|
|
Post by dem on Sept 15, 2008 9:14:23 GMT
It's official! According to an an exhaustive online survey of 1000 people (believed to include M. Thatcher, Bucks Fizz, Norman Tebbit, the Anfield Kop, and a cabbage patch doll) the 'Eighties has been voted the coolest decade in the last fifty years by a staggering 41% of those questioned. Blimey! That The Eighties  OK, my little culture vultures! Let's start the week with a burst of nauseating nostalgia! The 'eighties: what was brilliant about them? If they had a fight with the noughties, who would win? OOH! I can just tell there's gonna be a huge response to this one! |
|
|
|
Post by sean on Sept 15, 2008 9:30:19 GMT
Well, it beat the 70s, as far as I can remember. Less power cuts and piles of garbage for starters!
Mainstream 80s 'culture' may have (on the whole) sucked in a big way, but fucking hell there was a lot else going on.
80's music... Big Black, Butthole surfers, CRASS were still going, anarchist punk band Conflict started up, Sisters of Mercy, Pixies (later in the decade), Dead Kennedys (okay their first lp was 79, but anyway), the mighty Half Man Half Biscuit formed and split for a while in case they got too famous, Tom Waits did that 'Swordfishtrombones' thing, The Birthday Party, Bad seeds, Fields of the Nephillim (arf), The Jesus and Mary Chain at their feedback drenched best, The Very Things, Zappa still alive and touring... hell, I could go on for ages
80s books... Iain Banks arrives with his gross but brilliant 'The Wasp Factory' and, a book or two later produces his best novel; 'The Bridge.... a run of classics by some bloke called Ramsey Campbell including the disconcerting 'Incarnate'... Stephen King also going great guns... the last of Philip K Dick's work sees the light of day (well, kind of his last work, other stuff has surfaced since) etc etc etc
|
|
|
|
Post by dem on Sept 15, 2008 9:45:16 GMT
Well argued points there, mr. penguin, but i'm not convinced ....
Of course there were some decent bits. Some. You only have to look at the cover of Witches 1: The Prisoner to see that. The Hamlyn Nasties and When Animals Attack! genre were tops, we all know that, but we paid for them tenfold with the worst excesses of Dark Fantasy or whatever you want to call it. Dexy's Searching For The Young Soul Rebels was ace but there had to be one top album in ten years! Same goes for the Birthday Party/ Nick Cave & Bad Seeds. Everything else was so bad we were entitled to a decent band or two. Brix joining the Fall and briefly subverting them into a spiky pop group was groovy, doubly so as some of my studiously glum friends HATED it and murmured darkly of "that girl" who ruined their nice miserable band! Also, you could drink in the street and on public transport without people giving you grief for it, and smoking was still mandatory upstairs on the bus. Goth and Psychobilly had their moments and having loads of girls coming on like a cross between the Bride of Morticia Adamms and Bettie Page was a big plus, no complaints about that. Adam and the Ants hit number one with the still magnificent Kings Of The Wild Frontier but that hardly compensated for New Romantic (and Adam embracing it), Blitz and all those wedge-head synth boys and girls making pronouncements along the lines of "I am an aesthetic terrorist", finding everywhere "so decadent, like pre-war Berlin", even if it was only Tring, and declaring themselves androgynous when everyone could tell they'd never had a shag anyway so it hardly mattered what sex they were.
So far, so the glass is VERY half empty.
