Eric Miller [ed.] Hell Comes To Hollywood

[dem bones]

Eric Miller [ed.] Hell Comes To Hollywood: An Anthology of Short Horror Fiction Set In Tinseltown Written By Hollywood Genre Professionals (Big Time Books, 2012).

Drew Pierce

Roy Knyrim - Foreword

Laura Brennan - Message in a Bottle
Andrew Helm - Muse
Jeff Seeman - The Cutting Room
Joseph Daugherty - Town car
Ann Lewis Hamilton - Pool Boy
John Schouweiler - Dog Eats dog
James Grayford - The Bridge
William Paquet - Trash Day
Alan Bernhoft - The Legend of Sleepy Hollywood
Elizabeth J. Musgrave - Cattle Call
Richard Tanne - The Power
Travis Baker - Pyre
Sean Yopchick - Apartment 13
Jed Strahm & Ray G. Ing - I'd Like To Thank ...
Paul J. Salamoff - Bad fix
Jamison Rotch - The Box
Charles Austin Muir - Alone and Palely Loitering
C. Courtney Joyner - One Night in the Valley
Shane Bitterling - They Go In Threes
Brian Domonic Muir - Not Elves

Blurb:
HELL COMES TO HOLLYWOOD
A screenwriter pays a ghastly price for inspiration — and begs for more... A director looking tor fresh-faced talent finds more than he bargained for ... A legendary diva will sacrifice anything for fame and glory ... a TV personality discovers the twisted truth behind his co-star's impossible celebrity scoops ... A bizarre film by an unknown writer brings bloody chaos to everyone who screens it ... A mail-room clerk finds out just what kind of guts it takes to become a top talent gent ...
Vampiric producers, ghostly actors, psychotic limousine drivers, murderous stunt men and more haunt the streets and back lots of Hollywood in twenty original horror and suspense stories set in the heart of show business, and written by veteran movie and television professionals who went through Hell and back to bring you these tales.

Jed Strahm & Ray G. Ing - I'd Like To Thank ...: Fiona Danworth, veteran star of over 100 movies during the golden era, is at last to be recognised with a best actress award. Abducted by an animal rights activist on the eve of the event, she is given a simple choice. In exchange for her freedom to receive the trophy, she must trade in her fur coat for a meat dress.

Alan Bernhoft - The Legend of Sleepy Hollywood: A reptilian extra-terrestrial monster stalks the Hollywood Hills, harvesting human heads. The screen legends depicted on a mural provide a running commentary.

Andrew Helm - Muse: Were it not for the inspiration of impossibly glamorous Callie, college graduate Griffin Charles would never have written the scripts for Atomic Films' Return of the Blood Beast, Crab Attack!, and She Creature From Beyond. And all his amorous muse requests in return is that he provide her with a new corset. The fuss Charles makes, anyone would think she was demanding the skin off his back.

Laura Brennan - Message in a Bottle: How the ghost of screen idol Henry Higgins came to haunt this three-bedroom ranch. It began on Halloween night, shortly after his aquittal on charges related to the death of trophy girlfriend, Natasha.

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Elizabeth J. Musgrave - Cattle Call: Max Fishman's life depends upon his locating a virgin actress within the next three hours and delivering her to the local Satanists. The aspiring director's reward; $10 million to fund his first movie. It is better not to contemplate failure. Time is running out when - Hallelujah! - sweet Daisy from Nebraska, who is "saving it for marriage," falls into his life. Is Max that ruthless he would hand her over for sacrifice?

Jeff Seeman - The Cutting Room: Norman Sawyer, pitches his killer script around all the studios, but no-one will finance a movie which sees a cracked screenwriter torture-murder every exec, producer, actor and agent who pissed on him since his arrival in Hollywood. Norman will just have to make The Cutting Room himself. Reality, snuff, chainsaws, axes, lashings of gore, heads will roll, etc. Sick, twisted and very jolly.

Paul J. Salamoff - Bad fix: Four wannabe hipsters obtain a golden ticket to Club Pandemic, Hollywood's most exclusive hang-out. VIP privileges include an introduction to Stefan, the reclusive mystery venue owner and a chance to very literally press the flesh with Tinsel Town royalty. Best of all, the host provides each a capsule of Feather, the must-have new hallucinogenic. After which, things get .... meaty and messy.

[dem bones]

Ann Lewis Hamilton - Pool Boy: Jacqui lands the stone cottage in Laurel Canyon at discount rent on account of it has become a hard let - her two immediate predecessors drowned in the pool. Fine by Jacqui. Accidents will happen - to other folk -(especially losers with fake tans), and she doesn't believe in ghosts.

