Euro's France 2016

[dem bones]

Group A. Fri 10th France 2 Romania 1

What a terrific start! Surreal opening ceremony - including can-can dancers, triffids, a big pair of lips, and Zara Larsson belting out official theme over David Guetta's tepid techno - went some way toward compensating for this year's relatively sane Eurovision Song Contest. I for one hope we will see a lot more of the Marion Bartoli - Louis "I am excited it is exciting" Saha double act as the tournament progresses.

Decent game, too. Curtain raiser eerily mirrored most recent match I attended (Fig A) in that it was contested by two teams of XI and involved a ball. The hosts are very easy on the eye, all Gallic flair (© every commentator ever) going forward, an accident screaming to happen at the back. Romania coped better with the occasion, but, having finally grabbed elusive opener through serial boo-boy Oliver Giroud, the nervy home nation seemed destined for a comfortable win only for a Patrice Evra brainstorm to gift Bogdan Stancu a penalty. Equaliser knocked the stuffing out of the favourites, draw looked inevitable until West Ham's resident genius came up with his latest moment of magic. Defeat harsh on the typically stoic E. European bruisers who, aided and abetted by the hosts' panic stricken defence, created and fluffed the best chances.

Today.

Group A. 14. 00. Albania V. Switzerland. First-time qualifiers the Norman Wisdom Fan Club only scored ten in qualifying, and three of them ghost goals awarded following the drone incident vs. the Serbs.

Oh yeah. Also ....

".... and some of Miss Diana Dors is on the pitch ..." Euro 1996 Memories Euphoric scenes greet England's 0-0 annihilation of Spain in the last eight.

Group B. 17. 00. Slovenia V. Wales.

Group B. 20.00 England V. Russia

[dem bones]

Albania 0 Switzerland 1

Thought Albania were unfortunate not to get something from this. A man down inside 40 minutes - captain Lorik Cana was dismissed after collecting a second yellow - the likely group whipping boys made life difficult for the Swiss and blew a great chance to equalise with three minutes to go. Keeper Etrit Berisha, who otherwise had a decent game, horribly at fault for Fabian Schar's early and decisive goal. Swiss have that "we'll qualify and go out in last 16" look about them.

Slovakia 1 Wales 2

Magnificent as he is, there's more to the Welsh than Gareth Bale plus anonymous support cast, as proved in this hard fought contest versus the Slovakians' brand of Black Metal football. After dominating first half, the Dragons looked to have blown it when sub Duda equalised with first touch since arriving from the bench, but fought back to nab late scuffed winner via HRK. Slovakia, inspired by Martin Skrtel's manic panto villain turn, can take scant consolation that they are early front-runners in yellow card league.

[dem bones]

So it's my therapy. Just talk amongst yourselves.

England 1 Russia 1. The last gasp equaliser was as crushingly inevitable as it was mortifying, but will gladly take this swashbuckling version of England over the joyless, death-to-entertainment variety we fast came to know and loath during the Satanic Reign of Fabio Capello. Heroic failure I can handle. Their keeper possibly at fault for Eric Dier's drilled free kick but made amends with brilliant save to keep out a Rooney scorcher. Russia are no mugs and got what they came for. It's gonna be an exciting group.

Today's Action.

Group D. 14.00 Croatia V Turkey. It doesn't scream glamour clash, but my spidy sense insists it will be a cracker.

Group C. 17.00 N.Ireland V. Poland. The draw wasn't kind to Michael O'Neill's lads ....

Group C. 20.00 Germany V Ukraine. "This isn't a vintage Germany side .... a team in transition .... struggling for form." Blah blah. Like we've not heard that prior to every tournament of past 100 years. It's GERMANY. Even were they absolutely hopeless they'd not bow out before the semi's.

[ripper]

England were extremely good in the first half and dominated Russia. They slowed the tempo in the second half, allowing Russia far more possession. Yes, agreed that there was an inevitability about Russia's last minute goal. This could be a tight group and England will have to beat Wales to make sure progression is still in their hands. Needless to say, Wales will have their tails up. Disappointed that Rooney was taken off.

