David Bischoff - The Blob

[dem bones]

David Bischoff - The Blob (Star, 1989: originally Dell, 1988)

Blurb;
IT CREEPS, IT CRAWLS, IT SEEPS, IT MAULS. IT'S...THE BLOB

Thirty years ago, THE BLOB was captured and dispatched to outer space by the United States Armed Forces. Now it's back as an exploding, overwhelming force of evil unleashing unimaginable fear upon its victims.

Kevin Dillon, Shawnee Smith and Donovan Leitch star in this contemporary horror story that propels the cult classic monster into the modern age with state of the art technology and terror.

Tri-Star Pictures and Andre Blay/Elliott Kastner present
A Chuck Russell Film
THE BLOB
Executive Producer Andre Blay
Screenplay by Chuck Russell and Frank Darabont
Produced by Jack H. Harris and Elliott Kastner
Directed by Chuck Russell
A Tri-Star release
© 1988 Tri-Star Pictures. All rights reserved.
A UK cinema release through Braveworld Ltd.

Morgan City, a quiet Colorado town with pretensions, where folk are essentially decent law-abiding citizens and there's little to tax Sheriff Herb Geller's abilities. To make himself look busy, Herb persecutes moody teenage outcast Brian Flagg who has served a few stretches in Juvie hall and rides a motorcycle. Brian's no crim, just misunderstood, which is maybe why he identifies with local eccentric Jimmy 'the Can Man 'Nick , a woodland hermit who scrimps a living from recycling discarded bottles, and is tolerated by his neighbours as a novelty litter collector. By way of 'excitement', there's local hang out the Tick Tock Diner - Sheriff Geller is sweet on Fran, a sassy, thirty-something waitress - and the school football team's annual grudge match with the Banning Hill Raccoons. In other words, if ever a place needed livening up some, Morgan City qualifies even above Romford.

A meteor falls out of the night sky, scorches the treetops and lands just shy of the Jimmy Nick's hovel. His mangy mutt Nixon doesn't like the look of it, but the Can Man reckons the pulsating pinkish rock may be worth something. He prods it with a stick ....

Paul Tyler is having the best day of his teenage life. Not only did he set up the Morgan High Hawks' winning touchdown, he's also bagged a date with the prettiest, sweetest girl in the world, i.e. Meg Penny, the Hawks' #1 cheerleader. Sure, his jerk of a best buddy, Scott Jesky, almost scuppered things with her old man, but here he is, driving the local dreamstuff to a restaurant and - she LIKES him! All this and - what an omen! - Def Leppard on the radio. Ain't nothing could happen that will spoil this night. Thank you, God!

Which is when a panicked and bloodied Jimmy Nick steps screaming from the trees and throws himself in front of the car. The collision doesn't kill him which just about sums up his luck. Jeez, What's that horrible jelly thing encasing his hand? Look, you can see right through to the bone. It's dissolving his flesh!

Brian Flagg emerges from the woods and Paul automatically if obscurely lays the blame on him. Truth is, Brian, a good lad underneath his hoodlum leather jacket, has just prevented the old man hacking his own hand off at the wrist. Meg restores the peace and they bundle poor Jimmy into the car and head for the hospital.

Creepy and obnoxious he may be, but Scott is, as ever, fixed up nicely for the night. Somehow he's persuaded epic-bosomed Vicki Desoto to accompany him up to Lakey Ridge, Morgan's official hilltop lover's lane. It's all gone to plan. After sampling two of Scott's special cocktails, Vicki's already closing in on pass-out drunk and the back seat of his Impala '63 is plenty roomy.

Back at the Hospital, and if the Can Man was in a bad way on arrival, his condition has deteriorated something terrible. Wait 'til nurse pulls back the sheet!

After interviewing the two clean-cut kids, Sheriff Geller has all the hard evidence he needs to pin the murder on that Flagg misfit, even though Meg insists the kid had nothing to do with it. Poor girl must be in shock, or simple, or something. Geller sends his deputy to find the Brylcreemed lout and arrest him.

The Blob, meanwhile, having absorbed all the meat from the Can Man's bones, slithers out into the corridor hungry for more of same.

The best news is, nice Paul goes looking for it ....

[dem bones]

Not having seen the film - something tells me it's rubbish! - is clearly as an advantage as, to The Blob's great credit, we lose some high profile characters along with the obvious ciphers and you're never quite sure who will be eaten alive next - and it is all the fault of THEM. "We've known for years that conditions in space have a mutating effect on bacteria", brags Dr. Bruno Trumble, which is why, thirty years ago, a team of boffins launched their experimental virus into the stratosphere by rocker satellite. How wonderful that it should have returned to earth a predatory, plasmid monster - the Soviets won't know what's hit them! Of course, it's all very sad for the good citizens of Morgan, but they, alas, are expendable whereas the voracious slime is not. When the army locate the seething mass to the sewers, Trumble issues his command: kill all the teenagers, but the Blob much be taken unharmed!

While Meg is kept distressingly occupied by the Blob's tendency to squelch over anyone she likes, her little brother Kevin has snuck out to the local flea-pit to catch his very first slasher flick, The Garden Tool Murders. The slime, seeping through the cinema walls like a "wobbling, slow motion avalanche of dung," gives the audience plenty to scream about.

Flagg's still doing his mean and moody bit between heroics. Rebel he may be, but he can't stand by and let Trumble write off his community as collateral damage, even if they all hate him. He's like a youthful James Herbert male lead in many respects. Even preppy Meg - who has only just witnessed her boyfriend dissolve before her eyes and, prior to tonight, never gave bad boy Brian the time of day at school - finds the surly one strangely appealing.

Ending is a bit meh but otherwise not bad. Not bad at all.

[kooshmeister]

The book uses the evil scientist's original name, Dr. Bruno Trimble; he's named Dr. Meddows in the movie. This is a pretty decent read. I love the fact there's scenes from the blob's P.O.V. And the movie it's is quite good, if a little gory. They also changed the relationship between Eddie and Anthony - in the film, Anthony is Eddie's teenage older brother and works as an usher at the theater, and is able to sneak him and Kevin into an R-rated movie. In Bischoff's novelization, Anthony isn't related to Eddie at all and is the same age as him and Kevin. Weird.