William Paquet - Trash Day: There's an appalling stench emanating from the alley beneath scriptwriter Kirk Logan's room at the Hampton Arms - he's also noted a cretin in rags mooching around down there at 2a.m. on trash days. Kirk makes the mistake of reporting this to Jerry on the front desk, a jolly, fat fellow who duly informs his colleague, Alvin the taciturn super-janitor. Both agree that something must be done - to nosey parker Kirk before he attracts outside attention to their butcher shop sideline. This anthology not short on gory stories, that's for sure.

James Grayford - The Bridge: Exploits of a much travelled serial killer, in verse.

Jamison Rotch - The Box: A screen idol pays annual tribute to his demon benefactor. Straightforward Faustian pact stuff.

[dem bones]

John Schouweiler - Dog Eats Dog: Bryan Lassiter, the most powerful agent in Hollywood, didn't make it to the top by playing reasonable. Obey his every whim and you just might come through the other side to enjoy a glorious career. Fail him, and you your days in this industry or any other, are done. Our story concerns the fates of Brigitta, Lassiter's indefatigable PA, and mail room guys Stewart Magnussen and Davis 'The Fat Fuck' Schacuter, laughing stock of the Indevour agency. The poor dumb jerk has been entrusted with the simple task of delivering an envelope to Steve Jobs at Apple. Lassiter is just one signature away from announcing the biggest deal in Hollywood history ...

Very much enjoyed this one. As if we were ever in any doubt, the movie industry has its Cannibal Kings, too.

Richard Tanne - The Power: Protagonist visits Marcienne, the amazing transmorphing medium, in the hope she can help him overcome writers block. Short, trippy, gory.

Sean Yopchick - Apartment 13: Its haunted by the ghosts of all those Hollywood hopefuls who fell by the wayside. Yet another doomed wannabe checks in.

Travis Baker - Pyre: The annual inferno sweeps through the woodlands of Southern California. Old Walt, a former stuntman, refuses to evacuate. "This is my Goddam home, and I'm not going anywhere." As the flames close in, he gets to thinking about his beloved, long dead wife, Maura, and how she came to get that way.

[dem bones]

Joseph Daugherty - Town Car: Anthony, the limousine driver, is no fan of the A-Listers he's paid to drive home from this or that exclusive function. Take tonight's vacuous pair, Tru and Trish. Drunk, stoned, half dressed, over-indulged, terminally up themselves, ordering everyone around. Tru's a movie star or something. He's seen her face on lots of billboards over the years, though not so much lately. She is oblivious in the back seat when he ditches her mate. Now they've stopped in the middle of nowhere so she can throw up again, Anthony wants to ask her a question.

Charles Austin Muir - Alone and Palely Loitering: OAP widower David Knight, barely remembered star of Hollywood's golden era, visits a Thai massage parlour, House of Orchids, in the hope of getting his leg over. Why should the elderly be despised as "perverts" should they retain a sexual desires even if, like him, they are suffering from Alzheimer's? Proprietor Mr. Jones and divine masseuse Belle offer him eternal ecstasy in exchanged for his worn out body. Ending is a bit cosmic, or metaphysical, or one of those big words, though David seems happy enough.

[dem bones]

C. Courtney Joyner - One Night in the Valley: Gyp never tires of reminding folk that he once appeared on-screen with Charles Bronson. Nowdays he has to make do with appearing in sleazy Aziz Abrahamian's one-shot porno's. Tonight they're shooting Bang My Passed-out Girlfriend, the first in what Aziz insists will be a lucrative date-rape series. Gyp refuses to participate when he realises his co-star, 'Crystal Catt,' is not merely anaesthetised - she's dead. Aziz reveals his true face, assures Gyp that downing tools on this shoot is not an option.

Shane Bitterling - They Go in Threes: Kalvin Kash, a presenter on All Access, "the grand daddy of all syndicated entertainment news programs," will ever be eclipsed by golden girl Lorna Hope unless he can somehow oust her $1 million backside from the anchor's chair. This is no easy task. Lorna, 51, is loved by everyone on AA - bar him. They don't even mind that she invariably wins the office 'Dead Pool', a tasteful wager whereby each of the production team attempt to predict the next celebrity deaths. Lorna's "guesses" are so uncannily accurate it is as though she has unlimited access to the Grim Reaper's to-do-in list. Not only this, but it is always Lorna who secures what turns out to be the very last recorded interview with this or that star before they exit life in spectacular fashion. What's her big secret? Kash and Chloe Steiner, a ruthlessly ambitious young intern, resolve to find out. Personal overall favourite in a patchy but consistently entertaining collection.

