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Post by kooshmeister on Jun 14, 2014 2:14:57 GMT
It's the end of World War II. Amid a shootout between American soldiers and his own troops, the nefarious Dr. Josef Mengele escapes Germany in a plane with something in a weird-looking machine. Flash forward to modern day Antarctica where scientists Paige and Mark are out on the ice drilling for core samples, when they uncover the (surprisingly well-preserved) Nazi plane Mengele escaped in.
Suddenly gas mask Nazis! The Nazis politely but firmly insist they come with them. And by politely I mean they clobber Mark and kidnap him and Paige, then throw a potato masher grenade to destroy the drill, the plane and the scientists' snowmobile. Except - it's an energy grenade! Boom! The evidence vanishes in a CGI explosion.
They awaken in a dark cell somewhere. Nazi soldiers in gas masks come and take Mark away, where he ends up strapped to a table with our pal Dr. Mengele (who hasn't aged a day!), who surgically removes his face because reasons.
Back at the scientists' base camp, we meet Paige's kinda sorta boyfriend, the flannel-shirted microbiologist Lucas, who butts heads with chief scientist, the very, very blonde Dr. Reistad (Jake Busey and his horse teeth) who is very much an ends-justifies-the-means kinda guy with a bad track record of losing his teams in reckless endeavors. The other scientists include Reistad's Norwegian mountain climber girlfriend Silje, Brian, Jewish scientist Blechman, curly-haired Rahul, May, and finally Angela.
When Paige and Mark don't report in, they all pile into a sno-cat an drive off looking for them. They find the destroyed plane and stuff and follow the footprints that their friends' kidnappers helpfully left for them, which end at a great wonkin' hole which they climb down.
Back in Nazi Land, Paige escapes her cell and discovers that Mark has been skinned (!) and his face has been transplanted onto Nazi soldier Hoederer. She's recaptured and Mengele is about to do something really nasty with a saw, until he realizes she's of German descent as well as a doctor, and is extremely interested in what she has to say about modern medicine.
Meanwhile, the others discover Nazi Land is at the center of the Earth (just like the title) and consists of a gigantic cavern with a jungle and a huge artificial sun. They head towards some buildings and go inside the first one they come across and get surrounded by Nazis in gas masks, and then Mengele appears with Paige in a Nazi uniform. She's one of them now! And so is Reistad! Who knew the jerkish blonde guy with the Teutonic name was gonna turn into a Nazi!
Mengele reveals he and his men are basically undead, kept alive by organ and tissue transplants, but they still keep rotting. He enlists the assistance of the captured scientists to help solve the problem of them decaying. Except Blechman. Upon learning he's Jewish, Mengele blasts him out of existence with his laser-firing Walther P38. 'Cause he's a dick like that.
Can the others escape?!
Ugh!
It's like Wolfenstein and Iron Sky had a twisted mutant baby. One without a decent budget. Containing such cheerful things as a fetal abortion with a vacuum cleaner, zombie gang-rape, and two scenes of someone having their face ripped off, plus Robo-Hitler (!), Jake Busey as a mad scientist, zombies melting from being injected with flesh-eating bacteria, and a laser-firing Walther P38 that completely disintegrates people. I dunno if the movie is offensive, stupid, hilarious, disgusting, or somehow crazy- awesome... or all of the above. Did I mention zombie gangbang?
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