Let's face it. Everything was awful. Everything. Hair was awful. Perms. The aforementioned wedges. Mullets. It got so out of hand even Lou Reed contrived to sport one - no wonder he did that anti-drug advert. Thatcher. Tories. Poll Tax. Falklands War. War on the Trade Unions. War on the Miners. Murdoch. The Sun at its absolute jingoistic worst. News International. War on printers. Sam Fox driven through the picket line in a tank - "only a bit of a giggle!" assured the huge breasted Touch Me songstress. The soulless croons and passion killing come ons of perma-grinning Stock, Aitken & Waterman prodigies everywhere. If not them then a Chas 'n Dave sing-a-long album on a tape loop in every pub. Ask the landlord politely if he would mind playing something else and you'd get Black Lace, as in the group, if you were really lucky, another blast of Stock, Aiken and Waterman torture if you weren't, until you kind of looked forward to him putting dear old Chas n' Dave back on again, Gord bless 'em and the Queen mum. Hooray Henries. Sloanies. Yuppie slime barbies. The Satanic reign of Cilla Black. Cliff Richards still on Radio 1 play-list, bubbly scouse chanteuse Sonja likewise. Radio 1. Football. League football is rotten. A small distraction from the Liverpool machine relentlessly stacking up trophies is provided by the bizarre fashion for skimpy dayglo shorts, the like of which would later prove so lucrative for the Cheeky Girls. Watch footage of England in action in the 1982 World Cup in Spain ("This time, more than any other time, this time/ We're going to find a way/ Find a way to get away/ This time, getting it all together/ We'll get it right/ This time, get it right/ This time ...") and it's like they'd just wandered onto the pitch via club bloody tropicana which admittedly, once Gazza had joined the squad, they most likely had, but this was around '82 and before he was even born probably. You see. Everything, even Kylie was too terrible for words in the eighties. And wasn't the National Lottery launched toward the end of the decade? Whenever it was, I remember the six months either side of it. You couldn't get a word of sense out of anyone.
|
|
|
|
Post by Craig Herbertson on Sept 15, 2008 9:56:22 GMT
The seventies were bad principally because of disco. people who didn't see that emerge from its cave are very lucky.
The 80's had some good points but I have some pictures of my self as a young fellow which are fairly convincing proof that there were one or two uncool people trying and failing to cope with them
|
|
|
|
Post by sean on Sept 15, 2008 10:02:29 GMT
I don't think I've ever worked out what Dark Fantasy is meant to be!
I can't argue with any of those points. Knew a few people myself who were a bit cross with the Fall at that era.
Oh, I think you forgot dayglo socks. And 'Choose Life' t-shirts (pre Trainspotting, irony free). And Frankie telling you to do this that or the other.
Falklands War, as you say, a minus... Crass released some of their most cutting music in that era - 'How Does it Feel to be the Mother of a Thousand Dead' and 'Gotcha' (about the Scum's infamous headline on the sinking of the Belgrano. Didn't acheive much more than get themselves in more trouble, though.
I dunno, though, I found the 90s (for example) to be a much blander and somehow more irritating decade, but maybe because I was well on my way to becoming a prematurely grumpy old bastard by then. But then again I was permanently shitfaced then so maybe I just forgot everything!
What I do detest about the 80's is the fact that it has led to so much 80s nostagia. Generally for the crappest bits of it, too.
|
|
|
|
Post by sean on Sept 15, 2008 10:13:38 GMT
The 80's had some good points but I have some pictures of my self as a young fellow which are fairly convincing proof that there were one or two uncool people trying and failing to cope with them Post 'em! Post 'em!!!! (oh, and apologies if I'm pratting about on the board a bit today, as I should be finishing packing for a house move tomorrow and I'm sick of boxes and bags, and I won't be on the net again for ages, I promise, and... and...) |
|
|
|
Post by Craig Herbertson on Sept 15, 2008 10:17:47 GMT
I've come to the conclusion that the only thing worth preserving from the eighties is exemplified by the flowing clip www.youtube.com/watch?v=UVudQYav54U&feature=relatedSPOILER WARNING Bennie Hill plus erotic dancing with virtually no choreography or clothes |
|
|
|
Post by Craig Herbertson on Sept 15, 2008 10:26:46 GMT
If you look under 'Androids' in the vaults search, you will see the single cool picture of my band from about 1979 - 1981. The rest Sean, might prove a terrible shock to your system.
Hope the move goes well although that's probably a contradiction in terms. Anyway, you know what I mean.
