory creation of Dr. Abraham van Hellsing .
Daniel M. Hoyt - Stick or Treat: More horror fiction minus the horror. The small community of Black Forest, Costwold Acres has been monopolised by vampires. Jenny, a divorcee, and son Billy spend Halloween with the Pyre-Bat family. Billy, the only human kid at the local school, is best pals with young Van Pyre-Bat and his mortal Mom wants to know if the living dead are safe to be around. Unfortunately for reader, this proves the case. Jenny gets off with Mike Aickman, the Pyre-Bat's hunky neighbour, whose father, Robert, is beloved by the trick or treaters (being vampires, they adopt Buffy and/ or Van Helsing fancy dress for the evening) as he "gives out full-size Snickers."
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Post by Jojo Lapin X on Jul 9, 2018 18:13:03 GMT
Stop it! Stop it now!
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Post by dem on Jul 9, 2018 18:46:59 GMT
Relax. I just made a start on ... Esther M. Friesner & Martin H. Greenberg (eds.) - Alien Pregnant By Elvis: 36 Original Tabloid Tales (DAW, June 1994) Esther M. Friesner - Introduction: Alien Pregnant by Elvis
Dennis McKiernan - The Source of it All
Lawrence Watt-Evans - The Bride of Bigfoot
Barry N. Malzberg - Close-Up Photos Reveal JFK Skull on Moon!
James Brunet - Marilyn, Elvis, and the Reality Blues
Laura Resnick - Those Rowdy Royals!
Karen Haber - My Husband Became a Zombie and It Saved Our Marriage
Deborah Wunder - Rock Band Conjures Satan as Manager
Allen Steele - 2,437 UFOs Over New Hampshire
Mark Tiedemann - Pulitzer Kills Publishing Maggot
Kristine Kathryn Rusch - Elvis at the White House
Jeff Hecht - The Number of the Beast
Anthony Lewis - De Gustibus
Eluki bes Shahar (Rosemary Edghill) - Is Your Coworker a Space Alien?
Laura Frankos - A Beak for Trends
John DeChancie - Hitler Clone in Argentina Plots Falklands Reprise
Thomas F. Monteleone - Group Phenomena
Roger Dutcher & Bruce Boston - Unextinctions
Bruce Boston - How Alien He Really Was
Alan Dean Foster - NASA Sending Addicts to Mars!
John Gregory Betancourt - Vole
Dean Wesley Smith - In Search of the Perfect Orgasm
Kate Daniel - Saving Sam's Used UFOs
Greg Cox - Danny's Excellent Adventure
Esther M. Friesner - Royal Tiff Yields Face of Jesus!
T. Winter-Damon - Magnetic Personality Triggers Nail-Biter's Near-Death Ordeal!
Harry Turtledove - They'd Never—
David Vierling - Loch Ness Monster Found—In the Bermuda Triangle
Josepha Sherman - Racehorse Predicts the Future!
Gregory Feeley - Printer's Devils
David Drake - Cannibal Plants From Heck
Jody Lynn Nye - Psychic Bats 1000 For Accuracy!
Richard Gilliam - Caveat Atlantis
G---r G---n (Rosemary Edghill) - Frozen Hitler Found in Atlantean Love Nest
David Brin - Those Eyes
Mike Resnick - Stop Press
George Alec Effinger - Martian Memorial to Elvis Sighted |
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Post by andydecker on Jul 9, 2018 20:08:08 GMT
You are truly fearless. 
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Post by mcannon on Jul 10, 2018 4:48:18 GMT
Relax. I just made a start on ... Esther M. Friesner & Martin H. Greenberg (eds.) - Alien Pregnant By Elvis: 36 Original Tabloid Tales (DAW, June 1994) Esther M. Friesner - Introduction: Alien Pregnant by Elvis
Dennis McKiernan - The Source of it All
Lawrence Watt-Evans - The Bride of Bigfoot
Barry N. Malzberg - Close-Up Photos Reveal JFK Skull on Moon!
James Brunet - Marilyn, Elvis, and the Reality Blues
Laura Resnick - Those Rowdy Royals!
Karen Haber - My Husband Became a Zombie and It Saved Our Marriage
Deborah Wunder - Rock Band Conjures Satan as Manager
Allen Steele - 2,437 UFOs Over New Hampshire
Mark Tiedemann - Pulitzer Kills Publishing Maggot
Kristine Kathryn Rusch - Elvis at the White House • short story by
Jeff Hecht - The Number of the Beast
Anthony Lewis - De Gustibus
Eluki bes Shahar (Rosemary Edghill) - Is Your Coworker a Space Alien?
