Idle chatter

[sean]

This may sound weird, but in the past fortnight (since my recent and unexpected arrival in the world of the single parent) I have never seen so may people simply keeling over. Five so far. The best bit was when I saw two collapses in the space of fifteen hours. The first was odd... the people in the flats across the road are all being evicted (in a shadowy mirror-imagey Campbellian way, I've been given notice on this house as well...) and at around teatime I looked out the window and saw this bloke reeling round the car park. I guess he had something that didn't agree with him, 'cos he then fell over and didn't get up again until someone called an ambulance. He didn't want to go on a stretcher, either.

The next morning a shelf stacker at Morrisons keeled over a few metres away from me. Don't know what was up with him, but after he hit the floor he didn't move around much.

The most recent was yesterday, an old chap on the high street. Maybe its like global warming, this increase in the number of collapsing people...

Can you tell I'm bored?

[benedictjjones]

^Maybe you've got the touch of death!!! or a sniper with a supressed rifle is trying to pick you off and keeps missing!

i remember walking home from my mates house one night (about 2 in the morning) and saw a bloke in the distance (maybe 30 meters away) who suddenly went 'urggggh' clutched his temple and collapsed. i looked around for some one to help him and luckily a couple of people got there before me and a police car pulled up - aall very random!

[dem bones]

Sept 2, 2008 9:47:35 GMT @sean said:

.... The best bit was when I saw two collapses in the space of fifteen hours ....

As luck would have it, i'm just off to Sainsbury's so will report back on whether or not this exciting collapsing person epidemic has reached these parts. Do you have to see the person fall for it to count or can they be already sprawled out on the deck?

[sean]

Well, you get extra points for seeing someone actually hitting the deck, but an already prone figure still counts...

Benedict, I wondered what that guy with the blowpipe was up to!

[Craig Herbertson]

Sean,

I nearly collapsed on Saturday.

But that was Guinness I think.

Title for your next story

The Collapsing Man.

[carolinec]

Oh dear, this reminds me of when I was very young (still at infants school, so around 6 or 7 probably). All the parents were waiting in the school yard to collect their kids and it was quite crowded. Just as I was meeting my mum, we saw a man keel over. From where I was, it looked like a lady had run him over with a pram! So, of course, little me pipes up in a loud voice with: "Mum, why did that lady run the man over with the pram?" I always asked a lot of silly questions!

Not at all funny though, as I heard my parents saying afterwards that they'd read in the paper he'd had a heart attack and died. I was quite upset as it was the first time I'd witnessed death close up (it also made me slightly wary of women with prams coming towards me!).

I did once keel over myself in the Co-op when I was a little poorly. I was really embarrassed!

[dem bones]

No joy en route to Sainsbury's, i'm afraid although as I was passing the idea's store somebody inside let out a big 'aaargh!' - that might signal the first wave of attacks in the South East. I was thinking to scatter some squishy grapes on the floor of Iceland tomorrow, kind of help things along but I thought I'd best ask first. It might be seen as cheating and I wouldn't want that.

[Craig Herbertson]

This is going to sound a bit silly but I just realized that someone keeled over at an event I was attending in Haltern am See, Germany - had to be stretchered out by the paramedics. This happened last Sunday.

The prognosis-whatever it is has international if not global implications

[sean]

Its the end of the world as we know it... no-one is safe!