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Post by ripper on Jul 9, 2021 13:09:56 GMT
This is our library gathered together by many wicked ancestors: Here is the Royal Librarian who looks after it, the books in it are rather odd, as she has strange taste. We have one about a talking mongoose: We have a very good writer in residence, but I often can't see him when I'm browsing the volumes, as he is hidden away in a corner somewhere gathering dust. Here he is: Would your talking mongoose go by the name of Gef?
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Post by šrincess šµuvstarr on Jul 9, 2021 13:40:35 GMT
Here is the Royal Librarian who looks after it, the books in it are rather odd, as she has strange taste. We have one about a talking mongoose: Would your talking mongoose go by the name of Gef? Actually not only do we have a book about him, but he lives here! Here is the book: And here he is giving his predictions for England's chances in the Euro Championship! He likes the legs on the Number Nine (Whoever he is).
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Post by ripper on Jul 9, 2021 14:06:28 GMT
Would your talking mongoose go by the name of Gef? Actually not only do we have a book about him, but he lives here! Here is the book: And here he is giving his predictions for England's chances in the Euro Championship! He likes the legs on the Number Nine (Whoever he is). No. 9? That would be Harry Kane. He's doing well for his age is Gef, the clean, crisp air of your country must agree with him. By the way, I was rather worried when you said you dangle your hair out of your window in the hope that a worthy prince would climb it. I hope that you make sure he has received the proper training for such a feat and has filled out the correct risk assessment and submitted it in the proper manner. There is too much of any old prince climbing up the hair of princesses and coming a cropper in this day and age.
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Post by šrincess šµuvstarr on Jul 9, 2021 14:09:17 GMT
By the way, I was rather worried when you said you dangle your hair out of your window in the hope that a worthy prince would climb it. I hope that you make sure he has received the proper training for such a feat and has filled out the correct risk assessment and submitted it in the proper manner. There is too much of any old prince climbing up the hair of princesses and coming a cropper in this day and age. Fortunately here in Grand Fenwick we don't bother with any of that newfangled safety stuff. It's good old fashioned stupidity every time here.
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Post by šrincess šµuvstarr on Jul 9, 2021 18:47:35 GMT
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Post by ripper on Jul 9, 2021 19:17:53 GMT
Does he ever pine for New Delhi or the Isle of Man, and did he get on with Harry Price?
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Post by šrincess šµuvstarr on Jul 9, 2021 19:38:23 GMT
Does he ever pine for New Delhi or the Isle of Man, and did he get on with Harry Price? You will have to ask Swampirella. He is often found in the library, he keeps the mice off the books.
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Post by Swan on Jul 9, 2021 23:02:47 GMT
This man has been sighted in the castle regularly, but I have no idea who he is: I don't even get a job.
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Post by šrincess šµuvstarr on Jul 10, 2021 13:21:20 GMT
This man has been sighted in the castle regularly, but I have no idea who he is: I don't even get a job.
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Post by šrincess šµuvstarr on Jul 11, 2021 9:38:09 GMT
I thought of a better job for Swan, so I need a new Court Jester. I've just the man! Please supply jester jokes that aren't at my expense as the mood takes you my funny jester man!
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Post by šrincess šµuvstarr on Jul 11, 2021 10:09:05 GMT
I decided Swan was unsuitable as Court Jester when a far funnier one is available, so I've found him a much more suitable job. Court Storyteller. Every night, in the Great Hall of Castle Tuvstarr, as the wind whistles outside, coming down off Grand Fenwick's old mountains, and Gef, the talking mongoose, chases the ghosts in the nooks and crannies, he settles down in front of a great roaring fire, that burns in an even greater fireplace, an ancient thing with the coats of arms of my many wicked ancestors carved in its mantle, to tell us tales in Anglo-Saxon of the mighty heroes of days gone by! When I say us, I don't mean me. Naturally I'm tucked away, locked up in bed in my tower, safe from the wicked men who are abroad in the night. Me in bed. Just outside my chained and bolted oaken door, my champion, Dr Strange sleeps, rapier in hand, ready to repel all boarders, should any wicked men approach! Unfortunately all the men in the castle are in bed too, for they must be up early to work the next day. Which means the only audience for Swan's long dull, I mean exciting Anglo-Saxon epic poems about Beowulf is Swampirella. Have fun!
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Post by Swampirella on Jul 11, 2021 12:03:50 GMT
I decided Swan was unsuitable as Court Jester when a far funnier one is available, so I've found him a much more suitable job. Court Storyteller. Every night, in the Great Hall of Castle Tuvstarr, as the wind whistles outside, coming down off Grand Fenwick's old mountains, and Gef, the talking mongoose, chases the ghosts in the nooks and crannies, he settles down in front of a great roaring fire, that burns in an even greater fireplace, an ancient thing with the coats of arms of my many wicked ancestors carved in its mantle, to tell us tales in Anglo-Saxon of the mighty heroes of days gone by! When I say us, I don't mean me. Naturally I'm tucked away, locked up in bed in my tower, safe from the wicked men who are abroad in the night. Me in bed. Just outside my chained and bolted oaken door, my champion, Dr Strange sleeps, rapier in hand, ready to repel all boarders, should any wicked men approach! Unfortunately all the men in the castle are in bed too, for they must be up early to work the next day. Which means the only audience for Swan's long dull, I mean exciting Anglo-Saxon epic poems about Beowulf is Swampirella. Have fun! Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz......What? Oh, sorry, I must have dozed off....
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Post by Swan on Jul 11, 2021 12:37:48 GMT
I decided Swan was unsuitable as Court Jester when a far funnier one is available Phew! Those tights were itchy.
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Post by Swan on Jul 11, 2021 14:14:57 GMT
Which means the only audience for Swan's long dull, I mean exciting Anglo-Saxon epic poems about Beowulf is Swampirella. Have fun! Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz......What? Oh, sorry, I must have dozed off.... A Swamp Lady, a Roaring Fire, and a Talking Mongoose, as the Cimmerians say, What Could be Better in Life? By Woden! Already I Feel the Stirrings of a Five Hour Long epic about Grendel, Leaping like Wayland's-Fire-Sparks in me! Ready the Mead-Horn, Proud Lady of the Mist and Mire, for I've a Tale to Tell! HWAET!
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Post by šrincess šµuvstarr on Jul 11, 2021 15:34:41 GMT
More jobs for jamesdoig, andydecker, and Craig Herbertson soon!
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