M. J. Roberts & John B. Ford - Assembly Of Rogues

[dem bones]

Martin Roberts & John B. Ford (eds.) - Assembly Of Rogues (Rainfall, 2005)

Desmond Knight

M. J. Roberts - An Introduction To The Insane

Simon Clark - The Burning Doorway
Tim Lebbon - Hell Came Down
Paul Kane - Homeland
Derek M. Fox - A Boy And His Dog
Mark Chadbourn - The King Of Rain
Paul Finch - The Bear Of Woodborough
Mark Valentine - Sea Citadels
Ramsey Campbell - Wilf: an excerpt from the novel The Overnight
Peter Crowther - Drifting Apart
Mark Morris - Losing It
James Newman - Tonight I sing My Blues For You
Graham Joyce - First, Catch Your Demon
John B. Ford - Dr. Denstein's Black Box

Interior artwork: Steve Samuels and Desmond Knight

Blurb:
This book combines with a DVD of the same name to bring you stories and interviews with the current UK Masters of Terror!
Martin Roberts and his Purple Rage Film company have travelled the UK to track down and interview the most eminent authors and publishers that form the heart and soul of the small press and professional horror World.
Here, in this strictly limited edition, you have the chance to be party to the thoughts and views of authors you will at last be able to put a face to, then go on and read their offerings in the shape of specially selected stories.
Last but by no means least, this rare package is completed by a CD featuring eight songs from one of the UK's most exciting and prolific bands, Stormclouds. 'Dark Dreams' gives us a sampler of some of their music from a variety of albums.

As mentioned elsewhere, this copy came bereft of bonus DVD and CD but can't say i'm too worried 'bout that. Five stories in and Assemby/ Assembly is shaping up very tidy.

Simon Clark - The Burning Doorway: Danny is working nights at the crematorium, a cushy number that merely requires his checking the burners are fully operational. Arthritis having cruelly put paid to his engineering career after thirty years loyal service, Danny is forced to accept whatever work is available, and this one's not so bad, although he could happily live without the strange and disturbing noises coming from within the furnace. Mr. Winters placates the new boy over the phone, assuring him it's nothing out of the ordinary, and "Believe me, Danny, I've heard a burning corpse actually sound as if it's singing. It nearly turned my hair white." The unnerving soundtrack continues until Danny can't resist a peek through the spyhole. The flaming dead are not only moving around within the oven, they're working. He has to admit the toiling corpses seem fully content with their lot. Maybe he should join them ...

Mark Morris - Losing It: " ... I went back to the flat, took her lighthouse Family CD's out of their cases and boiled them in a pan of water before drying them and putting them back. I didn't know if it would have any adverse effect on the sound, but it made me feel good. I'd always hated those bastards."

Rachel walks out on Steve, fed up with his couch-potato ways and lack of conversation about anything other than trashy films and books which hold absolutely no interest for her. So she's shacked up with that tosser Clement from her meditation classes but, if he's honest, Steve is not as heartbroken as he should be; now he can play his Clash albums whenever he likes and collect the entire set of Buffy The Vampire Slayer figurines without being made to feel a wankery. Yeah, he could get to like living alone - until the fingers sprout from his face and the beginnings of a third eye appears on his forehead. And that's just the not-too-bad aspect of his living nightmare. It gets worse, far worse, when the world's least sympathetic paramedics arrive in response to his panicked call to the Hospital.

Ramsey Campbell - Wilf: Not a great one for extracts from longer works, me, but Wilf scores as a strong stand-alone story in it's own right and, of course, now I wanna know what happens prior to/ after the event. Wilfred Lowell has mastered his dyslexia and landed a job in a Manchester bookshop. All is well until the fateful day when Fred Slater, an unwelcome face from his past, pays a visit to Texts purely to torment him. Either Slater has hexed the computer out of spite or Wilf's spelling has gone totally gaga again. The unwanted customer has him waste time hunting down a book on the psychology of cold calling, only to change his mind when Wilf eventually locates a likely title. Unable to shake the incident from his mind, Wilf fast unravels, living in dread of the next of Slater's threatened regular visits. His old enemy has achieved his aim.

