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Post by Craig Herbertson on Dec 24, 2014 11:13:43 GMT
Day twenty-four. Relax, your torture is so nearly at an end. Chrissie Demant The lazy commentator will always have it that " John Llewellyn Probert writes in the tradition of the Hammer and Amicus films", which he does - when he's not writing in the traditions of, among others, Sir Charles Birkin, Chetwynd-Hayes, 'Alex White' and .... John Llewellyn Probert. Recently voted the most immaculately groomed man in history of the universe for the nth consecutive year, the Right Hon. Lord Probert's macabre works include such terrifying collections as The Faculty Of Terror (Gray Friar, 2006), Coffin Nails (Ash Tree, 2008), The Catacombs Of Fear (Gray Friar, 2009), Against The Darkness (Screaming Dreams, 2009) and Wicked Delights (Atomic Fez, 2010). His BFS award-winning novella Nine Deaths of Dr. Valentine (Spectral Press, 2012) has spawned a recently published sequel, The Hammer Of Dr. Valentine, which, at time of writing I can only hazard will end up embedded in somebody's skull at the very least. His on-line blog, House Of Mortal Cinema, is, as name suggests, devoted to horror movies of a decidedly 'filmed in disturb-o-vision' bent. You can share in Lord P.'s adventures past, present and future, via the official site, the home of the haunted jpeg. Today's story? It may share its title with a slushy Wham Christmas hit, but this Last Christmas is a whole different snowball fright. My thanks to the great man for sharing! Dr. Kevorkian will see you now ..... Great story.
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Post by dem bones on Dec 24, 2014 11:26:07 GMT
Very true. Entire career of George Michael justified at a single stroke. Credits and thanks time. The 5th Vault Advent Calendar was brought you by; Mary Ann Allen, Charles Black, Marion Bondage, Andy Boot, Ramsey Campbell, Roland Caine, Chrissie Demant, James Doig, Paul Finch, Craig Herbertson, Johnny Mains, Franklin Marsh, Dame Franklinetta Marsh, Monkey the Magnificent ("I supervised!"), Thana Niveau, Reggie Oliver, Rosemary Pardoe, Michel Parry, Gary Power, John Llewellyn Probert, David A. Riley, Drew Salzen, Anna Taborska and (artists models) Ant & Justyna .... ....With - we hope they didn't mind! - involuntary help from Oriol Bath, Sir Charles Birkin, Miriam Allen deFord, August Derleth, Ernest Favenc, John Gawsworth, Sir Rupert Grayson, Richard Middleton, Hugh Orford, Viola Bowker Ririe, and H. R. Wakefield. Equally important to the enterprise - Vault is a collective - those who take the time and trouble to read and comment upon the stories, offer encouragement, criticise, curse, plug us elsewhere, and generally keep the exercise just the right side of worthwhile, be it on here or in private correspondence. Thank you Craig, Mark, Pulphack, James, JoJo, Ripper, Killercrab, Justin, Paul Finch, Dr. Terror, Dr. Strange, David. A. Riley, Mike Brough, Thana, and, playing a blinder, our new friend, ohthehorror. (All that, and I bet Santa's fixed it that I still left somebody out. If so, my sincere apologies, it wasn't intentional! Trust me, I'd so tell you if it was). Best swishes & bloody kisses to each and everyone one of you. I hope you have a special/ beautiful/ peaceful/ strange/ morbid/ horrible Christmas [delete to suit preference]. Michel, wherever you are, I hope you approve. Who is this lovely young lady? You'll be meeting her shortly ...
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Post by pulphack on Dec 24, 2014 14:36:34 GMT
Great stuff from Lord P and a fitting end to this year's calendar. A sort of updated Machen thing going on (kind of), and told with a grim twinkle.
This year and catching up on past years has taught me one thing: I need to read things that were published after 1979 more often.
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Post by Johnlprobert on Dec 24, 2014 17:17:43 GMT
Many thanks for posting the story Mr D, and for giving me the dubious honour of the Xmas Eve slot on the vault - you know how much I appreciate such a gesture! Please also convey my sincere gratitude to the Bride for the splendid illustration that accompanied it!
Huge thanks to your good self for keeping this place running for the last year. I don't post much but I do pop in as often as I can and it's getting to be like a favourite pub / bookshop / call girl who knows just want you need and when you need it. Long may it and your dreadful self continue! And say hello to Monkey for me - he'll know what I mean ;-)
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Post by ripper on Dec 24, 2014 18:32:52 GMT
I can't believe that it is already day 24 of the calendar--the last 24 days have just flown by. I always look forward to a John Probert story, so Pulphack's post has just increased my anticipation for my reading of it later on tonight. Thank you to everyone involved in this year's calendar and a very Merry Christmas to everyone on the board.
