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Post by dem bones on Jun 11, 2021 10:19:58 GMT
By popular demand, nobody wants it, flatline time, etc Usual big questions. Which will be the group of draws? What will be the dirtiest match? Who will be the most boring team? Surprise package? First team to go out? Best foul. Laughable dive. Most hissable panto villain. Hideous kit. Top fans. Etc, etc. First round of games: Today: Friday June 11Group A: Turkey V ItalySaturday June 12Group A: Wales V SwitzerlandGroup B: Denmark V FinlandGroup B: Belgium V RussiaSunday June 13Group C: Austria V N. MacedoniaGroup C: Holland V UkraineGroup D: England V CroatiaMonday June 14Group D: Scotland V Czech RepublicGroup E: Poland V SlovakiaGroup E: Spain V SwedenTuesday June 15Group F: Hungary V PortugalGroup F: France V Germany
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Post by 𝘗rincess 𝘵uvstarr on Jun 11, 2021 12:18:48 GMT
THE EURO 2020 SOCCAR AWARDS
I have decided to contribute to this thread, despite being ignorant of the "Beautiful Game" and preferring to watch strong, big men wrestle on the Rugger pitch. Therefore I have created some awards to be given out at the end of play. Getting the wicked bit over first we have: The Willie Shoemaker Award for Most Awful Human Being on Earth. Willie Shoemaker was a German goalkeeper and FOOTBALL THUG who committed a horrendous tackle on a harmless Frenchman in the 1982 World Cup of Football. This award is for the WORST THUG OF THE TOURNAMENT. I'm sure their will be lots of contenders. Now onto the Best Awards! Ian St. John was Scotland's Second Greatest Ever Player (see below). The "Saint" could trap "the ball further" than Jimmy Greaves could shoot. Which was impressive, as Greaves could shoot further than any man ever has or could again. This award is for the BEST TRAPPING OF THE BALL OF THE TOURNAMENT. Archie Gemmel Award for Best Wondergoal. Archie Gemmel was a "little terrier of a player" who would "walk into any Premier League team today" He was Britain's Second Greatest Ever Player (see below) which is no mean achievement. Not content with that, Archie scored the Greatest Goal in Human History: The Archie Gemmel Wonder Goal! This award is for THE GREATEST GOAL OF THE TOURNAMENT. Georgie Best would also "walk into any Premier League team today." He was Britain's Greatest Ever Player, which means the World, and put the Great into Great Britain on the football field. As well as walking into any side, he would stagger into any bar. He was from Northern Ireland, and was known as "The Fifth Beatle" by those in the know. He has a fitting name for being so great, and for this award which is for THE BEST PLAYER OF THE TOURNAMENT. Jimmy Greaves Award for Best Facial Hair. Jimmy "Grievsie" Greaves was a Great Forward for England back in the day. He was Britain's Fourth Greatest Player (see all of above) And although no one has said it (Ripper) I am convinced he would walk into any Premier League team today. After he retired from football he grew a moustache. In tribute (I can't think of any other award categories) we have named this award after him. BEST FACIAL HAIR OF TOURNAMENT. These four men, or should I say demigods, are Great Britain's GREATEST EVER PLAYERS, and naturally this means the World too, and we celebrate their mighty deeds with a bladder with these awards. No Welshmen are here, alas, but perhaps it is Their Time Now! Also, these wonderfully voiced men of the valleys are All MAN! and so like their Rugby Union better than soccar, and naturally a Welshman, the astonishing Barry John was the GREATEST RUGBY UNION PLAYER OF ALL TIME. Final award to be chosen by helrunar: The HELRUNAR AWARD FOR BEST LEGS OF THE TOURNAMENT. Please leave photographs of contenders in the feed below so helrunar can judge this important award. (I'm not sure how much feedback on this we will get)
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Post by PeterC on Jun 11, 2021 13:27:20 GMT
'a harmless Frenchman' - come, come now: has there ever really been such a thing?
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Post by dem bones on Jun 11, 2021 14:39:16 GMT
*sigh* Willie Shoemaker. What a formidable opponent he was!
A tactical masterclass from our midfield supremo, princesstuvstarr, ahead of this evening's difficult-to-call opening fixture. The Italians will be desperate to put their 2018 World Cup woes behind them, but the Turks - who beat and drew with world champions France in qualifying - are no mugs at this level. Expect a cagey kick off, after which anything could happen ...
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Post by 𝘗rincess 𝘵uvstarr on Jun 11, 2021 17:10:38 GMT
Britain invented football, so I'm sure our boys will do us proud and be successful on the pitch! Remember we have already achieved getting three countries to the finals, which is some doing, no other country has achieved this milestone! All we need to do is avoid penalty shoot outs and there will be no stopping us!
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Post by ripper on Jun 11, 2021 19:10:49 GMT
Britain invented football, so I'm sure our boys will do us proud and be successful on the pitch! Remember we have already achieved getting three countries to the finals, which is some doing, no other country has achieved this milestone! All we need to do is avoid penalty shoot outs and there will be no stopping us! ....and heaven forbid if it does come to a penalty shoot-out, don't let a certain J. Henderson take the ball from you when you are preparing to take a penalty.
