A little past the 75% mark now and things have been getting very Laymon-esque. I'm not complaining. I like Laymon-esque.
So, Jody, her dad and the policewoman, Sharon, head off to find Andy. If I've ever felt like Mr Laymon was trying to introduce a bit more character depth than usual, it would probably have been around this point that I'd consider that as an option. Either that or he wanted to pad the book out a bit, because to be honest, not a great deal happens until Andy shows up at Jody's motel room. This, it turns out, was part of a plan laid out by his dad and Sharon. They're rather pleased with themselves when it works out and have smug grins on their faces when they're 'caught' in Sharon's room, her in her very short blue shiny robe and the both of them with their glasses of Irish Whiskey.
It should be noted that prior to this, we had a couple of those Laymon-esque moments I mentioned above. First, we have a shower scene concentrating on the lovely Jody, and her soap suds. Here's a snip-it for you,
Unfortunately, and strangely for Mr Laymon, he doesn't go into anywhere near as much sudsy detail as I would have either liked, or expected. Still, was worth a second gander I thought. Just in case I missed something.
We leave them here with their soapy suds and Irish Whiskey and venture forth once again with the eloquent Simon who must have the world of cassette tapes at his disposal, because he's still speaking his life story into his little recorder. He has a real thing for cross-dressing it would seem, and is now disguised as a blonde bombshell complete with accompanying handbag. He's still on his search for Jody of course but that doesn't stop him having a little fun along the way. He's in a red, open-topped Mercedes and spots a 'bum', one of many that roam the back-alleys of LA. He's pushing four shopping carts(translation: Trolleys) which are joined together into a little trolley train. Simon can't resist, and simply mows him down and then, just to make sure, runs over his head. Jolly good then. His next victims are a couple of gay guys, one with the obligatory mustache and both wearing tan shorts. They're walking their little dog. He's called Henry. They have a little fun and a little joke and a laugh at his dress sense, and then they die! A paring knife does the dirty deed this time, and Simon informs us that the butcher's knife commonly found in horror movies is just not practical, whereas the paring knife is not only more than up to the job but is also very discreet. All this is jolly stuff but I couldn't help thinking while reading it that it was more there to fill the gaps than to advance the story. I don't know. It just didn't really feel like it added much to Simon as a character and nothing at all really to the story. There is, however, a nice little checklist from Simon regarding how to get away with murder. It's nothing that we haven't all heard before but it's still nice to have a hard copy. You know. Just in case!
Well, can't argue with that.
After arriving at Jody's house and finding it empty, he decides to crash out in her room. I don't blame him really. I mean he's not having a lot of luck finding her, and everyone deserves a bit of down time don't they? He has a quick delve through her drawers, of course, but only finds a couple of pairs of 'panties' and a big empty space where the rest should have been. Ah-Hah! There was no car in the drive either. He realizes she's gone already. Oh well, at least there's her bed to enjoy. He fantasizes a little about how her body must've touched these very sheets before falling asleep. Meh, I really can't fault him here. He must be getting a bit frustrated. I'd have pocketed at least one of those pairs of panties(kidding!, I'm kidding!!(but not really...))
Simon wakes and there's another of those reminiscing chapters about stuff the Krulls got up to in the past. It's a girl called Denise that one of their number particularly fancied this time, and what's more, she only lives about a mile away. This must've been before this above mentioned rule about only killing strangers. Either that or they're damned hypocrites and liars. In his defense, he is thinking back to the distant past here so maybe he can be forgiven. He tells us how they simply fancied killing someone, you know, how you do, so off they go to Denise's house armed with a variety of garden implements including, but not limited to, a pair of shears. Suffice to say poor Denise not only gets her skimpy, see-through nightie torn off her(we're specifically informed of it's see-through qualities(thank you once again Mr Laymon
)), which she does, and not only gets gang raped by each and every member of the Krulls, which she does, but then ends her days in several pieces courtesy of those garden shears. Gulp! Weirdly, there's no great detail in all this. But, even more weirdly, we come away with the feeling that we've just read it all in terrific, graphic and eminently vivid detail. I don't know how that happened, but it's a good trick nonetheless.
I feel the realism gets stretched a little now when Simon finds a couple of phone numbers on a pad near the phone and when trying one and discovering it's the Indio police department, calls back pretending to be from another department requesting info. about Jody's current whereabouts. Now, I'm no expert in the minutiae of policing policy and so on but it strikes me as a little unlikely. Well, anyway, he now has an address for the motel she's at. I should say at this point(if I haven't already, I forget) that Simon has a girlfriend called Lisa, and he has to find and get Jody back to the rest of the Krulls by 10pm or else they'll do to her what they all usually reserve for random strangers. So he's on the clock, so to speak.
There's another bit of filler now, with Jody accusing Sharon of 'boinking' her dad. 'Boinking' is Andy's favourite word. I like it too if truth be known. I don't know what these little bits add. Maybe I've been ruined for good character building by reading too many of Mr Laymon's novels, but this one feels like there's a bit more 'incidental' stuff than most of his others if I can put it that way. I may be wrong. It's not bad anyway. In fact, I'm not sure it's not to do with the constant switching between Simon's chapters(where he tends to be looking back, and recording it all on his tapes in case anything happens to him he says), and the present day version where we're back in the thick of it all 'as it happens'. The more I think about it, I think that may be what's been bothering me all along in this one.
After we're treated to a meal at a western style restaurant with Jody and the others, we're back to Simon again. He's still dressed as a woman and leads two of the Krulls to a house that he tells them is where Jody is staying. This is all a ploy by our Simon to get rid of them, presumably in a bid to eventually save his girlfriend, Lisa. He manages to kill them of course, and does it quite nicely too by putting on a wonderful little show and pretending to be Jody with a hood over her head and a belt strapped round her kneck. It's quite well done, and I'm finding that I'm actually beginning to warm to Simon a little. I feel this may end up being a bit of a redemption type of story. Well, here's hoping anyway.
to be continued...l
)), which she does, and not only gets gang raped by each and every member of the Krulls, which she does, but then ends her days in several pieces courtesy of those garden shears. Gulp! Weirdly, there's no great detail in all this. But, even more weirdly, we come away with the feeling that we've just read it all in terrific, graphic and eminently vivid detail. I don't know how that happened, but it's a good trick nonetheless.
