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Post by dem bones on Mar 20, 2016 11:57:37 GMT
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Post by Jojo Lapin X on Mar 20, 2016 13:27:32 GMT
This tool will revolutionize horror writing.
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gilmore
Crab On The Rampage
Posts: 27
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Post by gilmore on Nov 27, 2018 19:19:29 GMT
The Curse of the Tattered Piano
Whilst investigating the death of a local nurse, a grateful mechanic called Biff Wheeler uncovers a legend about a supernaturally-cursed, tattered piano circulating throughout Scotland. As soon as anyone uses the piano, he or she has exactly 342 days left to live.
The doomed few appear to be ordinary people during day to day life, but when photographed, they look slightly peaky. A marked person feels like a bloated fox to touch.
Biff gets hold of the piano, refusing to believe the superstition. A collage of images flash into his mind: a snowy hamster balancing on a spiky nurse, an old newspaper headline about a drunk driving accident, a hooded bat ranting about toes and a drinking well located in a dank place.
When Biff notices that his eyes have fox-like properties, he realises that the curse of the tattered piano is true and calls in his lover, a hairdresser called Sonya Connor, to help.
Sonya examines the piano and willingly submits herself to the curse. She finds that the same visions flash before her eyes. She finds the snowy hamster balancing on a spiky nurse particularly chilling. She joins the queue for a supernatural death.
Biff and Sonya pursue a quest to uncover the meaning of the visions, starting with a search for the hooded bat. Will they be able to stop the curse before their time is up?
I think I can confidently say that this is the story they would remember me for if I could only be bothered to write it... If only Edgar Wallace had had this tool at his disposal!
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Post by Dr Terror on Nov 27, 2018 20:41:45 GMT
The Curse of the Stained Mattress A Horror Story by Gaye N. Smith
Whilst investigating the death of a local pipe-smoking scientist, a ruggedly handsome journalist called Jarvis Walker uncovers a legend about a supernaturally-cursed, stained mattress circulating throughout Bognor Regis. As soon as anyone uses the mattress, he or she has exactly 13 days left to live.
The doomed few appear to be ordinary people during day to day life, but when photographed, they look sheet-like. A marked person feels like a drunken bedbug to touch.
Jarvis gets hold of the mattress, refusing to believe the superstition. A collage of images flash into his mind: a rampant goat balancing on a foetid pipe-smoking scientist, an old newspaper headline about a combine harvester accident, a hooded cobra ranting about boobs and a drinking well located in a public place.
When Jarvis notices his genitals have bedbug-like properties, he realises that the curse of the stained mattress is true and calls in his lover, a nude model called Sondrine Bryarsgate, to help.
Sondrine examines the mattress and willingly submits herself to the curse. She finds that the same visions flash before her eyes. She finds the rampant goat balancing on a foetid pipe-smoking scientist particularly chilling. She joins the queue for a supernatural death.
Jarvis and Sondrine pursue a quest to uncover the meaning of the visions, starting with a search for the hooded cobra. Will they be able to stop the curse before their time is up?
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Post by helrunar on Nov 27, 2018 21:50:42 GMT
Hilarious. Thanks, Gilmore and Dr Terror, for the fun! Dr T's synopsis actually sounds a lot like the real Guy N Smith books Kev has reported upon with such incandescent flair.
H.
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Post by Dr Terror on Nov 28, 2018 0:32:45 GMT
The Curse of the Radiation-emitting Nuclear Power Station A Horror Story by Gaye N. Smith
Whilst investigating the death of a local farmer, a bearded scientist called Cliff Walden uncovers a legend about a supernaturally-cursed, radiation-emitting nuclear power station circulating throughout the West Midlands. As soon as anyone uses the nuclear power station, he or she has exactly 13 days left to live.
The doomed few appear to be ordinary people during day to day life, but when photographed, they look mutated. A marked person feels like a pus-seeping zombie to touch.
Cliff gets into the nuclear power station, refusing to believe the superstition. A collage of images flash into his mind: a rampant cockroach balancing on a festering farmer, an old newspaper headline about a chemical spillage accident, a hooded ex-SAS priest ranting about large breasts and a drinking well located in a contaminated place.
When Cliff notices his teeth have rodent-like properties, he realises that the curse of the radiation-emitting nuclear power station is true and calls in his lover, a drug-addicted, horny housewife called Patricia Goddard, to help.
Patricia examines the nuclear power station and willingly submits herself to the curse. She finds that the same visions flash before her eyes. She finds the rampant cockroach balancing on a festering farmer particularly chilling. She joins the queue for a supernatural death.
Cliff and Patricia pursue a quest to uncover the meaning of the visions, starting with a search for the hooded ex-SAS priest. Will they be able to stop the curse before their time is up?
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Post by helrunar on Nov 28, 2018 3:10:21 GMT
I don't know if I have the proper pedigree to appreciate such exalted literary prose! Really extraordinary.
This did sound familiar: ".. a hooded ex-SAS priest ranting about large breasts..." Didn't Channel 4 do a documentary about him last Spring?
cheers, H.
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Post by Shrink Proof on Nov 28, 2018 9:32:34 GMT
I've used it loads of times and so far it hasn't once come up with the word eldritch. I demand a refund.
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albie
Devils Coach Horse
Posts: 134
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Post by albie on Dec 4, 2018 11:46:54 GMT
I REALLY want to read a story about a 'tattered piano' now.
The Curse of the Ribbed Kettle
A Horror Story by fudgetusk
Whilst investigating the death of a local scout, a fat accountant called adam beast uncovers a legend about a supernaturally-cursed, ribbed kettle circulating throughout London. As soon as anyone uses the kettle, he or she has exactly 80 days left to live.
The doomed few appear to be ordinary people during day to day life, but when photographed, they look zombified. A marked person feels like a cosy dog to touch.
adam gets hold of the kettle, refusing to believe the superstition. A collage of images flash into his mind: a blonde ostrich balancing on an evil scout, an old newspaper headline about a motor accident, a hooded puppy ranting about warts and a drinking well located in a cold place.
When adam notices his eyebrows have dog-like properties, he realises that the curse of the ribbed kettle is true and calls in his batman, a private detective called tracy sloth, to help.
tracy examines the kettle and willingly submits herself to the curse. She finds that the same visions flash before his eyes. She finds the blonde ostrich balancing on an evil scout particularly chilling. She joins the queue for a supernatural death.
adam and tracy pursue a quest to uncover the meaning of the visions, starting with a search for the hooded puppy. Will they be able to stop the curse before their time is up?
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