[dem bones]

Jun 12, 2016 16:48:26 GMT ripper said:

England were extremely good in the first half and dominated Russia. They slowed the tempo in the second half, allowing Russia far more possession. Yes, agreed that there was an inevitability about Russia's last minute goal. This could be a tight group and England will have to beat Wales to make sure progression is still in their hands. Needless to say, Wales will have their tails up. Disappointed that Rooney was taken off.

Roy Hodgson has copped a lot of stick for subbing Rooney (who was brilliant), much of it from the same master-brains who demanded the same player be left out of the squad because we won a friendly without him. I thought Russia played well second half, but England still all over them, just couldn't find the net. In view of FIFA's statement of earlier today, we will do well to complete our group fixtures.

England and Russia given disqualification warning

[franklinmarsh]

It did hurt, despite the sense that it would happen. Good to see England playing well. If we're knocked out by Wales in the week , it will take on aspects of tragedy. Quite enjoyed the NI Poland game, hoping the Irish could emulate Russia, but it was not to be. Best part of the tournament so far has to be the Croatian goal, screaming past the Turkish goalkeeper in his outlandish Pink Panther outfit, with clashing green boots. As a stranger to the modern game, I'm finding the fluorescent footwear, and refs carrying a small tube of shaving foam in the back of their shorts a bit disconcerting.

[dem bones]

Jun 12, 2016 21:32:05 GMT franklinmarsh said:

It did hurt, despite the sense that it would happen. Good to see England playing well. If we're knocked out by Wales in the week , it will take on aspects of tragedy. Quite enjoyed the NI Poland game, hoping the Irish could emulate Russia, but it was not to be. Best part of the tournament so far has to be the Croatian goal, screaming past the Turkish goalkeeper in his outlandish Pink Panther outfit, with clashing green boots. As a stranger to the modern game, I'm finding the fluorescent footwear, and refs carrying a small tube of shaving foam in the back of their shorts a bit disconcerting.

No-Shock Sunday, though Ukraine gave Germany a few frights when they briefly stirred from their torpor.

Croatia 1 Turkey 0. I'll give my spidy sense this one if only for Luka Modric's screamer and Slaven Bilic's jubilant reaction to same in the studio. Croatia always in control.

N. Ireland 0 Poland 1. Predictable as sin. One way traffic from the kick off. The Irish did well to hold out for fifty minutes, but offer so little up front.

Germany 2 Ukraine 0. I swear Germany do it to take the piss. 'You see this, England? We're 1-0 up on ninety minutes and we're bringing on Bastian Schweinsteiger for the dying seconds. He's been a knackered out cart-horse at Old Trafford all season, Ja? Now watch this ....' Even the comedy own goal attempts looked suspiciously choreographed. This J-Loew character is too clever by half. Business as usual.

Today's action

Group D. 14.00 Czech Rep. V Spain
Group E. 17.00 Rep. Ireland V Sweden
Group E. 20.00 Belgium V Italy

[dem bones]

Belgium 0 Italy 2

Jet-set lifestyle meant that I was denied all but the highlights of the earlier games, but the evening match more than compensated for any disappointment. The top-ranked team in the competition versus "the worst Italian side in 50 years" could only have one outcome. Maybe somebody should have informed the Azzurri before they played the hot favourites off the park for 90 minutes. Gigi Buffon has earned the right to wear one fluorescent yellow glove, one pink, but Mario 'Elbows' Fellani's Ronald McDonald tribute less easy to condone even during moments of "sexual masochism." (© Louis van Gaal). If they didn't know it before, Marc Wilmot's obscenely-talented squad will now be painfully aware that the "golden generation" albatross weighs heavy.

Today

Group F: Austria 0 Hungary 2

Fancied dark horses with great qualifying record blown away by team who'd be watching tournament on TV were it not for new, bloated 24 team format. Magyars goalie Gabor 'The Medium-Paced Octopus' Kiraly won't see forty again, but he was way too lithe for the mis-firing Wunderteam.

