Theresa Derwin - Seasons Creepings

[dem bones]

Theresa Derwin - Seasons Creepings (KnightWatch Press, 2015)

Stephen Cooney

Theresa Derwin - Foreword

Fifty Hades of Grey
Twas the Night (verse)
The Red Queen
Night of the Living Dead Turkey: Death from Beyond the Gravy
Last Christmas
A Contemporary Christmas Carol

About the Author
About the Artist

Blurb:
'Twas the night before Christmas - and all you could hear was screams. Whether of fear or laughter, that's up to you. In this short collection of twisted tales, Theresa Derwin combines poetry, vignettes, letters, and short stories to spread the season of goodwill.
From an adults-only Christmas toy that isn't quite what it seems, to a Victorian Christmas 'romance' with a difference, zombie turkeys and a Christmas meal that might just make your stomach turn, this collection is a festive feast of fear and fun.
So step in out of the cold.
And enjoy.

64-page booklet from editor of Killer Bees From Outer Space among others. Flash horror comedies, for most part.

Fifty Hades of Grey: Angie buys her three best mates a novelty sex toy for Christmas; the Grow-your-own-Mr.Grey. Just lay him in the bath, add water and — instant demon lover.

Twas the Night: Indignant contemporary reworking of A Visit from St. Nicholas.

The Red Queen: A theatre in London's East End, winter 1843. Charles Dickens is vamped by a stunningly attractive redhead in the audience. Liz Barton cures his writer's block, sets him on the way to immortality, at least until she tires of his writing.

Night of the Living Dead Turkey: Death from Beyond the Gravy: Vengeful undead Christmas bird bites Mrs. Khan and her next door neighbour to initiate the Zombie apocalypse.

Last Christmas: In keeping with the season, budding masterchef Brett invites his ex's new bloke around for a slap-up Christmas dinner. He'd have asked Angie, too, but she's gone missing.

A Contemporary Christmas Carol: 170 plus years on from that fateful Christmas Eve, Scrooge still nurses the bloodiest murderous grievances toward Dickens, Jacob Marley, Tiny fucking Tim and all the other snivelling bastards who ruined his life.