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Joke
Nov 10, 2007 11:41:04 GMT
Post by sean on Nov 10, 2007 11:41:04 GMT
An ugly man walks into his local pub with a big grin on his face.
"What are you so happy about?" Asked the bartender.
"Well, I'll tell you," replies the ugly man. "You know I live by the railway. Well, on my way home last night, I noticed a young woman tied to the tracks, like in the movies. I, of course, went and cut her free and took her back to my place. Anyway, to make a long story short, I scored big time! We had sex all night, all over the house. We did everything, me on top, sometimes her on top, every position imaginable!"
"Fantastic!" exclaimed the bartender. "You lucky bastard. Was she pretty?"
"Dunno'...Never found the head."
(Amazing what turns up in Myspace bulletins sometimes...Anyway, I got a giggle out of it)
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Joke
Nov 10, 2007 11:51:03 GMT
Post by David A. Riley on Nov 10, 2007 11:51:03 GMT
Pan might have published that thirty years ago.
Wicked!
David
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Joke
Nov 10, 2007 11:57:01 GMT
Post by dem bones on Nov 10, 2007 11:57:01 GMT
And don't forget .... Charles W. Goddard - The Perils Of Pauline (Hard Press, 2006: originally ?) Rocco sullenly helped the others in the grim task. The trunk, large as it was, was not deep enough to permit Pauline a sitting posture, nor long enough to prevent the painful cramping of her limbs. But she was deadened to physical pain. With the words of her doom still ringing in her ears--the calm discussion of her death--her terror was her torture. The choking gag, the cutting bonds, the stifling trunk--in which the knife of Wrentz had cut but a few air holes--these were as nothing to the agony of her spirit--the agony of a lingering journey toward a certain but mysterious end.
Pauline had been a prisoner before, had been through many and desperate dangers, but her heart had never failed her utterly until she felt the pressure of the trunk lid on her bent shoulders and heard the clamping of the locks that bound her in. I was delighted to find this as a free download at Project Gutenberg, especially as I didn't even know of its existence. The Perils Of Pauline (1914) was a was a top damsel in distress feature that ran for twenty short episodes starring Pearl White as the much put-upon but resourceful heroine who narrowly survived death by buzz-saw, oncoming train, balloon-crash , drowning, etc., etc., before eventually claiming her inheritance. I've never seen it but from what I've read it is the epitome of "with one bound she was free!" melodrama and hopefully this novelisation (?) will be equally improbable. If you find it as off-putting reading off screen as I do, and you've money to burn, Hard Press have seized on its public domain status and brought out a hardcover version. The screen-grabs on this page are from the much later The Perils Of Pauline (1947), a Pearl White biopic (of sorts) starring Betty Hutton. But I'm sure you'll agree, they're better than nothing. You can download the short video clip they've been surgically removed from at Dr. Macro. * I know, I know. Talk about "any old excuse to recycle my dubious wares ...." *
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Joke
Nov 21, 2007 20:24:52 GMT
Post by Craig Herbertson on Nov 21, 2007 20:24:52 GMT
Looks good. I vaguely remember it from somewhere, perhaps even my older brother's vivid imagination. Is there just a faint possibility that there was a certain sexual element to her escapades. Or is it just me...
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Joke
Nov 21, 2007 22:18:18 GMT
Post by dem bones on Nov 21, 2007 22:18:18 GMT
Well, there's a certain 'damsels in distress' page I hit when I was looking for info on the film (true!) that certainly bears you out .....
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Joke
Apr 1, 2009 19:00:24 GMT
Post by lobolover on Apr 1, 2009 19:00:24 GMT
And don't forget .... Charles W. Goddard - The Perils Of Pauline (Hard Press, 2006: originally ?) Rocco sullenly helped the others in the grim task. The trunk, large as it was, was not deep enough to permit Pauline a sitting posture, nor long enough to prevent the painful cramping of her limbs. But she was deadened to physical pain. With the words of her doom still ringing in her ears--the calm discussion of her death--her terror was her torture. The choking gag, the cutting bonds, the stifling trunk--in which the knife of Wrentz had cut but a few air holes--these were as nothing to the agony of her spirit--the agony of a lingering journey toward a certain but mysterious end.
Pauline had been a prisoner before, had been through many and desperate dangers, but her heart had never failed her utterly until she felt the pressure of the trunk lid on her bent shoulders and heard the clamping of the locks that bound her in. I was delighted to find this as a free download at Project Gutenberg, especially as I didn't even know of its existence. The Perils Of Pauline (1914) was a was a top damsel in distress feature that ran for twenty short episodes starring Pearl White as the much put-upon but resourceful heroine who narrowly survived death by buzz-saw, oncoming train, balloon-crash , drowning, etc., etc., before eventually claiming her inheritance. I've never seen it but from what I've read it is the epitome of "with one bound she was free!" melodrama and hopefully this novelisation (?) will be equally improbable. If you find it as off-putting reading off screen as I do, and you've money to burn, Hard Press have seized on its public domain status and brought out a hardcover version. The screen-grabs on this page are from the much later The Perils Of Pauline (1947), a Pearl White biopic (of sorts) starring Betty Hutton. But I'm sure you'll agree, they're better than nothing. You can download the short video clip they've been surgically removed from at Dr. Macro. * I know, I know. Talk about "any old excuse to recycle my dubious wares ...." * Ah, I thought such a concept was to original to come from Hanna Barbera ! So , Penelopy Pitstop was inspired by this aye? Does the original feature miniature mugs as well ?
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