Prisoners of the Lost Universe

[Craig Herbertson]

Think I may well be the only one here sad enough to have created a thread on this tarnished gem:

It's 1983, given away by Carrie Madison's hairstyle and Richard Hatch's lumberjack shirt. Carrie plays a TV personality off to visit scientist, Dr. Hartmann for a scoop. On the way she gets into a car accident with electrician, Dan. Dan's car is finished off by an earth tremor while, by pure mischance, Dr Hartman falls into his teleporter. Dan arrives looking for help and, god forbid, by a spot of utterly incredible bad luck he and Carrie both fall into the teleporter. Carrie then finds herself alone in what appears to be a prehistoric world in a parallel universe. The place is called Vonya (but you needn't put it in your visiting bucket list).

This film, in which you could imagine the director's five year old son crayoning out the script, has virtually none of the required elements to make it a success in any but vaultofevil terms. Picture a giant fat cave man with a big club who appears at every possible crisis, spacemen types with huge red eyes who appear once for no apparent reason, a green man who looks like a butch Elrond and a midget thief with a curly beard who apparently provides the humorous interludes.

John Saxon stars as the megalomaniac Warlord, a half price Sean Connery echoing Zardoz. You can imagine Saxon (who almost destroys the film by acting)telephoning Sean
'You know that absolutely brutal film Zardoz you got talked into which you thought might wreck your career...'

The story plays out in descending spirals of inanity, edited with sellotape by some poor technician who probably couldn't stop laughing. However, it was all strangely watchable even if the girls were sadly overdressed.

Terry Marcel is the criminal who concocted the original story and screenplay, Harry Robertson was his accomplice.

[ripper]

Craig, I haven't seen Prisoners of the Lost Universe', but I have read various reviews of it on online bad movie sites that say it is a real stinker. It sometimes turns up on those cheap dvd collections, you know the type...50 Sci-Fi Movies or similar, along with other dubious offerings like 'Robot Monster' etc.

[Jojo Lapin X]

You can watch the whole thing on YouTube. Using special techniques I have developed, I did it in five minutes.