Brian Domonic Muir - Not Elves: Karchi is current hottest producer in Tinsel Town on the strength of his all-conquering, Oscar-laden Ahriman trilogy. However, as he explains to lawyer, Bill. "I've got bigger plans than acting like some douche-bag movie mogul skating about town in Keds with designer jeans." Karchi has abducted Bill's wife, Merrilee, to ensure his cooperation in a master plan that will restore Satan to his rightful throne.

And there's a sequel:

Eric Miller [ed.] Hell Comes to Hollywood II: Twenty-Two More Tales of Tinseltown Terror (Big Time Books, 2014).

Drew Pierce

Jeffrey Reddick - Foreword

Richard Christian Matheson - Setting
Del Howison - The Last Great Monster
R. B. Payne - Mexican Clown Hands
Anthony C. Ferrante - The Crimson Marquee
Lisa Morton - She-Devil A-Go-Go
Daniel P. Coughlin - From Script to Scream
William Lebeda - Charlie's Angel
Carla Robinson - The Voice Coach Cometh
Kelly Kurtzhals - Buried!
Heather E. Ash - Method
Lin Shaye - Careful What You Wish For
Doug Molitor - Doing the Lord's Work
Ron Zwang - The Devil's Friend
Erin Bennett & Donny Broussard - Tiffany
Katarina Leigh Waters - Once Upon a Time at the Horror Hotel
Tim Chizmar - Libby
Hal Bodner - Hot Tub
John Palisano - Welcome to the Jungle
Brad C. Hodson - The Scottish Play
Graydon Schlichter - This is a Recording
Eric Miller - Culling the Herd
Eric J. Guignard - Dreams of a Little Suicide

Blurb:
The sequel to the Bram Stoker Award nominated "Hell Comes To Hollywood" delivers twenty-two more tales of Tinseltown terror.

A film crew tracks a creature in the forest—or is it tracking them…? A producer sells his soul for the rights to a comic book, but the deal isn’t what it seems… The hideous secret to an mega-star’s fame lies in the bottom of his hot tub… An actress buys a smartphone and gets far more than she bargained for… A reality TV show pushes contestants to insane limits… A Hollywood movie palace worker gets trapped in a ghostly nightmare…

Take a behind the screams tour into the dark heart of show business and see the cast of bloodthirsty monsters, power-mad directors, starving zombies, deal-making demons and more horrific creatures tear up the screen! Buy your ticket, bloody the popcorn, and settle into your seat—and don’t forget to turn off your Hell phone…

[helrunar]

Very diverting notes, as always, Kev.

I wonder if the Shane Bitterling tale (not an author I have ever heard of) is somehow related to Mexican folklore about la Llorona, a banshee/Death Goddess figure. The name Lorna seems to suggest it.

cheers, Steve

[dem bones]

Jun 15, 2020 20:38:07 GMT helrunar said:

I wonder if the Shane Bitterling tale (not an author I have ever heard of) is somehow related to Mexican folklore about la Llorona, a banshee/Death Goddess figure. The name Lorna seems to suggest it.

Not sure about that. The story is a straight ahead serial-killer black comedy, no supernatural content far as I can remember. Shane Bitterling scripted something called Beneath Loch Ness which, I must admit, sounds wonderful.

These from the sequel. Buried! is a cracker.

Lisa Morton - She-Devil A-Go-Go: Set in 1966. Ross Moore, ex-army cameraman turned b-movie director, is shooting another zero-budget T&A masterpiece, this latest concerning the exploits of three fugitive strippers hiding out in the desert with their late pimp's loot. Two days in, Louis - 44DD breasts, zero acting ability - is written out of the script, having fallen prey to a mystery wasting disease. Her best pal, Maddi, likewise succumbs, leaving only feisty Deva Braun, the nominal starlet, to see it through. Deva has done her homework on the impossibly long-lived film-maker. She knows that every actress he ever banged aged at alarming rate and died within a year.

Kelly Kurtzhals - Buried!: "I'm right here, so close to where Hollywood happens, but I'll never be a part of it." Kyle, a once promising actor over the hill at 37, is so desperate for work he gladly agrees to participate in ZBN's extreme tolerance reality show, Buried!. As snappy title suggests, the ten participants are wired to an IV drip, encoffined in a metal box, buried ten feet down in a stretch of Nevada desert. The winner - whoever is last to press the panic button - goes home with $1million. Can Kyle hold out?