Laura Frankos - A Beak for Trends
John DeChancie - Hitler Clone in Argentina Plots Falklands Reprise
Thomas F. Monteleone - Group Phenomena
Roger Dutcher & Bruce Boston - Unextinctions [Verse]
Bruce Boston - How Alien He Really Was
Alan Dean Foster - NASA Sending Addicts to Mars!
John Gregory Betancourt - Vole
Dean Wesley Smith - In Search of the Perfect Orgasm
Kate Daniel - Saving Sam's Used UFOs
Greg Cox - Danny's Excellent Adventure
Esther M. Friesner - Royal Tiff Yields Face of Jesus!
T. Winter-Damon - Magnetic Personality Triggers Nail-Biter's Near-Death Ordeal!
Harry Turtledove - They'd Never—
David Vierling - Loch Ness Monster Found—In the Bermuda Triangle
Josepha Sherman - Racehorse Predicts the Future!
Gregory Feeley - Printer's Devils
David Drake - Cannibal Plants From Heck
Jody Lynn Nye - Psychic Bats 1000 For Accuracy!
Richard Gilliam - Caveat Atlantis
G---r G---n (Rosemary Edghill) - Frozen Hitler Found in Atlantean Love Nest
David Brin - Those Eyes
Mike Resnick - Stop Press
George Alec Effinger - Martian Memorial to Elvis SightedOh, Lordy - I actually bought that one, brand new! In my defence, there were a few notable names amongst the contributors. I think the book wasn't in my collection for very long - the next time I did a cull, out it went. Mark |
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Post by dem on Jul 11, 2018 5:34:31 GMT
Borrowed it from the Archive.org virtual library. Oh, Lordy - I actually bought that one, brand new! In my defence, there were a few notable names amongst the contributors. I think the book wasn't in my collection for very long - the next time I did a cull, out it went. Mark I loaned it from the Archive org. virtual library so have only 13 days to complete it which is likely to prove endurance test too far. Lawrence Watt-Evans - The Bride Of Bigfoot: Oregon. Drunk driver Rodney MacWhirter and Midnight News hack Moe Betterman resolve to find Bubba the lonely Sasquatch a mate. All to no avail until kindly extra-terrestrials pitch in. Moral. Every far-fetched tabloid story is true, especially the fake ones. Dean Welsley Smith - In Search of the Perfect Orgasm: or Doing It With A Big Lizard Can Be Fun: Cautionary tale of Sally Ann Gibson, age sixteen, size 36D, who defied Mom to attend school bra-less and got blasted by an alien ray intended for Godzilla. Josepha Sherman - Racehorse Predicts The Future!: An embezzler gets rich off dead-cert tips provided by a clairvoyant alien trapped inside Sunny Boy, the sex-crazed race horse. Deborah J. Wunder - Rock Band Conjures Satan As Manager- Group Claims “Good Business Move”: "World famous megagroup" Kill the Smurfs, summon a celebrity patron from pit. "We don't advocate rape or racial violence. Mostly, we'd like a return to the world's older religions, because they really knew how to party." The Norwegian Black Metal circle must have been thrilled. John Gregory Betancourt - Vole: Dr. Ferret facilitates the rise of the manimals. Affluent Californians and New Yorkers undergo reconstructive surgery to become man-pigeon/ wolf/ snake/ yellowjacket/ squid hybrids. David Vierling - Loch Ness Monster Found - In The Bermuda Triangle: "Sure, mon, ja be the Crocodile from Peter Pon. So, tell me, mon, what do a Pirate's hand taste like?" Mr. Nestor McLochlan, Loch Ness Monster, takes get-away-from-it-all vacation in Bermuda, fails to escape autograph hunting tourists who mistake him for Dino out of The Flintstones or, in the case of the Japanese, "Godzirra." More racial stereotyping and hilarious funny accents going on here than in entire series of ghastly '70's Brit sit-com, Mind Your Language. Special guest appearance by the Duchess of York, Sarah "Fergie" Ferguson circa toe-sucking "scandal." |
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Post by The Lurker In The Shadows on Jul 11, 2018 9:30:00 GMT
The only Esther M. Friesner book I know is the odd but rather enjoyable Druid's Blood, a romp of a novel I picked up in the early '90s purely based on the cover, which ties Holmesian pastiche into a fantasy alternate world of magic and mysticism.