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Post by ohthehorror on Jun 11, 2021 19:13:22 GMT
I sometimes wish I liked football. My brother's mad about it, West Ham being his team since he was born round the corner in East Ham. I feel like I'm missing out. My sister loves it too these days. I can happily watch a rugby match, but football's just evaded me.
Any tips for forcing myself to like it?
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Post by 𝘗rincess 𝘵uvstarr on Jun 11, 2021 19:15:55 GMT
I sometimes wish I liked football. My brother's mad about it, West Ham being his team since he was born round the corner in East Ham. I feel like I'm missing out. My sister loves it too these days. I can happily watch a rugby match, but football's just evaded me. Any tips for forcing myself to like it? No. Rugby is better.
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Post by 𝘗rincess 𝘵uvstarr on Jun 11, 2021 19:19:13 GMT
Britain invented football, so I'm sure our boys will do us proud and be successful on the pitch! Remember we have already achieved getting three countries to the finals, which is some doing, no other country has achieved this milestone! All we need to do is avoid penalty shoot outs and there will be no stopping us! ....and heaven forbid if it does come to a penalty shoot-out, don't let a certain J. Henderson take the ball from you when you are preparing to take a penalty. I don't know who J. Henderson is, but I will tick like anyway. Edit to say a search shows that J. Henderson is no Archie Gemmel. Avoid letting this man take penalties!
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Post by 𝘗rincess 𝘵uvstarr on Jun 11, 2021 19:34:05 GMT
I have been told England have a poor defence. Is this true?
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Post by ripper on Jun 11, 2021 19:55:40 GMT
I have been told England have a poor defence. Is this true? It is certainly true that they have had better defenders over the years. Currently, defence is probably the area on the pitch that gives manager Gareth Southgate the biggest headache. There has been a bit of drama over whether defender Harry Maguire would recover from an injury and would play. It's fair to say that if he's fit, Southgate will pick him, maybe with Tyrone Mings alongside him and Kyle Walker being another in the back 4, assuming Southgate does, indeed, play with 4 defenders, but they will all have to be at the top of their game.
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Post by dem bones on Jun 12, 2021 8:52:25 GMT
Britain invented football, so I'm sure our boys will do us proud and be successful on the pitch! Remember we have already achieved getting three countries to the finals, which is some doing, no other country has achieved this milestone! All we need to do is avoid penalty shoot outs and there will be no stopping us! It fair moistens the eye to read such stirring words from the princess ahead of a crucial three days for the home nations. Italy 3 v Turkey 0. As anticipated, the opening five seconds ended honours even, each side cancelled out the other, after which Italy simply steamrolled the Turks for rest of game in a feast of attractive attacking football! Only a combination of fine saves and the Azzurri's dreadful finishing prevented a rout. Turks unquestionably more of a force when they've home 'Welcome to Hell' advantage. Nice to see the match ball receive VIP treatment - serenaded by Andrea Bocellia, driven onto pitch in remote-controlled car, half time champers and canapes in the executive boardroom, after-match shower with Roberto Mancini, etc. Today's action! Group A: Wales V Switzerland. The Welsh probably encouraged by last night's result, but I still think they will do well to survive a horrible group. Group B: Denmark V Finland. Can Finland be this tournament's Iceland? Will their fans be as brilliant and scary? Do they have an equivalent of the thunder clap and the crab dance when they score? Group B: Belgium V Russia. Are Belgium still #1 in FIFA rankings? I just get the feeling they are one of those unquestionably magnificent squads doomed never to have a major trophy to show for it. Russians unlikely to be easy on the eye.
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Post by ripper on Jun 12, 2021 9:38:23 GMT
Italy were far more adventurous than I anticipated, though I did wonder if it was going to end up as a draw after they were so dominant for so long without scoring. Turkey must be so disappointed by their performance. As for Wales, I think a lot rests on Gareth Bale for their chances of progressing. He's 32 next month, so this could be his last chance to shine at a major international championship.
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Post by 𝘗rincess 𝘵uvstarr on Jun 12, 2021 10:37:59 GMT
Today the first of our homegrown brave boys, or boyos, go into battle. The waiting is over (for the men on here, not me). The magically voiced powerhouses from the land of the red dragon take to the soccar field! I'm sure we all wish them well and urge them to believe! One Archie Gemmel moment of magic is all Wales need to achieve a great victory! Come On Wales!
Edited to make post sound more stirring.
Edited once more to ask who Wales are playing.
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Post by dem bones on Jun 12, 2021 11:09:09 GMT
Today the first of our homegrown brave boys, or boyos, go into battle. The waiting is over (for the men on here, not me). The magically voiced powerhouses from the land of the red dragon take to the soccar field! I'm sure we all wish them well and urge them to believe! One Archie Gemmel moment of magic is all Wales need to achieve a great victory! Come On Wales! Edited to make post sound more stirring. Mr. Robert Page would be well-advised to pin these words to the dressing room door so Messers Bale and Gemmill know what is expected of them. A truly blood-curdling battle-cry from the two-footed warrior princess! Alas, as feared co-commentating on the game alongside Steve "short straw" Wilson will be R****e S*v*ge. What a juggins he is!
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