William Lebeda - Charlie's Angel: The unthinkable has happened! Charlie Neumeyer's $250 million re-imaging of King Arthur as a Sci-fi epic has bombed at the box office! Desperate for inspiration, he attends a Comic Convention - after all, superheroes in spandex are all the rage with today's bright young things. Sure enough, old-timer Cecil Cacher, a wheelchair-bound dealer, offers him just what he's after - the solitary copy of the greatest superhero epic of all time - price: one measly soul. Problem is, Neumeyer sold his ages ago. Demon-Cecil does not take kindly to being tricked. A massacre of Supergirl & Spiderman wannabes ensues.

Lin Shaye - Careful What You Wish For : So desperate is our gal to obtain the last must-have i-phone in store, she is even prepared to endure an encounter with, Nancygirl, sales assistant from Hell. Authored by 'Irene' of the Insidious movies.

[Dr Strange]

Jun 16, 2020 12:25:11 GMT dem bones said:

Shane Bitterling scripted something called Beneath Loch Ness which, I must admit, sounds wonderful.

May be no fault of the scriptwriter, but the film (2001) is widely regarded as one of the worst ever made.

[dem bones]

Richard Christian Matheson - Setting: An extract from Matheson's novel, Created By (1993). Alan, a psychic who invariably sees the worst, is house hunting in LA. Today he views a property where a pop star and his wife were torture-murdered by an embittered former band mate. He'll take it.

Del Howison - The Last Great Monster: Driving home through the hills following an 18 hour day on set, Shelley Cherwinski collides with a huge, furry something in the road. Badly injured, the creature limps off into the trees. The following day, cop Kenneth Stamper, investigating the incident, finds what he takes to be the corpse of Sasquash crumpled in the woods. Stamper, $ signs flashing before his eyes, contacts Shelley's director, who duly arrives with crew to shoot what he intends as a Bigfoot Discovered! documentary. The footage, when eventually retrieved, is aired on an especially gruesome Unexplained Questions cryptozoology special.

Erin Bennett & Donny Broussard - Tiffany: Director Ted is stalked by the insane actress he once overlooked as female lead in his costly 'eighties flop, Death In A Red Dress, on account of she was too generously proportioned.

John Palisano - Welcome to the Jungle: Michelle, newly arrived from Texas and struggling for work, is overjoyed when sleazy-but-successful director Dusty Palace offers her a part in Appetite, a low budget horror now shooting in Sun Valley. All that's required of Michelle is that she scream her lungs out as the actress chained beside her is raped and butchered by Red, a massive flesh-eating crab-monster. Michelle will be fine just so long as she keeps reminding herself that snuff movies don't exist, Red hasn't really bitten Farah in half, it's all done by special effects ....

[dem bones]

Brad C. Hodson - The Scottish Play: David, director of the Theater Obscura troupe, laughs in the face of superstition. Not only does he refer to 'the Scottish Play' by name in rehearsal, he steals a bag of soil from the graveyard at Glamis Castle. The resident playhouse ghost is far from amused and marks him for death. Unable to live without his husband, narrator beds down with the sachet of dirt and utters the unmentionable title.

Tim Chizmar - Libby: A Hollywood widow and Squishy, the fluffy white cat, come under attack from multiple arachnids of nightmare.

Katarina Leigh Waters - Once Upon a Time at the Horror Hotel: Raquelle, who arrived in LA with dreams of overnight mega-stardom, is reduced to chopping tomatoes in the canteen while cast and crew get on with filming a bio-pic of H. H. Holmes, "America's first serial killer." Raquelle is particularly enviable of the female lead, an unspeakably beautiful, stuck-up talent bypass named 'Cyndi Celeste' aka, Hollywood's next-big-thing-of-the-moment. Post rehearsal, Raquelle sneaks into Cyndi's dressing room and tries on her gorgeous Victorian costume - whereupon she is transported back to the Chicago of the 1880's and into the clutches of a dashed good looking gentleman named Henry. Would madam care for a tour of his humble hotel?

Personal joint favourite to date alongside the Poe-esque Buried! and Cryptozoology/ found footage instant classic, The Last Great Monster. Author first achieved fame as a pro wrestler. Official site HERE

[dem bones]

Carla Robinson - The Voice Coach Cometh: Dierdre, auditioning for the part of Lady MacBeth, urgently needs to overcome a speech impediment - according to best pal Lucy, her "Scottish" accent leaves much to be desired. "You sound more like a drag queen doing Benny Hill, only without the talent." Another job for Marjorie McCann, psychotic voice coach to the stars.

