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Post by dem on May 12, 2014 10:03:32 GMT
Before Sky, before the forums and blogs, before corporate-speak and the rise of the abominable phone-in warrior, there was .... Martin Lacey (ed,) - El Tel Was A Space Alien: The Best of the Alternative Football Press Volume 1 (Juma, 1989) Martin Lacey - Fanzine History
Lennie Lawrence (Charlton Athletic. F. C.)
Chelsea Independent
When Sunday Comes (Liverpool)
Leyton Orientear
The Elmslie Ender (Wealdstone)
Arsenal Echo Echo
Blue Print (Man City)
Eagle Eye (Crystal Palace)
Flashing Blade (Sheff U.)
The Pie (Notts. C.)
The City Gent (Bradford City)
Heartbeat (Hearts)
Just Another Wednesday (Sheff Wed.)
Tired And Weary (Birmingham City)Blurb: EL TEL WAS A SPACE ALIEN. STEVE WILLIAMS ATE MY HAMSTER. The headlines which didn’t shock the nation, but filled the pages of a new breed of publication called the football fanzine. But the genre grew from something more than a desire to crack crude and partisan jokes about opposing teams. Football fans are under attack from all sides, taken for granted by the clubs, ignored by the authorities, apparently despised by the government and spasmodically sniped at by hooliganism. In the latter part of the 80s they have started to hit back. Positive. Constructive. Loyal. Angry. In this book you will find the true voice of the terraces and the real spirit which keeps football alive, a celebration of a vibrant era in which the game as we know it will be saved or destroyed.  Compiled, published and very brilliantly introduced by Martin Lacey, the co-founder of Sheffield's long-lived electro noise merchants, They Must Be Russians, among other glorious misadventures. Fourteen chapters, each a grab-bag of articles, super-grainy photo's, cartoons and weird bits from a specific fanzine. As with the bulk of their vampire/ goth equivalents, in terms of production values, the featured 'zines were more Sniffin' Glue than Paperback Fanatic, a deliberately ugly alternative to the official match-day programme (glossy, bland, quick to reassure that everything in the garden is rosy, forget all that propaganda in the local press about the chairman planning to sell off the ground to a supermarket chain because it ain't gonna happen!). The day's fanzine's were rightly sceptical of what they read in both the press and the programme and dared ask the questions on their fellow supporters lips ("How can a club which performed the non-league double just two years ago be in such a state that it has to rely on Supporters Club players to make up a team?" "Why is that banana fizz drink they sell at the refreshment bars so horrible?," etc). This pessimistic-realistic viewpoint did not sit well with the blazers because events and spiv chairmen had a habit of proving the cut, paste & photocopy mob absolutely right. Almost without exception, the 'zines were prohibited from sale on the terraces (unbelievably, Wealdstone's The Elmslie Ender was banned from 212 grounds). The sense of injustice not only fired-up the editors and contributors, it increased their popularity. Who at boardroom level would warn against the quality of jumbo sausage available from the Fat Fryer's burger van in the West Stand at Orient? Where else could you read eulogies to the open plan toilets at Rochdale FC. or directions to 'Carry out corner'? More importantly, who else would take the fight to the despised Colin Moynihan and his ill-thought and potentially catastrophic id card scheme? Aside from providing hours of mirth and much enlightenment, El Tel Was A Space Alien is even sociologically important in that it provides provide a snapshot of the fan"s lot directly post the twin tragedies at Bradford (yesterday marked the 29th anniversary) and Heysel when to follow the game was to be vilified as a social leper by press, politicians, police and large sections of the public. Two years later, El Tel ... spawned a sequel. Some of the best was yet to come .... |
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Post by pulphack on May 13, 2014 5:28:54 GMT
Ah, those were the days... still are for some clubs, though message boards have taken the place for some - indeed, the Leyton Orienteer has suffered in recent years from having a couple of serious types at the helm in quick succession that have made it a low rent WSC - worthy and dull rather than funny and pertinent, with only the occasional flash of the old bite and humour. People still talk about the Fat Fryer in awed tones, as much for his manners and strange family as his awful food. The same can be said of most clubs, I suspect, as you drop below Premiershit and Championship levels of money. My favourite zine from back then is Voice Of The Beehive, the Brentford zine - but that's partly because it was done by Rob Chester, the have-bass-will-play punbk rock bassist of choice when Tony Barber isn't about.
