Robert Leslie Bellem - The Surgeon of Souls

[dem bones]

Robert Leslie Bellem - The Surgeon of Souls & Other Tales of Terror (Black Dog Books, 2009).

Tom Roberts

Alfred Jan - Introduction: Spicy Ethics Lessons

Surgeon of Souls
Bitter Reckoning
30 Seconds
Death's Detour
Gallows Heritage
Strange Journey
Dark Eyes of Hell
The Executioner

Tom Roberts - About the Author



Blurb:
Dr. Zarkov, the Surgeon of Souls, phantasmagorically appears to those who find themselves at a moral crossroads, offering an alternative ethical and healthy course of action. He wants to remove the cancerous tumors—hate, envy, lust, greed—from their souls so they may find peace . . . and redemption.

Regardless of his counsel, in the end they must choose for themselves the course of their actions. Will those to whom Zarkov speaks adhere to his advice? Or will they risk the consequences?

Surgeon of Souls: (Spicy Mystery Stories, June 1935). "You must cast out your cancer of hate!" warned the mysterious old man. "You must forgive this girl or she will cause your death!" But Bannister wouldn't listen. A woman had betrayed him - now she must suffer!"

Harvey Bannister is in a terrible way. His business has gone bust and his only hope is that girlfriend Lola - "swelling glorious breasts," negligee for every occasion, etc - will allow him to pawn the pearls he bought her, until such times as his fortunes revive. She good naturedly laughs in his face and dumps him on the spot. Lola Linnard doesn't do paupers and besides, if the sap had only been paying attention, he'd have realised she's been carrying on with his "friend," Dave Standhope, for months!

A broken Harvey drives to the docks, intent on ending it all - until a gnome like old man steps out from the darkness and warns suicide is not the answer. Instead, Bannister must consider what he wishes for most at this moment. Easy; to rescue the business - and to see Lola in the gutter where she belongs! Dr. Zarkov shakes his head. The second is the wrong answer. "An evil wish ... It blossoms from the soul cancer that is destroying you."

Good as his word, the mysterious Dr. Zarkov hands the young man the $20,000 he requires to tide his business over ("Repay me when you can. There is no hurry"), get his life back on track. He even arranges for Bannister to save the life of the girl who will become his wife. All is well - until a fallen Lola and Dave pay a visit ...

Strange one, this. The mandatory Spicy tits and cheap thrills package - if anything, the sleazy scenes are maybe more convincing than usual - made over as a morality tale.

[helrunar]

Intriguing find, Kev.

I inevitably wonder if the name Dr Zarkov was lifted from the Flash Gordon comic strip (which became hugely popular upon its launch in 1934, one year prior to the publication of this yarn), or if this is simply a case of independent invention.

I hope Lola's deliriously swelling mammaries survived unscathed but somehow do not feel optimistic.

cheers, Steve

[andydecker]

Robert Leslie Bellem, the master of the gat in the fist and the heaving soft as a kitten mound with a cherry tip sweeter as the crown of a martini also wrote a forerunner to Fantasy Island? Now I've seen all.

[dem bones]

Bitter Reckoning: (Spicy Mystery Stories, March 1937). Devilish Magda Morraine ("swelling globes ... twin voluptuous domes of arrogance," & Co.) makes use of her charms to persuade John Saunderson that it would be in both their interests were he to murder her toothless, hag-like invalid aunt, whereupon she, Magda, will inherit a fortune. Dr. Zarkov scuttles out of the woodwork to warn against this course of action. He strongly advises Saunderson sever all ties with his hellbound lover before he too is eternally damned.

"Moreover, what have you against this old woman whose life you intend to take? Once she was young and beautiful, even as your Magda Morraine is now beautiful. Once she knew passion, and the joy of life. Would you end the pitiful fragment that is left of her? Would you blot out her warm memories of the past by putting a bullet through her heart? Would you be that callous, that cruel?

A chastened Saunderson thanks the old fool for his sage advice, promises he will leave the old lady be. Then he goes around to her house and plugs her regardless. As Zarkov knew he would. Will he get away with it?