Ron Zwang - The Devil's Friend: Set during the 'seventies. Fred Pine, whose CV boasts - among others - Space Monsters from Outer Space, Globe of the Chimps and Pet Rock - The Movie - is universally denounced as the most incompetent producer in the history of Hollywood. In a last desperate bid for glory, Mr. Pine offers his soul to Satan in exchange for a place among the greats. To seal the deal, our man throws in a virgin sacrifice (this being LA, Maggie Chambers, the notorious porn star, is the best he can manage) and an exclusive preview of his new stage magician routine. Story played for laughs, as you probably guessed. Includes fun 'sawing a woman in half' sequence.

Doug Molitor - Doing the Lord's Work: In an outrageous miscarriage of justice, Laurence Maher, most loathsome of TV Evangelists, is acquitted of murdering his wife. Never fear; Drake, a horror screenwriter, and girlfriend Nikki, the vampire vigilante, are on his case. Extract from author's then forthcoming novel, Full Moon Fever.

[dem bones]

Eric Miller - Culling the Herd: Rebecca, militant Creature Rights activist, infiltrates Syd Sherman's Monster Ranch intent on liberating the flesh-eating zombies. as anyone who worked on 28 Weekends Later might have told her (had they only survived), this is a very bad mistake.

Graydon Schlichter - This is a Recording: The film roles having dried up, Jessica takes work voicing the Terror in Tinseltown audio-books. Unfortunately for them both, Jessica's co-narrator, Gary, is a perfectionist to the point of being insufferable to work with - and her nerves are not what they once were ....

Daniel P. Coughlin - From Script to Scream: Screenwriter Chucky Milburn sells his mad slasher script to Borman Pictures for a paltry $10,000. True to form, the young man's brief association with the company is a desperately unhappy experience as he is mercilessly cheated at every turn. Chucky is avenged when the hulking actor portraying his monster identifies so powerfully with the role that he bursts from the screen during the premier to attack the Borman elite.

Anthony C. Ferrante - The Crimson Marquee: The El Mira cinema has reputedly acquired several ghosts over its seventy years, making it near impossible for manager and projectionist Big Joe Barton to retain staff. Emmy Rosen is different. Recently bereaved of her mother after a long illness, the twenty-year-old is desperate for confirmation that there is life beyond the grave, otherwise: what's the point of it all? Descending the basement stairs, Emmy finds the proof she seeks several times over, not that it does her any good.

[dem bones]

R. B. Payne - Mexican Clown Hands: "People are born innocent. After that, its a crapshoot. You can't scratch anybody too deep without finding ugly." Each year for close on a century, a phantom circus troupe have returned to Hollywood to avenge their deaths in an inferno during filming at Furnace Ranch. As the Big Top burned, none present stepped forward to attempt rescue, and a bent cop colluded with a lawyer to clear Ottassia Studios of blame. After all, nobody important was gonna lose sleep over a few lousy wet-backs. This latest murder spree sees the culprit leave behind a pair of oversized papier-mâché hands beside the bodies of his victims. Detectives Trang and Rodriquez investigate a case straight out of The X-Files.

Hal Bodner - Hot Tub: Jason is groomed for stardom by a cannibal elemental imprisoned in a redwood tub. Complications arise when Jason embarks on a side project as a gay serial killer.

Heather E. Ash - Method: Susan McGrath coaxes her precocious seven-year-old son Sam to apply for acting roles. The boy has talent, but surely he is too hopelessly timid to survive Hollywood?

Method joins the personal favourites. Both Hot Tub and Mexican Clown Hands are decent. Am now running out of book!

[dem bones]

Last story is a beauty based on the popular urban legend of "the hanged munchkin."

Eric J. Guignard - Dreams of a Little Suicide: Fatal attraction on The Wizard of Oz shoot. Our unnamed narrator, one of a hundred "midgets" gathered from across the USA to play Munchkins, falls in love with Juniper Haley, a friendly, if ruthlessly ambitious seamstress in wardrobe. After a whirlwind ten week romance - the happiest days of the small man's life - June callously drops him and returns to her abusive, cheating ex, costume designer Adrian Adolph Greenberg, as the likelier bet to advance her career. Our heartbroken hero punches Greenberg between the legs, for which he's booted off the movie and blacklisted. Despairing that the Wizard of Oz is a sham, dreams never come true, the munchkin hangs himself on set as Judy Garland leads Scarecrow, Tin Man, and Toto along the Yellow Brick Road.

"And my body turned, suspended from the branch, They had filmed my death, and no one even saw."

He doesn't mind that he's dead. He just wants June to join him ...