I had something similar to this but it got 'borrowed' about a decade back and never returned. Even though it was years out of date, it was still fascinating to see how little had changed at some clubs.
Incidentally, I note that Clapton FC have a heavy anti-fascist following with their Clapton Ultras... along with Dulwich Hamlet, proof that down the pyramid (not non-league - we all use it, but it's not true really, is it, cos they are in leagues)is where it's at for the discerning footy fan.
PS - commiserations to Wealdstone on missing out on the cup the other week - even Scotty couldn't win everything this year!
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Post by dem on May 13, 2014 13:43:19 GMT
Ah, those were the days... still are for some clubs, though message boards have taken the place for some - indeed, the Leyton Orienteer has suffered in recent years from having a couple of serious types at the helm in quick succession that have made it a low rent WSC - worthy and dull rather than funny and pertinent, with only the occasional flash of the old bite and humour. People still talk about the Fat Fryer in awed tones, as much for his manners and strange family as his awful food.  Eat y'self fitter! Good Luck to Leyton Orient in tonight's play-off semi 2nd leg!Incidentally, I note that Clapton FC have a heavy anti-fascist following with their Clapton Ultras... along with Dulwich Hamlet, proof that down the pyramid (not non-league - we all use it, but it's not true really, is it, cos they are in leagues)is where it's at for the discerning footy fan. According to posters on the Urban75 forum, there's a different dynamic at Clapton in that they are mostly nouveau whereas the Bagpuss-lynching Dulwich rabble are a mix of long-term masochists and bearded revolutionaries, but its all good stuff. Am planning an expedition to Champions Hill next season, so will attempt a vault satellite link up if i can commandeer a laptop! And speaking of Bolshies & Trots:  Early They Must Be Russians promo flyer! L-R: Martin X. Russian, Russ Russian, Tony Russian.And here's that sequel (uninformed comments to follow). Martin Lacey (ed.) - Get Your Writs Out: Another Dose Of The Alternative Football Press (Juma, 1991) Introduction
Rodney Rodney (General interest)
King Of The Kippax (Man. City)
The Hanging Sheep (Leeds Utd.)
Voice of the Valley (Charlton Atheletic)
Through The Wind & Rain (Liverpool)
Out Of Court (Bournemouth)
A Load Of Bull (Wolverhampton Wanderers)
The Lad Done Brilliant (General interest)
Brian Moore's Head Looks Uncannily Like London Planetarium (Gillingham)
The Crooked Spireite (Chesterfield)
A Kick Up The R's (QPR)
Brian (Notts Forest)
Hull, Hell and Happiness/ On Cloud 7 (Hull City)
Blow Football (General interest)Blurb Once upon a time fanzine sellers spent frustrating hours explaining "No, mate, it's not the programme!" These days programme sellers should be sent out with instructions to tell potential purchasers, "Sorry, it's not a fanzine". The programme is what you buy if you want to look back in twenty years and say "I was there". The fanzine is what you buy if you want to know what's really going on at a club, what supporters have to say for themselves, if you want the uncensored version, if you want to be entertained as well as informed. Fanzines, the best of them at least, are written by people who have no motivation other than their dedication to the game and the team they follow. Their knowledge and enthusiasm pervades some of the best football writing anywhere. This book is Juma's second compilation of the alternative football press, a selection from fifteen different magazines covering teams in all four divisions of the English Football League. |
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Post by pulphack on May 14, 2014 7:23:57 GMT
Leyton Orient - job 2/3rds done, and just the Wembley leg to conquer... bloody hell, we've made a play-off final! Will it be Preston or Rotherham? Both difficult propositions, though the prospect of Rotherham would see us against Alex Revell, the striker Russell Slade mysteriously sold two weeks into the season a couple of years back, leaving us without a striker (there are rumours, etc), and AR with a point to prove; and also against the scourge of right-thinking footy fans, Fatty Evans, the convicted fraudster who left Boston languishing several leagues down the pyramid after his damage had been righted. Horrible man... but, to be fair, bloody good lower league manager.