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Post by dem bones on Dec 24, 2014 20:08:33 GMT
I can't believe that it is already day 24 of the calendar--the last 24 days have just flown by. Too true! Its the fastest way I know of losing a month, fair flies past. Many thanks for posting the story Mr D, and for giving me the dubious honour of the Xmas Eve slot on the vault - you know how much I appreciate such a gesture! Please also convey my sincere gratitude to the Bride for the splendid illustration that accompanied it! Huge thanks to your good self for keeping this place running for the last year. I don't post much but I do pop in as often as I can and it's getting to be like a favourite pub / bookshop / call girl who knows just want you need and when you need it. Long may it and your dreadful self continue! And say hello to Monkey for me - he'll know what I mean ;-) Thank you for your (typically) kind words, y' worship, the touching "pub/ bookshop/ call girl" analogy alone could bring tears to a glass eye. The 24th December slot is dubious honour indeed, but then, they are the ones most worth having. Monkey has asked me to wish his ESTEEMED COLLEAGUES Lord & Lady Probert a very Happy Christmas with LOTS OF PRESENTS! He'd type it himself were he not busy laying waste to the satsumas (Brick Lane market, Sundays. £1 a bowl. Nice plump juicy ones, mind, no rubbish). Chrissie likewise sends her best to "the lovely Thana and Mr. Fab!" (i.e., you; give me strength), " ... and Franklin, Ripper, Andy Bugg, Charles, Craig, Andreas, Anna, Mr. Brewer, Justin, Matt, Saucy, Paul, Ramsey, Dr. Strange, Mr. Proof, Mr. Reilly, and all the other lovely people who've kept that thing (ie, me! Of all the ... !!!) out of my hair for a few hours every day." Great stuff from Lord P and a fitting end to this year's calendar. A sort of updated Machen thing going on (kind of), and told with a grim twinkle. This year and catching up on past years has taught me one thing: I need to read things that were published after 1979 more often. I think most of all, I'm so pleased you got something out of it, pulps. See you early in the new year for one of our antiquarian book hunts down the pub.
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Post by ohthehorror on Dec 24, 2014 23:51:18 GMT
It's been wonderful to wake up to a new story ever day, well new to me anyway. I've also been pointed in the direction of a new author whose book 'For Those Who Dream Monsters' I'm assured by Amazon is even now winging it's way to me. I truly can't wait for it to arrive. So thanks demonik, it's been a real pleasure. You did a fantastic job. Merry Christmas everyone...
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Post by Craig Herbertson on Dec 25, 2014 5:25:49 GMT
Decided not to pretend I have any morals, sense of propriety or a social conscience and wish everyone a merry Xmas today when I should be enjoying something like 'family time' or a 'real life' rather than being on the internet.
'...favourite pub / bookshop / call girl who knows just want you need and when you need it' Lord Probert as always manages to score a hat-trick in expressing exactly what the Vault is all about - marvelous. This exactly expresses my feelings. Thanks to one and all and particularly our heinous host, Dem. Thoroughly enjoyed the Vault year in general and particularly the advent calendar. Thanks to David for having faith in The Heavenmakers and taking the time despite his own horrendously busy schedule.
Have a gruesome Xmas.
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Post by dem bones on Dec 25, 2014 6:21:23 GMT
Decided not to pretend I have any morals, sense of propriety or a social conscience and wish everyone a merry Xmas today when I should be enjoying something like 'family time' or a 'real life' rather than being on the internet. I don't know what it is, but there's just something about Christmas seems to bring out the best in you Craig. Lord P.'s "it's getting to be like a favourite pub / bookshop / call girl who knows just want you need and when you need it" is indeed very beautiful but "deluge of juvenile pigs baying" (© P. Campbell, master of literature) remains my all-time favourite. I get a warm glow all over whenever I think of that superb appraisal. It's been wonderful to wake up to a new story ever day, well new to me anyway. I've also been pointed in the direction of a new author whose book 'For Those Who Dream Monsters' I'm assured by Amazon is even now winging it's way to me. I truly can't wait for it to arrive. Thats lovely. I hope you enjoy 'Monsters' and that you share your thoughts with us when you read it! And a very Merry Christmas to you, too. Now, will somebody please explain to me while I'm sat here still posting my rubbish when there's a perfectly good 24 hour off-licence around the corner ....
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Post by monkey the magnificent on Dec 25, 2014 6:57:36 GMT
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Post by ripper on Dec 26, 2014 16:07:11 GMT
JLP's story really threw me. I wasn't expecting it to go in that direction--good one, John :-). Also, very funny--and sadly accurate--radio broadcast. Very fitting culmination to this year's calendar.
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Post by Johnlprobert on Dec 26, 2014 20:29:16 GMT
JLP's story really threw me. I wasn't expecting it to go in that direction--good one, John :-). Also, very funny--and sadly accurate--radio broadcast. Very fitting culmination to this year's calendar. Thanks very much, Ripper! Very kind of you.
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Post by dem bones on Dec 27, 2014 13:40:35 GMT
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Post by dem bones on Dec 30, 2014 6:49:02 GMT
Christmas may be over, but some benevolent souls are still in a giving mood so we will see out the year with two additional stories to download, one original, one recently rediscovered. Thanks first to Johnny Mains for providing today's dubious hangover remedy, a rare work of short fiction by legendary Pan Book of Horror editor, Herbert Van Thal. John tells us the story "was first published in his début collection, Child Performer (1933), and reprinted in The Mask & Other Stories, (Noose and Gibbet, 2011), collecting together all of Van Thal's known stories and most of his introductions to his horror anthologies." Thanks to Johnny Mains Attachments:THE MASK van thal.pdf (43.01 KB)
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Post by Craig Herbertson on Dec 30, 2014 15:20:47 GMT
Christmas may be over, but some benevolent souls are still in a giving mood so we will see out the year with two additional stories to download, one original, one recently rediscovered. Thanks first to Johnny Mains for providing today's dubious hangover remedy, a rare work of short fiction by legendary Pan Book of Horror editor, Herbert Van Thal. John tells us the story "was first published in his début collection, Child Performer (1933), and reprinted in The Mask & Other Stories, (Noose and Gibbet, 2011), collecting together all of Van Thal's known stories and most of his introductions to his horror anthologies." Thanks to Johnny Mains Swift ending which might have marred a great tale? Thought it had real elements of genius in it.
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