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Post by dem bones on Mar 16, 2008 21:28:02 GMT
'John Sayles' - Piranha (Nel, Oct. 1978, Dec. 1978) It credits John Sayles on the cover and spine, but inside it warns: This novelisation by Leo CallanThe blurb: They came downriver in their thousands. Their teeth could strip a living man to the bone in seconds.
Their hunger for flesh was insatiable and their vicious attacks had already left a trail of carnage and mutilation in their wake.
As the waters flowed, so the deadly fish went with them, ever nearer, nearer to the unsuspecting Lost River holiday Camp. Children bathed, couples lingered in the shallows, water-skiers sped unknowingly towards the horror that was surging towards them ...
And for the piranha, it was feeding time. Just hit chapter six and the mutant piranha have already made quite a mess, starting with a pair of backpackers who decide to go skinny dipping in a private pool at midnight despite the sign warning 'US Army Test Site. Authorised Personnel Only.' Dr. Hoak, who invented them, has just admitted that they're not normal killer fish but an entirely new species, Sarrasalmus Mutandis. *** Maggie "Oh My God!" McKeown sets out to find the missing kids (its her job) and calls at the cabin of misanthropic Paul Grogan, recently divorced and permanently pissed. Somehow she convinces him to drive with her to the Army base without even offering him 25p toward his next can. They're attacked by a stranger just as they've begun draining the pool but easily overpower him and tie him up for questioning. He is Dr. Robert Hoak. The Government paid him a bundle to work on 'Project Razorteeth' because they were planning to unleash the super-Pirahna into the North Vietnamese river system! Now the war is over, he's been left to continue his work because you never know who the US will wage war on next and it's best to be prepared. The Razorteeth are two feet long (approx.), brainy and ultra-fangy, and they got that way through "genetics, radiation, behaviour modification, selective breeding - you name it." And Maggie and Paul have stupidly released them into the water supply! And all the little kids - including Paul's daughter, Susie - are taking part in some kind of gala thing at the Lost River Holiday Camp! And it's about to start ... right now! This is all very well, but, as mentioned, Paul is on a downer against mankind, so why should he care? Fortunately, he has two almost-friends - a pissed-up old backwoods bum named Jack and his ancient mutt, Brandy - so when he discovers Jack cut down to stumps and Brandy barking at the culprits, he sobers up and becomes a man again. Hoak likewise redeems himself by sacrificing himself to save a boy who has just watched his Pop get eaten alive, and for a moment it seems it will all be a big letdown and the piranha won't get at the kids. Luckily for us, Camp Owner Mr. Gardner and his henchman Colonel Flaxman - who was in on the Razorteeth project and has secretly bought shares in the Lost River Camp - have Paul and Maggie thrown into jail before people start listening to their mean-spirited and alarmist moaning. As the days first race gets underway, the killer fish advance. f**k**g blood and guts everywhere! I guess this could have been included under "Book Of The Film" (or ade's "Gaping Maw Gallery") with equal justification. It runs for 143 pages, but you can drop at least twenty from the total as they're either blank or given over entirely to chapter headings and what looks like a photocopy of the cover image. I've just worked out who Barbara Steele played in the movie: Dr. Florence Mengers, a marine biologist croney of the Colonel's. She had so little to do in the book I didn't even mention her character once. One thing about Piranha, it's made me want to see the film again, if only to check how Religiously Mr. Callan stuck to the script. My first guess was 'like a limpet', but would any director waste Barbara Steele on a fairly peripheral character? And how about one of the villains getting chewed when he tries to escape in his rubber dingy? Am I thinking of another film entirely? So many questions for such a small mind. File under: Exploitation and then some. Franklin MarshDoes he describe that top notch scene where Keenan Wynn get the flesh stripped from the bones of his legs - from the knee down? Some of the victims were well gory in the Camp massacre weren't they? I've never seen Piranha II - Flying Killers but it's place in history is (or was) assured because James Cameron directed it. When he was in full King Of The World! Titanic mode I think British TV kept showing this early example of his directorial technique but it seems to have disappeared now. Shame! Pity there's no novelisation either. KillercrabI have this book - very in-you-face cover - you know how I like those ! Never read it though. Have seen the film - like it lots - there is a sequel PIRANHA: Flying Hell or Flying Terror or FLYING F***INGSOMETHING OR OTHER - supposed to be a lark which is what these books/films are all about right? Another film recommendation - BLOOD SURF about a giant saltwater croc eating surfers .. doesn't get any better. *** Ha ha ( feeble laugh !) - just had a look - talk about *padding* a book out - that's pathetic ! I'm thinking of securing a copy of FLESHBAIT soon - Steve put up a cover here awhile back and I like the sound of homicidal Herring or carnivorous Cod or whatever. We all know though that DEVOUR and THE PIKE are where it's at for fish on the rampage books... KC
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Post by dem bones on Aug 20, 2010 22:16:18 GMT
Now that this is upon us, it's to be hoped that Hachette (or whoever now own the rights to the NEL's) republish Leo Callan novelisation of the original to commemorate the event. Of all the NEL's, Eat Them Alive is still way out on its own as the most lunatic horror novel i have ever read, but Leo Callan's endearingly ridiculous Piranha has to be the best about the US Government breeding a mutant strain of super-piranha to assist the war effort in 'Nam. It's a damn shame that Callan doesn't seem to have written anything else in the genre. Steve mentioned on Vault Mk I that he was responsible for three slavers, and a quick google reveals that at least one made the roll of shame in Marcus Wood's Slavery, Empathy & Pornography (Oxford University Press, 2002). "Proof that soft-core plantation porn is totally acceptable is George MacDonald Fraser's Flash For Freedom ... Voodoo is also fed into the pornographic package: a spectacularly bad example is Leo Callan, Black Sapphire (NEL, 1980)." As to 3D, the review in today's Mirror suggests that it is played for equal parts screams, laughs, lost bikini tops and "inventive deaths", so no huge departure from the original there, though i guess its too much to hope it can possibly match it?