Indeed, Dem, as I understand it from chums, Clapton's new fan base comes from local anarchos and politicos of a younger stripe, centered around the Anarchist Bookshop down your way€. An Orient XI is playing them this Saturday, so may pop along to take a look.
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Post by Craig Herbertson on May 14, 2014 11:53:00 GMT
Just love the football threads. Joking aside the fanzine was an enormous power to the people thing. As a matter of interest Leyton Orient are big pals with my, team Heart of Midlothian because they had a very similar history in the great war - we often meet up with their fans and are constantly trying to arrange a friendly. Great bunch of guys and many of our lads go and see them when they can. link |
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Post by pulphack on May 14, 2014 15:05:55 GMT
Pre internet and smart phones, fanzines WERE social networking, and an incredibly powerful tool. I know technology makes it easier, but somehow that can dilute the messages and fervor as you really had to be bothered to do it back then, and that fervor translated into the words in a way that things like blogging sometimes lose.
Leyton Orient, Hearts, and several other clubs had regiments and divisions made up of players who volunteered. Each club lost players. LOFC have a memorial, paid for by funds raised by the supporters club, on the Somme and organise yearly visits. Richard McFadden died dragging wounded soldiers across no-mans land and was posthumously awarded a VC, which is nice, but probably was little comfort to his family. While idiots like Gove revive the spectre of jingoism in this centenary year, the memorials for footy regiments alone bring it on home and are a reminder of that thing we all know - war is shite, even when its unavoidable (eg WWII, though bankers and industrialists responsible for installing Uncle Adolf as they thought he was more controllable than a Weimar Republic - excuse spelling - could have avoided all this, but that's a debatable point, I concede.). When it was completely unnecessary, however...
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Post by dem on May 14, 2014 18:42:53 GMT
Indeed, Dem, as I understand it from chums, Clapton's new fan base comes from local anarchos and politicos of a younger stripe, centered around the Anarchist Bookshop down your way€. An Orient XI is playing them this Saturday, so may pop along to take a look. Yeah, that makes all kinds of sense, and it's a straight journey along the A13 from Angel Alley to Clapton's Old Spotted Dog Ground. £6 to get in, so that should be a doable next season. Let us know how you get on. and i hope you've been fitted for your Wembley suit. it's surprising how well El Tel ... holds up given that its unlikely the source material was always written with longevity in mind. No accounting for taste, etc., but for this reader at least, Birmingham's Tired And Weary, The Leyton Orienteer, Bradford's The City Gent, Liverpool's When Sunday Comes, Wealdstone's The Elmslie Ender (no bias: the post-success soap opera was by now in full swing and with raw sewage like that you could hardly fail), and Man City's Blue Print (on the birth of the inflatable banana republic) come out of Vol. 1 particularly well. Mick Dickinson's After The Fire - Life Goes On ( The City Gent) is as sobering today as it was then and will be a century from now. When Sunday Comes editor Ian Tilley deserves huge credit for taking on the less savoury elements roaming the Kop. Some of the publications are a little obsessive in their loathing of a local rival, but they all got something. The editotial, and Steve Beauchampe's afterword concerning the formation of the Football Supporters Association, are both spot on. one of my best reads of 2014 and no mistake! Pre internet and smart phones, fanzines WERE social networking, and an incredibly powerful tool. I know technology makes it easier, but somehow that can dilute the messages and fervor as you really had to be bothered to do it back then, and that fervor translated into the words in a way that things like blogging sometimes lose. Agree with every word. and i like that there was a beginning and end with each issue of a fanzine, once it was printed, you couldn't change it. Today's social media is fab too, but can't help thinking we've lost something along the way. |