The opener is a treat, but Bitter reckoning is up there alongside Labyrinth of Monsters and I Am a Monster as a hideously brilliant Bellem horror classic.

[dem bones]

30 Seconds: (Spicy Mystery Stories, July 1937). When wife Maizie ("firm, boyish, little") confronts him over his affair with Nadine Blanding ("two boldly firm mounds of creamy deliciousness"), Phil Haydon loses his rag, throttles her on the spot. Aghast at what he's done, the killer climbs the parapet of a tall building, prepares to leap to his death rather than face the law. Zarkov intervenes. He can restore Maizie to life, make it that the last hour never happened, but only if Haydon is prepared to cooperate fully with his instructions - and not fall for the next pair of massive knockers thrust in his face.

Admittedly, the plots are samey and Bitter Reckoning is likely the only Zarkov story we really need read. It doesn't make the series any less addictive. Dialogue is a winner, too. "Heal me? I need no quack nostrums!"

[dem bones]

Death's Detour: (Spicy Mystery Stories, Aug. 1937). "... a delicate and maidenly symphony" Nine in the evening on Death Row. Just three hours until Fred Fleming fries in the electric chair for a murder he did not commit. The jailer, a decent guy, slips him a funny cigarette through the bars. They receive a visitor. Dr. Zarkov produces a letter, signed by the Governor, surrendering Fleming into his custody until midnight. They return to that fatal night at the apartment of Fred's erstwhile lover, Reeta Mehaffery ("swelling, magnificent, buoyant and unbrassierred."), who spiked his drink with neat alcohol to render him senseless drunk when her despised husband arrived home. I find Bellem's supernatural horrors ideally suited to magazines and anthologies; good fun though they are, seven Zarkov stories in a row does not show him to his best advantage.

[dem bones]

Gallows Heritage: (Spicy Mystery Stories, Dec. 1937). Paul Shane, artist, is summoned across the river by a spectral melody at dead of night. Awaiting his arrival, a gorgeous gypsy fiddler, breasts "melon-firm." She insists Paul paint her. Incapable of resistance, he does so, obliterating the portrait of his loving wife, Marga, in the process. Paul is the latest of many to fall foul of the family curse. It began when his grandfather jilted a Romany to marry a woman more befitting his social status. The spurned lover cast her spell that henceforth, each of the Shane men shall murder his bride. Dr. Zarkov, the miracle working surgeon of souls, intervenes, but will undoing the hoodoo of a fiend with violin prove beyond him?

[dem bones]

Strange Journey: (Spicy Mystery Stories. Oct. 1938). Tom Mallory, trusted secretary to Old Man Morrow, falls under the spell of Cyrla Carteret, ("twin mounds of soft allurement" & Co.) This She-Devil in low-cut negligee insists Tom rob his kindly employer, so they can elope together to Paradise. It is Dr. Zarkov's mission to persuade young Mallory against blowing the safe. Cyrla is in cahoots with a "dapper fellow" named Barry. They plan to murder Tom once he's served his purpose. With one story to go, it is looking like this series peaked with the second instalment.

[dem bones]

Dark Eyes of Hell: (Spicy Mystery Stories, Dec. 1938). "You'll be very careful, lover? It's deadly, that botulinus culture. I had a hard time getting it from the laboratory. I had to steal it. You won't let any of it ... get onto your own food?" A variation on previous story, and the one before that. His wife Drucilla not yet cold in her grave, Walter Foster tears around to his newly rich lover's place to pack their bags. Loanne, the voluptuous brunette wife of recently deceased Old Man Maxon, has persuaded Foster to kill their respective partners and be rich and happy together. Even Dr. Zarkov gets in a couple of murders in this one.

We already met final story, The Executioner, a grim, non-Zarkov WWII horror, in the Wildside Press reissue of Spicy Mystery Stories Aug. 1935. After Bitter Reckoning it's arguably the best thing about this book.