A very Pan/Black Book/ Lord P. feel to this next.

John B. Ford - Dr. Denstein's Black Box: Denstein is a stage illusionist specialising in ghoulish live acid theatre. A sickening accident with vitriol early in career cost him his face, but his surgeon and mentor, the brilliant if controversial Dr. Andrew Manton, persuaded him to forgo his skin mask and use his ghastly appearance to advantage.

Acting on several complaints, Jefferson, of London's Council of Decency, writes Denstein to inform him that, with regret, he has recommended an injunction by passed against his tasteless brand of entertainment. While he, Jefferson, realises that the seemingly realistic on-stage deaths are a skilful piece of trickery - they would certainly neither scare or offend him! - he must act in the interests of the public. Denstein, who has already decided to ditch the shock tactics and go 'respectable', takes this as a challenge, and invites the censor to attend a private performance.

[dem bones]

Small press publications come in such locust-like quantities it must be the devil's own job keeping tabs on, let alone reading, them all, even were one so inclined. As a consequence, several gems slip under the radar, and to date Assemby of Rogues, is giving every impression of being one such. Or at least, have now completed seven of the stories, and not one ropey effort among them.

Paul Kane - Homeland: "Look at the set on that one. They look like bleedin' beach balls, they do." That's Barney Atkins, a veteran of the council's Blitz team, studying the form on page three of The Sun. Today the four man team - Barney, a giant Scott named Don McKenzie,, supervisor Miss Jemima "the Dragon Lady" Cauldecott, and Ian, a new recruit from the Job Centre - will tackle the dreaded Gable house. The old boy, known locally as 'Stig of the Dump,' was a compulsive hoarder whose last years were spent in dispute with a Council who deemed his home a public health hazard. The conflict between Mr. Gable and the Dragon Lady took on a personal aspect when the local newspaper ran a smear story about her replete with regulation unflattering photograph.

Mr. Gable got his wish and died at home. It was only when the unopened milk bottles ran columns deep on his doorstep that anyone thought to investigate, and what little was left of him sure didn't smell so good. The Blitz team are kitted out in anti-contamination suits, but it won't help them here. In death, as in life, Mr. Gable is determined to hang on to his property .... Hey, what you doing? Don't open the Tupperware Boxes!

Graham Joyce - First, Catch Your Demon: Karpathos, Greek Islands. Ryan hates scorpions. He's just squashed flat two of the creepy bastards with an iron skillet, but a third escaped. It's too hot to sleep indoors, so nothing for it but to head outside and grab a few hours in his rowing boat .... except a very beautiful, and very naked young woman has already commandeered it. Ryan's first reaction is extreme annoyance. He values his solitude, who is this brazen hussy to invade his space? Worse, Sasha tells him she's a writer. As somebody who has to deal with them for a living - he's an editor - Ryan detests contemporary authors as "whining, self-centred, immature psychopaths." In her favour, Sasha has an endless supply of dope stashed somewhere about her person, and her sex drive is insatiable. She's also incredibly competent at snaring scorpions ....

[dem bones]

Tim Lebbon - Hell Came Down: It's not rained for a year and now the whole country is ravaged by drought, famine and disease. A desperate people have put their faith in well-meaning but unbalanced Lucien the Rainmaker, and his attempts at raising a storm have resulted only in showers of frogs, cats, dogs, and mutant scorpions with worse to follow. His mentor traces the wayward wizard to a haunted courthouse knowing he must kill Lucien before he can call down God knows what on the world, but he's too late. Earth dies screaming.in a nightmare straight out of Hieronymus Bosch. Dark fantasy. Definitely Dark Fantasy!