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Post by Craig Herbertson on May 15, 2014 12:16:30 GMT
Pre internet and smart phones, fanzines WERE social networking, and an incredibly powerful tool. I know technology makes it easier, but somehow that can dilute the messages and fervor as you really had to be bothered to do it back then, and that fervor translated into the words in a way that things like blogging sometimes lose. Can't help agreeing. It reminds me of meeting Mike Don of Dreamberry Wine fame. Postal catalogue bought. Round at his wee house near the City ground surrounded in millions of old paperbacks. There was actually no room for anything else in the house. Everything was a bus journey or a letter. Excitement opening the package, finding a rarity in the junk shop. Talking with the book dealers and antique men bemoaning the state of the modern world. Most of us would have topped ourselves if we knew the grim future. Remember the Scot's lad at the Manchester Corn Exchange who was always selling Nazi paraphernalia? - top wee bloke with a now less than PC interest in WWII. Fireball XL5 puppets for sixty quid in one of the stalls. The football fanzines like their music equivalent were the internet forum then but at a much slower pace. Feck it, I'm old. |
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Post by dem on May 29, 2014 16:48:14 GMT
Another foopball interlude. Here's Bob The Ball, from Get Your Writs Out via Adrian Brown's "soccer comic zine", The Lad Done Brilliant #1 (c. 1989) Also: Dave Thomas (ed.) - The Best Of The Football Fanzines (Marksman Publications, Autumn 1989) Quentin Percival Rogers - About Fanzines
Dave Thomas - The Selection
Penpusher - Suffer the Little Children ( Brian Moores' Head Looks Uncannily Like London Planetarium #3) The Unluckiest Man in the Entire World ( The Soup #2) How T'Cup Were Won — Part I ( Bernard of the Bantams #1) Steve Beauchampe - The Loony in the Seats ( Tired & Weary #5) Pre-Match Entertainment ( The Crooked Spireite #13) Simon Burrage - A Trip Through Metroland ( Chairboys Gas #7) Danny McCall - Football, Bloody Football ( The Absolute Game #13) Midfield Utility Man - Radio Radio ( The Absolute Game #3) Dial-a-Cliche ( Hit The Bar #11) Phil Ball - Blundell Blunders: No.3 ( Sing When We're Fishing #3) Nigel Green - ...And Here's One I Made Earlier ( Wise Men Say #9) Steve Spartak - "West Ham Let in Five Again" ( Hit The Bar #11) Les Bence: Manager's Notes ( Les Bence's Manager's Notes) Hubby Hits Back ( The Soup #3) Peter Wakefield - Gone West ( Off The Ball #15) Paul Richards - Cinders in Boots ( A Kick Up The R's Xmas Not-So-Special) Andy Lyons - A Modest Proposal ( When Saturday Comes #13) Bill Hodson - Autobiography: Soccer Balls? ( City Gent #22) Brian Cross - Really Annoying People ( Brian #8) Rick Everitt - Battle for the Valley ( Voice Of The Valley #11) Bill of Wrongs ( Wise Men Say #8) John Anthony - Highgate Cup Horror ( Light At The End Of The Tunnel #2) Timelord - Memories of Milburn ( The Wee Red Vol.2 #4) Surveying the Damage ( When Saturday Comes #28) John Duncan - But First The Bad News ... ( Off The Ball #15 [?] Say No To ID Cards ( Off The Ball #15) Directory Of FanzinesPublished within weeks of El Tel Was a Space Alien - if even carries a full page ad for Mr. Lacey's book on the inside back cover - a glossy magazine, available from all good newsagents, etc.. The publisher was hoping to make a regular thing of it, but to best of my knowledge, The Best Of The Football Fanzines didn't make it to a second issue. The début is ... promising. We've no wish to be horrible, so will draw a discreet veil over the original artwork save to say that IT IS ALWAYS BETTER TO REPRODUCE THE ARTICLES DIRECT FROM SOURCE. Favourite