Group F: 20. 00 Iceland V Portugal

[franklinmarsh]

Well played, Iceland! 30,000 fans?!?!!? Take that, Ronaldo.

[dem bones]

Jun 14, 2016 20:52:52 GMT franklinmarsh said:

Well played, Iceland! 30,000 fans?!?!!? Take that, Ronaldo.

Iceland 1 Portugal 1

"GOALIE LIKE THE CLIFF FACE AT DYRHÓLAEY. THE ONLY THING THAT WILL DESTROY HIM IS CENTURIES OF COASTAL EROSION." - Reykjavík Grapevine @rvkgrapevine

The Icemen did for the Netherlands H & A in qualifying so nobody should be too surprised that they are a decent team. That said, match was pretty much a re-run of England V. Russia except equaliser from nowhere came early in second half. The chilled ones looked overawed in opening 45 and the jellyfish should have had more to show for their domination than Nani's tidy finish. But ... "AND NOW WE SMITE THEM INTO TINY PIECES OF DUST & DESTROY THEIR GOAL WITH A BALL SET ON FIRE BY OUR VOLCANIC THUNDER." And they did, too, courtesy of Birkir Bjarnason's precise volley! Brilliant support throughout (they were like this at the Women's Euro's in 2013). CR7's mega-sulk at climax perfect end to a magical night.

Today

Group B 14.00 Russia V Slovakia. All eyes on Lille for the shaven-headed bruisers convention.

Group A 17.00 Romania V Switzerland. A win sees the Swiss through to last 16 (where they'll almost certainly go out to whoever they draw). Romania gave the French a decent game in tournament opener.

Group A 20.00 Albania V France. The host's qualify with a win, even a draw should be good enough. And it's not like they're going to LOSE TO ALBANIA!....

[mattofthespurs]

Good to see Ronaldo's nose put out of joint (meaning he kept his shirt on for a change), and good to see the thugs of Russia (sorry lads, but I'm lumping you altogether, team and odious supporters) take a beating at the hands of the mighty Slovakia.
Just now need England to get 3 points against the fearsome Welsh and I'll feel a damn sight better.

[Deleted]

Jun 14, 2016 20:52:52 GMT franklinmarsh said:

Well played, Iceland! 30,000 fans?!?!!? Take that, Ronaldo.

I have Iceland in the work sweepstake. The dream is still on!

[dem bones]

Game Of Shame: Notorious hooligan "firms" head for Lens.

Russia 1 Slovakia 2. From an Eng perspective, a draw might have been better, though at least now the Russians will have to go all out versus Wales to have any chance of making last 16 (that is if they've not been thrown out by then). Slovakia's second on stroke of half time was a cracker.

Romania 1 Switzerland 1. Didn't see it. Not the most surprising result.

Albania 0 France 2. Football is a harsh mistress (© everyone ever). Lowest ranked team in competition put on a superb performance only to be undone in dying seconds by a treacherous Griezmann header. Dimitri Payet's curler in time added on made score look far more comfortable than it was. French stumble on into knock-out stages with game to spare, Albania dead in the water unless they can beat Romania.

[franklinmarsh]

Saw some of the second half of Romania vs Switzerland, and the Swiss looked much the better team. Was hoping they might just snatch it.




Good to see whole chunks of stadia taken up with Euro-fans in team shirts - Switzerland's fans looked like blocks of jam, but the award goes to Sweden's cascades of molten butter. And talking of hooligan firms, anyone see the Geldof vs Farage aqua aerobics? Comedy gold enhanced by the Channel 4 news reporter greeting Sir Bob and chums familiar obscene hand gestures with "That's semaphore for....anchor."

[Craig Herbertson]

Football's been really enjoyable. Being Scottish though, I hardly recognise this new tactic of scoring.

Most impressive song has to be the Icelandic grunt. Absolutely terrifying - even, as some article pointed out, when there's only fifty of them

www.youtube.com/watch?v=Piy3Appkmqo&feature=youtu.be