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Post by andydecker on Aug 21, 2010 9:54:07 GMT
As to 3D, the review in today's Mirror suggests that it is played for equal parts screams, laughs, lost bikini tops and "inventive deaths", so no huge departure from the original there, though i guess its too much to hope it can possibly match it? I saw a bit of the trailer on the net, and as far as exploitation goes this is a new high (or low) . Not that the death by cable was new - it was more innovative in Ghost Ship - but in combination with the exploitation it was nasty. Feminists gonna like it The fish looked fake, though.
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Post by franklinmarsh on Aug 21, 2010 14:02:48 GMT
Hee! Watched Joe Dante's original again recently and it still stands up.
"The piranhas, Sir..."
"What about the Goddam piranhas?"
"They're eating the guests..."
or the brilliant "We'll pollute the bastards to death!" - fantastic - the 'good' guys are the eejits that release the fish out into the wide world and then destroy them by legitimately polluting beautiful American backwaters.
Since the above was written I have seen Piranha 2 : Flying Killers and it's superb - ten times more bonkers than the first.
I must say the new 'un looks pretty hokey, but that might not be a bad thing. In 3D.
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Post by Johnlprobert on Aug 21, 2010 15:39:46 GMT
We're off to watch the remake sometime this weekend!
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Post by Johnlprobert on Aug 22, 2010 21:06:08 GMT
We've just seen Piranha 3D and had an absolute blast with it.
In its slight 85 minute running time there is more blood spurted and more breasts wobbled right in your face in 3D than any film I have ever seen.
Highly recommended on a Vault double bill with Human Centipede as an abject lesson in how to do exploitation right
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Post by dem bones on Aug 23, 2010 18:29:50 GMT
more breasts wobbled right in your face in 3D than any film I have ever seen. Highly recommended on a Vault double bill with Human Centipede as an abject lesson in how to do exploitation right If ever there was a more delightful pair of beauties to satisfy even the notoriously demanding Vault globeswatch contingent then i'd like to meet them. incidentally, what with this, Human Centipede, Suster's Black Pearl and The Devil's Swishes, we've not seen a perve out like the past seven days for ages! I dunno. It .... it just makes you feel proud sometimes ...
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Post by killercrab on Aug 24, 2010 2:02:07 GMT
You're depraved Probert - good man. I'd love to catch Piranha 3D but it's the school holidays and my sons are just to young !
KC
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Post by Dr Strange on Aug 25, 2010 7:46:23 GMT
If ever there was a more delightful pair of beauties to satisfy even the notoriously demanding Vault globeswatch contingent then i'd like to meet them. incidentally, what with this, Human Centipede, Suster's Black Pearl and The Devil's Swishes, we've not seen a perve out like the past seven days for ages! I dunno. It .... it just makes you feel proud sometimes ... Yeah but next up on the agenda is "Modernist symbolism in the ghost stories of Henry James", isn't it?
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Post by dem bones on Aug 25, 2010 9:37:13 GMT
Haven't we done that one? oh no, sorry, i'm thinking of funky's comprehensive guide to Sex In (Guy N.) Smithland. There i go, getting all confused again.
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Post by erebus on May 9, 2012 12:26:31 GMT
Not a reply for the book . Just to say the silly sounding sequel hits the big screens in a week or so. PIRANHA 3DD. Sheesh ! This time they attack a water theme park. Starring ( wait for it ) David Hasslehoff or is that asshole-hoff.
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Post by markewest on Jul 12, 2021 9:16:45 GMT
Very late to the party with this one, started reading last night and it's already made me want to re-watch the film!
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