Victoria, queen of the realm, the mightiest mage in the British Isles, and one of the lustiest women Dr. John H. Weston had ever had the pleasure to companion beneath the covers, was in desperate trouble. And the only one who could help her was the world’s most renowned sleuth, Brihtric Donne. For someone had stolen the Rules Brittania, the magic tome that was the secret strength of both Victoria and her kingdom. Now with the Rules gone, Victoria was powerless to halt the unknown foe who was summoning demons of evil to destroy the queen and the Isles. So Donne and Weston begin a hunt that would lead from the haunts of Lord Byron and Oscar Wilde to the Mound of the Baskervilles to a confrontation with all the darkest magic a would-be monarch’s mad ambition could conjure up…
I'm not a great fan of magical fantasy tales, but the inclusion of Holmes and Watson in the form of Donne and Weston was what attracted me, and there are some nice twists on some of Holmes's most famous unrecorded cases in the incidents and chapter titles.
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Post by helrunar on Jul 11, 2018 17:25:47 GMT
Daniel, I felt slightly dizzy just reading through that blurb. Wow. There's actually a novel in there, not some kind of frothy comic strip videogame?
Sounds like quite a way to spend one of those weekends when one finds oneself loth to rise from the settee...
cheers, Steve
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Post by dem on Jul 12, 2018 11:03:59 GMT
Am finding this anthology a less arduous read than Fangs for the Mammaries if only because the Fortean subject matter is of more personal interest than irredeemably dull suburban vampires.
Esther M. Friesner - Royal Tiff Yields Face of Jesus!: The former Prince Charles' first act as King is to return Britain to Druidism. Emigration is forbidden, Politicians of every stripe and all who refuse to adopt the new-Old Religion are drowned in peat bogs. Princess Diana Spencer, fugitive, seeks shelter in the simulacra-infested woodland cottage of the crone, Daisy Coombs, who opposes the new-old regime. A white-robed Charles and hench-men storm the cottage and drag the two women away to the local mire. Princess Di watches helpless and terrified as the old woman sinks in the bog - whereupon the inexplicable intervention of world famous lake monster saves the day. Introducing the story, the author writes; "I want you to know that That Unfortunate Business in the British royal family happened after I wrote this. I am there-for currently working on a story in which a poor-but-honest anthology editor wins the Lottery."
Roger Dutcher & Bruce Boston - Unextinctions: Nature in revolt two-pager. The overnight return of the dodo, dinosaur, roc, primitive man, & Co, spells doom for mankind.
Bruce Boston - How Alien He Really Was: Niave ET learns harsh lesson of celebrity, as media "friends" desert once its fifteen minutes are up. Even benign space invaders have a limited print-life.
Gregory Feeley - Printer's Devils: "It was a cover from the Alert. The headline, properly edged this time, cried: SCHMUCK GIVES BIRTH TO NESSIE. The photo showed a man, face contorted in fear or pain as a coiling sea serpent (recognizable from a cover some months back) exploded out of his backside. The man, on closer view, was recognizably Penn."
Clifford Penn, freelance computer technician, is persecuted by possessed software insistent on superimposing his image onto every faked photograph in sensationalist tabloid, The Weekly Alert.
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Post by The Lurker In The Shadows on Jul 12, 2018 13:23:58 GMT
Daniel, I felt slightly dizzy just reading through that blurb. Wow. There's actually a novel in there, not some kind of frothy comic strip videogame? Sounds like quite a way to spend one of those weekends when one finds oneself loth to rise from the settee... cheers, Steve I'm not sure if that's an official blurb or a condensed version written by someone on GoodReads. It's like a jazzed up version of the one on my old paperback edition. I wouldn't have picked up the edition shown there, as the cover isn't to my tastes. The cover that caught my eye is the one shown here... www.amazon.co.uk/Druids-Blood-Esther-M-Friesner/dp/0747233128/ref=pd_rhf_gw_p_img_15?_encoding=UTF8&psc=1&refRID=DD1QHR4JYE9W6G7H7N7Y |
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Post by helrunar on Jul 12, 2018 14:42:38 GMT
That's a beaut of a cover, Daniel. Thanks for posting the link!
I'm not sure I could tolerate Ms Friesner's writing style--if "style" is the proper word for it.
cheers, Steve
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Post by dem on May 11, 2020 18:04:25 GMT
This lockdown continues much longer it will drive us all to commit unspeakable crimes. Like continuing with this book.
Dennis McKiernan - The Source of it All: Everything you read in The National Enquirer is a factual on-the-spot report from a neighbourhood in small-town America.
James Brunet - Marilyn, Elvis, and the Reality Blues: Henry Kissinger wonders at sharing an apartment block with so many supposedly dead American idols.
Greg Cox - Danny's Excellent Adventure: Is former US vice-president Dan Quayle a renegade time traveller or just not great with words?
Jody Lynn Nye - Psychic Bats 1000 For Accuracy!: The secret behind tabloid astrologer Gipsy Marie's phenomenal powers of precognition.
An anthology of genuine National Enquirer articles would be so much more imaginative.
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