Paul Finch - The Bear Of Woodborough: The first i read from Assemby, just didn't take down any notes until this rematch, and it's another hit. Much to the relief of he and his mother, Terry's father, notorious house-breaker John 'The Hood' Spears, is shot dead by police while resisting re=arrest following a prison break. Such was his danger to the public that Mrs. Spears and the boy were relocated to a remote Cotswolds Inn while he remained at large, the first time they've known peace and security in their lives. Terry was particularly impressed with the stuffed bear in the lobby which seemed to taking a liking to him. But that was 1971, and adult Terry has proved a chip off the old block, committing several burglaries to fund a drugs & alcohol habit. He is not a man to be crossed as girlfriend Cissie realises too late. After a covert visit to the Burns Unit of St. Dunstan's Hospital to ascertain she'll not be recovering from her injuries, Terry heads for the one place he felt happy. Will the bear remember him?

Derek M. Fox - A Boy And His Dog: Reading, Berks. His wealth and the old boy's network saw Copperhead supremo James Skinner escape with a paltry fine and suspended sentence for running down a boy walking his pet Alsation. A year on and Lisa a witness to the tragedy, who comforted the boy in his dying moments, is not best pleased when her detested boss, Jerry Crompton, demands she attend a business meeting at Copperhead, Skinner being a favoured client. Running late, Lisa is forced to take the slip road where the fatal 'accident' took place and sure enough, the boy in the Venom t-shirt and his pup are waiting for her. He wants her to pass on a message to Skinner, Crompton, PA Janice Slade and their perjuring cronies; "Tell them I'm on my way." He is, too, and the presentation for DEATH RATTLE, a visceral new kids computer game, will not pass without incident.

Peter Crowther - Drifting Apart: Twenty years married, Janey and Greg's relationship has lost its sparkle, their sex life atrophied, their terms of endearment meaningless. And now Greg's mysterious behaviour gives every indication that he is planning to murders her. First there was the sachet of rat poison in the shed after he warned her to keep out of there, now the sudden interest in their insurance policy. And does he really spend all those hours at the office? One thing's certain; an exclusive area like Forest Plains has no problem with rats, they're simply not welcome and wouldn't dare set paws in the place. Seems like a good time to buy a gun and take the fight to her spouse.

Just three stories to go and not a bad 'un to date.

[dem bones]

Mark Valentine - Sea Citadels: Featuring The Connoisseur, Mr. Valentine's "sleuth of the singular," whose pursuit of the arcane and esoteric brings him into the orbit of magician and showman Edgar Shepherd. Shepherd's 'enactments' combine elements of sorcery and performance art with occasional weird cricket. His spirited mischief in the disused lighthouse at Arkness off the Yorkshire coast conjures Athalria, a beautiful woman who may or may not be the guardian of the seven lost kingdoms.

It's not exactly a horror story in the Pierce Nace sense, more something you might expect to find in late nineteenth century decadent fiction - M. P. Sheil springs to mind.

James Newman - Tonight I sing My Blues For You: Late r&b veteran Blind Dawg Melton brings comfort to the recently bereaved with his private invitation cemetery gigs in Sleeping Meadows. Narrator Dave gets to say goodbye to Buddy, his murdered hippy pal.

Finally, perhaps the single finest story from a varied and hugely impressive selection.

Mark Chadbourn - The King Of Rain: "How can you be expected to cope when you don't know the rules? When you're trying to do the best you can, but you're hamstrung by immaturity or your own nature. Wouldn't it be terrible if that didn't count for anything? No mitigating circumstances anywhere in life. We're responsible for everything we do, even when we're blind to the repercussions. All of us, guilty and damned."

Angela Callis, cruelly abused by her mother as a child, is desperate for love and security but, being young and carefree, John only thinks of girls as another notch on the bedpost who, once won, lose their allure. Angela takes rejection hard - she hangs herself in his remote Derbyshire cottage. Now in his 'forties, John, who has not dared visit the now crumbling cottage since the tragedy, organises a trip in the Peak District for his employees under the guise of an executive team building exercise. Two of the four strong party are too jaded and cynical for their own good. Angela is up there waiting there for them ....

Stephen Jones chose the story for Best New Horror 8, and would later select The Ones We Leave Behind for Best New Horror 18. The King Of Rain inspired me to finally tackle his 'non-fiction' effort, Testimony, a copy of which has been collecting cobwebs since it was recommended by friend Jerrylad way back on Vault MK I. Shame on my tardiness.