bits. Steve Beauchampe's The Looney In The Seats is a tribute to a terminally irate Brummie whose antics provided welcome distraction from matters on the pitch. Radio, Radio celebrates the immortal 'tranny man' (every club once had one). Other items are so much harder to take, notably John Duncan's impassioned, angry and utterly depressed reaction to the day's press coverage of the Hillsborough disaster. Highgate Cup Horror is a sobering eyewitness account of a tragedy during a 1967 amateur cup tie when a lightening bolt felled several players, claiming the life of Highgate United's Tommy Alden. In A Trip Through Metroland, a Wycombe Wanderers fan travels to the homes of the once illustrious now defunct Isthmian League veterans Ilford and Leytonstone to find out what became of their grounds .... |
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Post by dem on Jun 8, 2014 6:46:09 GMT
I had something similar to this but it got 'borrowed' about a decade back and never returned. Even though it was years out of date, it was still fascinating to see how little had changed at some clubs. Was it this one, by any chance? Phil Shaw (ed.) - Whose Game Is It Anyway? (Argus, 1989) Blurb: The most unexpected and welcome publishing event of the 1980s has been the rapid and spectacular emergence of football fanzines.
From 'When Saturday Comes' to 'Sing When We're Fishing', 'The Memoirs of Seth Bottomley' to 'Not The View', and 'Brian Moore's Head' to 'Fortune's Always Hiding,' the fanzines exuberantly communicate the humour, irreverence, insight and affection which the 'people's game' needs if it is to overcome the setbacks and tragedies of recent years. They offer their views on a range of issues from ID cards, racism and ground safety to the state of non-League pies, Super League hairstyles and directors who don't know their Arsenal from their elbows.
With nearly 200 fanzines in circulation and more than a million sold in the 1988-89 season, they are the true barometers of terrace opinion. This selection of the funniest and best articles from fanzines across the British Isles triumphantly demonstrates to whom football really belongs — the supporters. Whose game is it anyway?
Phil Shaw has been watching and playing football for 30 years. He has written about sport and music for 'Time Out', 'The Observer' and 'The Guardian' and is now sports news editor of 'The Independent'. He is co-author of the best-selling 'Book of Football Quotations', and was one of the first journalists to write about fanzines.Mr. Shaw casts his net wide, sampling scores of 'zines and the scrapbook approach suits. Another excellent introductory essay, the sarcastically-titled The Fanzine Phenomenon, identifies the mighty Foul! and punk's DIY ethic as over-riding influences, with a bit of Viz lobbed in for added ugly appeal. A welcome if brief 'Foreword' by John Peel puts the great man firmly on the side of the angels versus "such tomfoolery as the ID cards scheme and talk of Super leagues." Best of all, Whose Game Is It Anyway and Mr. Lacey's winning double compliment each other perfectly. Now i've some idea what to do with worthless life should dealing with Vault's recent spam epidemic become too much of a f**k**g misery. |
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Post by pulphack on Jun 18, 2014 8:08:00 GMT
Belated reply - work, new grandchildren, etc - but no, that wasn't the one. The one I had consisted of a number of zine eds writing about their clubs and their views of the game in general, and had a white cover. It was a thick, A-format p/b rather than oversized. I wish I could remember the bloody title! Or who walked off with it... (I think I know, Robert Bartram of Voice Of the Beehive). God, I hate football right now. Fifty quid for a ticket to look at Subbuteo sized players, 11 of whom lacked the requisite at the appropriate time. Harsh of me to say, I know, but then I will freely admit to bottling spectacular moments in my own so-called career, which is why it's in the state it is. So I recognised the signs immediately...
