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Post by dem on Feb 2, 2009 19:51:44 GMT
Another of the London Management crew who briefly shone and then seemingly vanished off the face of the earth, Barry Martin contributed a pair of very short stories to both #11 and #12 and that was the last we saw of him in the series. Perhaps there's a dungeon beneath Van Thal mansions where the skeletons of Pan Horror authors hang in rows chained to the wall like the forgotten prisoner? Anyway ....
Case Of Insanity: The narrator's wife, Clara, is always on at him for not providing her with a child when Margaret and Tom down the road already have two! "You bloody ponce! ... If you can't do right by me why don't you go out and get yourself some pretty, sweet queer to have your sex with? It would suit you down to the ground". Doesn't she know she's in a Barry Martin story? Narrator duly hacks her to pieces and stuffs her in a suitcase before an inopportune car accident settles his hash. Probably the best of Martin's Psycho rip-offs.
The Easiest Thing In The World: .... is murdering something smaller than you, and Baz has a plentiful supply of household pets to prove it. There must be a cheaper method of doing away with a goldfish than the one he adopts.
Laura: Touching tale of a drunk driver who loves his wife so much he'll never be parted from her. The story is essentially Jimmy Cross's notorious death disc I Want My Baby Back minus the Beatles concert and the "mutt-head on a motor-sickle". Nevertheless, if more people followed the narrator's sterling example, the divorce rate wouldn't be so high. I was gonna add this to the "If it ain't stiff ..." necrophilia thread, but it doesn't appear as though he actually gives her one. Neat story though.
In Mother's Loving Memory: Diary of a sweary psycho misogynist with a particular down on prostitutes as mother always impressed upon him how dirty and horrible sex is. This man is very handy with a tin opener. Don't take your stockings off when he's around.
And then - he was gone?
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