Genitals go here!

[coral]

This is a special discussion area for those who wish to genitalia of all varieties; male, female, donkey, whatever floats your boat.
Go on then.

[fullbreakfast]

not mine

[sean]

Well, that didn't take long to get weird.

[dem bones]

It rarely does

But you see standing before you a very humble and contrite demonik who, now having sobered up some, realises that he should not have introduced his hideous unmentionables into what is after all, a very sweet thread which, conceivably, children may innocently chance upon. So i've deleted the offending posts and shoved 'em here where the title should serve as warning enough. apologies to coral for the unintentional sabotage

demonik

It looks like i'm gonna have to go through with physio and get my arm unbent now, as mrs. demonik says she can't be doing with a fellow who is permanently pointing at his genitals. It's funny how she never noticed that until now. women! what are they like, eh ?

Caroline C.

I just can't stop laughing at that image now, Dem. Thanks for cheering me up this morning.



demonik

Well may you laugh, madam but I can't even go and pick up the newspaper now without fear of being pulled on a public indecency charge.

demonik

Oh no, I've started giggling again. Stop it, or I'll wet myself!


walking dead

admin said:

'The Clangers'! I used to have a brilll poster of them

Is that the one where they're all pointing at their genitals? I believe it's a rare still from an episode that was never actually broadcast...

coral

Oh for god's sake.

Demonik, go to that new website where they print any slogan you want on a t shirt and have one made saying "get it here", then go and stand on a street corner in Soho, your posture will be perfection and you won't NEED any physiotherapy.
WD, stop watching the Clangers IMMEDIATELY and go take a cold shower.

Honestly, men!!!

Craig Herbertson
Can I bring this thread down another level.

In the clangers looking at their genitals picture have I missed something? ie genitals.

walking dead

billbunter said:

In the clangers looking at their genitals picture have I missed something? ie genitals.

They are there, Craig, they're just not visible to the naked eye. You'd need to use a telescope. Hence the derogatory expression, "Hung like a Clanger".

coral said:

WD, stop watching the Clangers IMMEDIATELY and go take a cold shower.

Honestly, men!!!

Women! Can't live with 'em, can't show 'em your Clangers... I give up...

coral

Right that's it!
bringing my choddy little kiddies thread down to gutter level is absolutely unforgiveable, it's not as if I do that to anyone else's threads!!!!
If you're all just going to talk about genitalia I'm going to go to seriously off topic in a big huff.

Mr Dead! Did photobucket really delete the Clangers pic? If so, that's an outrageous over-reaction even by their own recent standards!

[Craig Herbertson]

Okay, I am not going to talk about genitalia. Or even a genital if there is such a thing.

[Calenture]

Did no one catch that episode of Button Moon (I saw it last year) where a group of kitchen utensils harassed Mrs Button, scene culminating with a cake icing syringe shooting his load all over her face.

This appears to be a long tradition in childrens TV, possibly begun by Master Bates and Seaman Staines in Pugwash...

OK, I'll go back to the Moomins now.

[carolinec]

admin said:

But you see standing before you a very humble and contrite demonik who, now having sobered up some, realises that he should not have introduced his hideous unmentionables into what is after all, a very sweet thread which, conceivably, children may innocently chance upon. So i've deleted the offending posts and shoved 'em here where the title should serve as warning enough. apologies to coral for the unintentional sabotage

And I must apologise to Coral too as it was my reactions to Dem's comments which sparked it all off. I couldn't help it; it just creased me up. Sorry! I know I shouldn't encourage Dem, and I'll try harder not to in future.

But I love that Clangers pic. The one on the right looks just like I imagine Dem to look - no, I don't mean knitted and pink, with a long snout; I mean pointing downwards with a bemused look on his face!

[Craig Herbertson]

Urban myth re the NAUGHTY cAPTAIN pUGWASH

www.snopes.com/radiotv/tv/pugwash.asp

But don't you wish it was true.

There is something of the English tradition of Panto in all this, where the adults make lots of smutty references over the heads of the kids.

A time honoured tradition. Probably stemming from the dangers of cheap Pantos failing to amuse bored parents who then say the show was bad even though the kids liked it.

[Craig Herbertson]

"knitted and pink, with a long snout". Sounds like you have Dem in one Caroline. No need to retract

[coral]

Way to make me feel like a total termagant, or is it ent?
I did have a slightly, erm, "impatient" day yesterday. You are all funny and lovely and I'm not really cross.
By way of apology, here is my third favourite mushroom, Phallus Impudicus :

[carolinec]

If that's your THIRD favourite mushroom, Coral, I really don't want to see your first and second favourites!

[coral]

Don't worry dear, they're quite staid by comparrison, although one of them does happen to be called the Horn Of Plenty !

[troo]

Hang on, back up. You have favourite mushrooms?

[coral]

Absolutely.
I also appear to have lost the ability to spell today too. That's handy.

Right, mushrooms.
Or MYCOLOGY as us experts call it

I have been studying fungus by book and in the field for over 10 years now. I'm very fond of the little fellows, and I'm not even remotely nerdy for putting so much effort into something so odd.
Stay awake now, this is interesting.
It's a good excuse to spend hours on end rummaging about in woods and hedgerows, covered in mud and cow poo, staining hands purple with blackberries, cracking unripe hazelnuts with my teeth, etc etc.
Imagine the thrill after years of study upon discovering amongst the shit and leaves, one small gloriously velvety brown penny bun, or porcini to you!
I have fallen down badger setts, got trapped in barbed wire, you name it, but I am sad enough to find it endlessly fascinating. Tasty too, once you know what you're doing.

So there you have it. I bet I am the first person here to wax lyrical about mushrooms.

This is Coral Fungus, believe it or not

[Craig Herbertson]

Its not nerdy to like mushrooms or traipsing about woods Coral. What is worrying is when girls get together and begin comparing mushrooms. When the giggling starts its time to do a runner