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Post by dem on Jun 19, 2014 4:43:20 GMT
Belated reply - work, new grandchildren, etc - but no, that wasn't the one. The one I had consisted of a number of zine eds writing about their clubs and their views of the game in general, and had a white cover. It was a thick, A-format p/b rather than oversized. I wish I could remember the bloody title! Or who walked off with it... (I think I know, Robert Bartram of Voice Of the Beehive). God, I hate football right now. Fifty quid for a ticket to look at Subbuteo sized players, 11 of whom lacked the requisite at the appropriate time. Harsh of me to say, I know, but then I will freely admit to bottling spectacular moments in my own so-called career, which is why it's in the state it is. So I recognised the signs immediately... Thanks for the info, mr. hack, Actually, it's quite a relief that the book in question isn't Whose Game Is It ... as it means another mystery title to hunt down, and those titles mentioned above have been among my most enjoyable reads of 2014. They are so very Vault! |
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Post by pulphack on Jun 19, 2014 7:45:48 GMT
... so very vault, eh? Well, for the non-footy people here I can assure you that supporting any team that isn't Premiership top four (or any national league equivalent),is mostly pure horror...
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Post by dem on Dec 27, 2014 14:55:47 GMT
Christmas present to self was trip to Ruislip via early morning prowl around Wealdstone for Piranharama Conference (South) clash with Sutton Utd. Match programme remains Paperback Fanatic standard, and the volunteers have worked wonders with ground improvements but in all honesty, this was a shocker of a match, the pass-out ticket (you need it to leave the ground for social club) inadvertently summing up the first 45 minutes perfectly. Maybe it was the 1 pm kick off, maybe collective hangovers, maybe the icy cold, but advertisement for the non-league game this was not. Strangely muted atmosphere, too. The Sutton faithful, far outnumbered in crowd of 802 (the Pirhanarama South's second highest of the day behind Stalebuns impressive 1132 for local derby with Hemel Hempstead. To put this into context, league leaders Boreham Wood attracted a lonely 228 for home clash with Bishop Stortford) did their bit, but, like their team, home fans didn't really get going until 90th minute, barely deserved equaliser. Saw Raider, resplendent in trademark brown leather jacket, quietly enjoying a pint in the social club at half time. Young woman approaches with sheepish mum in tow, explains mum would like to have her photo taken with him. The pocket-sized pop sensation ( You Got No Fans is indie charts Christmas #1 and, incredibly, has reached #5 in the nationals) smiles, obliges. Fair play to Mr. Hill. The general consensus has it that he's taken to his unlikely ambassador role with good humour, commendable patience and not a little charm. Train journey home was likewise a bit of a nightmare, but have perked up considerably after receiving proudest personal compliment of 2014 as a by-product of otherwise forgettable adventure. "Martin, do you remember a bloke called Kev from the Lower Mead days? He came up to me during the game, can of Stella in his hand and looking well worn from life, but he said he knew you from the Lower Mead days, went to games with you etc. He just wanted to pass on his regards to you." - Elmslie Ender, Stonesnet forum. It is always so important to leave a good impression. |
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Post by Craig Herbertson on Dec 28, 2014 1:35:41 GMT
'It is always so important to leave a good impression.'Well done there Dem. No standards slipping. Did the Sutton forward mean this? www.youtube.com/watch?v=1aspLg3X4Rs&feature=youtu.be Looks like pinball. I've almost had more fun watching the wee fellow play in Staffel 6, kreisliga Nordrhine Westphalia than Heart of Midlothian FC this year. I say 'almost' as it has been an incredible year: Dropped a division, unbeaten in the league, club saved from liquidation, new pie stands to visit and compare against teams you didn't know still existed. Far better than the sanitized football of the upper echelons.
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