|
|
|
|
Post by dem on Sept 15, 2008 10:34:00 GMT
Oh, I think you forgot dayglo socks. And 'Choose Life' t-shirts (pre Trainspotting, irony free). And Frankie telling you to do this that or the other. HA! *all proud* I had one of those 'Choose Life' t-shirts, a nice pirate version picked up down the market (to go with my shiny black PVC trousers). Took a black magic marker, put a great big X through the 'Choose' and scrawled a nice bold 'Sucks' underneath the 'Life'! See, that was yet another crap thing about the 'eighties. My fabulous "sense of humour" wasn't any better. Also, the CHOOSE LIFE was in such big letters, there was hardly any room below it, so I had to wear the t-shirt outside me trousers at all times for people to see it, otherwise they'd think I was promoting 'LIFE' when only a feeb would do that - you only had to look at all the Persil white, shiny teeth Wham! clones to see that. Completely obscured my terrifying skull belt-buckle.  Dayglo socks were epic, but I always thought of them as a late 'seventies phenomenon. Tell you what else was good though. Skirts! Ra-ra's and those strange puffball ones! Plus pvc mini's from punk were still very much in evidence. I'm surprised nobody's mentioned how great Martian Dance were yet, but it's early days and I expect them to make a very strong showing soon. The 'nineties? I think they kind of struggled a bit to find their own identity. Probably because everyone was counting down to the millennium in the same way come the close of the 'seventies, everyone was counting down to 1984. |
|
|
|
Post by sean on Sept 15, 2008 10:58:34 GMT
Oh, I think you forgot dayglo socks. And 'Choose Life' t-shirts (pre Trainspotting, irony free). And Frankie telling you to do this that or the other. HA! *all proud* I had one of those 'Choose Life' t-shirts, a nice pirate version picked up down the market (to go with my shiny black PVC trousers). Took a black magic marker, put a great big X through the 'Choose' and scrawled a nice bold 'Sucks' underneath the 'Life'! See, that was yet another crap thing about the 'eighties. My fabulous "sense of humour" wasn't any better. Also, the CHOOSE LIFE was in such big letters, there was hardly any room below it, so I had to wear the t-shirt outside me trousers at all times for people to see it, otherwise they'd think I was promoting 'LIFE' when only a feeb would do that - you only had to look at all the Persil white, shiny teeth Wham! clones to see that. Completely obscured my terrifying skull belt-buckle. God, that sounds as bad as the bright yellow Bognor Regis T shirt (with palm tree motif, no less) which I adjusted by spraypainting 'Fuck' above the logo when I was a (supposed) student there. What a ray of sunshine I was. Craig - I'll take your word on the shock value of the other pics. Thanks for the wishes on the move. I've just packed up the kitchen... and I'm now hungry! |
|
|
|
Post by Craig Herbertson on Sept 15, 2008 11:21:57 GMT
Sean,
I think its enough to say that the wardrobe contained a pink glowing jumpsuit bought from the ladies section of wallis and it went well with blue hair.
I just wonder how I survived that decade. There must have been people queuing to beat me up.
|
|
|
|
Post by sean on Sept 15, 2008 11:48:37 GMT
Brave, brave man. I've worn some weird shit in my time, but never, ever a pink glowing jumpsuit.
|
|
|
|
Post by dem on Sept 15, 2008 12:08:32 GMT
Likewise, my admiration knows no bounds. And anyhow, a pink jumpsuit is way cooler than that nadir of 'eighties fashion, the SHELLSUIT (how could we have not yet mentioned that abomination!)
Had a brilliant silk scarf once. Light blue, screaming red tassels, the faces of every member of the Osmonds printed on in black. My friends used to beg me not to wear it when I went out with them! Or at least, I'm sure they would have if I had any.
|
|
|
|
Post by Craig Herbertson on Sept 15, 2008 13:13:44 GMT
I would definitely beg that you keep that scarf on Dem as at the time I might well have been wearing (and it hurts to state this publicly) one of those tops like those that David Bowie used to wear. Gold and red glittery stripes, cut diagonally with only one one long sleeve, needless to say, bought at Wallis. This was a poor enough fashion statement at the time - something akin to a statement of intent to commit suicide - but was a marked improvement on the bay city roller jersey I wore at the age of fourteen...
(i have to state in my defense that the Bay City rollers were a local band to me and we had never had anyone famous from Edinburgh before except good old Sean Connery)
|
|
|
|
Post by Jaqhama on Sept 16, 2008 12:48:52 GMT
The 70's must have been the best decade because Jon Pertwee was Dr. Who and went around Venusian karate chopping anyone and everyone. Roger Delgado played The Master and a cooler super villian there never was. Sarah Jane Smith screamed delightfully and the blokes from the Unit shot at, blew up and blasted anything that looked sideways at the Earth. The Daleks and the creatures of Peladon and the Sea Devils were rampaging left and right. All this only being equalled by the arrival of Tom Baker and the delectable, semi-clad Leela Now that was the 70's. But what about everything else that happened in the 70's and 80's? I'm not aware that anything else of importance did happen?  |
|
