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Post by benedictjjones on Mar 6, 2009 12:19:08 GMT
'are you with someone?' - sounds like a come on to me!
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Post by carolinec on Mar 6, 2009 12:30:09 GMT
'are you with someone?' - sounds like a come on to me! It's been a long time since a young man said anything like that to me, I must admit!
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Post by Craig Herbertson on Mar 6, 2009 15:12:47 GMT
'are you with someone?'
The standard reply is 'do I come here often?'
I know the feeling - only fifty but the other day there I was with some young folk musicians and they were talking about the old school and how you could learn from their experience. I suddenly realised they were talking about me... certainly squashed my plans to do a Brit pop video
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Post by lobolover on Mar 26, 2009 19:45:16 GMT
I remember one incident last year when I'd found the SF/fantasy section in a secondhand bookshop, but couldn't find any horror. So, I asked the lady behind the counter. "Oh no, there's no call for that kind of thing!" was the reply. Oh boy, that's just stupid . If you don't put it up, how the hell would you know ? It's like shoveling the publication of a novel, because it didn't sell before it got published and without the publishers advertising it .
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Post by dem bones on Sept 1, 2012 8:30:26 GMT
... the friend on this occasion being Franklin Marsh. Dick Emery - In Character (Futura, 1974) Cover designed by Patrick Mortemore Cover Art by Philip Castle Blurb: `Mandy ... with the beehive hairdo and last night's eyeshadow ... Lampwick, the doddering relic of World War One, with a cough out of an Army Nissen hut at dawn... nervous sex-starved Hettie ... and the gallery of stiff-legged colonels, frail gentlewomen, the bovver-booted, the queer, the priestly and the peers of the realm. Mr Emery handles them all with the touch of the master.' DONALD ZEC
Dick Emery's flair for looking at people, his eye for idiosyncrasy, his ear for dialogue and speech mannerism have made his characters unforgettable. Now he explains the origins of some of his best-loved creations. With the help of scripts, photographs and cartoons, IN CHARACTER brings to life the gallery of impersonations which have made him Britain's most popular comedian.This purchase came not without its hours of knicker-gripping angst and, I freely admit, there were dark moments when I came close as that to conceding defeat. First spotted the much-missed Dick's master-class in side-splitting ribaldy on Wednesday when, for want of the asking price (50p), had to leave it behind and sweat that it would go unclaimed. Back 24 hours later, 50p at the ready, and - the shop was shut! Yesterday. It's open, the book's where I left it, but - oh no! - as I reach the counter, two fetching student types of the nose stud, hot pants, ripped tights, dayglo Dr. Martens variety, step from the shadows clutching Banksy merchandise! Caught red handed - or maybe not. Perhaps they appreciate retro-chic, but best take no chances, so hastily improvise an elaborate, highly plausible cover story. "Happened to mention on-line that I'd seen this and, would you believe it, a friend begged me to get it for him (provides detailed description of said friend to up the authenticity of it all), so, [shrugs] well here I am. Oh, I see you are fellow admirers of Vladimir Nabokov's Bend Sinister ..." Did they fall for my massive whopper? That goes without saying, but I ain't sure they believed any of the garbage about me having friends. Was all the stress worth it? Perhaps if I reproduce a sample page or two, you'll be in a position to answer that for yourself ... Franklin, if you're after a copy (please, please be!), this one has your name on it.
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Post by Craig Herbertson on Sept 1, 2012 18:52:00 GMT
Brilliant Dem - those little white lies and improvisations are only a small part of the necessary armoury of the veteran pulp buyer. With Dick Emery at stake,even a saint would have crumbled into worse deceit. I salute you.
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Post by dem bones on Sept 5, 2012 21:49:43 GMT
All that subterfuge, and, not only does In Character ultimately fails to live down to expectation, but the blame lies entirely with Dick Emery himself! Turns out he was a motorbike enthusiast, so the chapter on 'Ton-up Boy' (see Franklin's avitar) provides opportunity to indulge his passion for TT racing, and very readable it is, as are the insights into the origins of his characters. 'Hetty' spent her early years as 'Frustrated Spinster' because Emery had based her on a predatory TV exec and thought she'd veto the character if she ever got an inkling. Randy old git and all round cad 'The Sporting Gent', was also drawn from life, this time a RAF Entertainment Officer from Dick's War years. In the chapter on 'Clarence', he's at pains to remind the reader that he's an actor, and playing a camp homosexual does not make him one in real life. Likewise 'Bovver Boy' should not be taken as an endorsement to kick in the windows of the local Off Licence. The book has its moments (the scripts, the cartoons), but i'd have been better served fitting up FM for What Rugby Songs Did Next or Prisoner Of Gor, except they are among my proudest ever purchases. Went gliding to the counter with the covers face-up like they were a badge of honour. Onwards and downwards. If the 'New Age' chapter in Robert Ince's 'Bad Book Club' is to be believed, I had something truly, brilliantly, profoundly awful lurking among the great unread all along .....
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Post by cauldronbrewer on Sept 6, 2012 23:56:58 GMT
Onwards and downwards. If the 'New Age' chapter in Robert Ince's 'Bad Book Club' is to be believed, I had something truly, brilliantly, profoundly awful lurking among the great unread all along ..... Intriguing. And the Amazon reviews are so positive (except for one).
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Post by dem bones on Nov 10, 2012 19:55:59 GMT
Derek Acorah - Haunted Britain (Harper Element, 2006) Cover photographers: (Derek Acorah) Jeff Coffenden: (castle) Simon Marsden, The Marsden Archive Blurb: `Regarded by some as the most inspirational medium in the UK' - Independent "The country's best-known medium' The Sun
In this fascinating guide, the UK's best known psychic Derek Acorah explores over 100 haunted sites throughout Great Britain. Entries range from haunted castles and manors to shopping centres, hotels, beaches, and even bowling alleys. Haunted Britain is an ideal travelling companion (design a spooky Easter break taking in a haunted abbey or an eerie pub) or simply offers the perfect read. Derek offers fantastic stories of epic battles, lost lovers, murder, suicide and other ghostly goings-on at locations far and wide. Each section offers helpful information on opening hours and access.
EXPLORE SPOOKY SITES SUCH AS THE SNICKLEWAY INN OF YORK, THE ADELPHI THEATRE IN LONDON OR THE TYNESIDE CINEMA
DEREK ACORAH is now the UK's number one TV psychic, known for his appearances on LIVING TV'S hugely successful Most Haunted and Celebrity Most Haunted as well as his new show, Derek Acorah's Ghost Towns. His previous books, The Psychic Adventures of Derek Acorah and Ghost Hunting with Derek Acorah, have featured in the Sunday Times top ten best-seller lists for months on end.Still haven't found it in me to attempt Ghost Hunting, but sampled a few chapters of Haunted Britain to get acclimatised. 'Derek's Tips', which appear in little boxes throughout, make plenty of sense. Wrap up warm, always pack a spare battery for your torch (in case ghosts deliberately drain the first one), bring along two video camera's (more chance of capturing your entity to film), keep the same team so you build trust and eradicate the likelihood of confabulation ... According to the author, London is the most haunted city in the UK. There's a murdered actor haunts the Adelphi theatre (and the neighbouring cake shop), although sometimes he only materialises from the waist downward. The spectral landlady at The George Inn on Borough High Street - where the Dracula Society hold their AGM's and a certain Lord Probert of this parish picked up a prestigious 'The Children of the Night' award for The Faculty of Terror in 2006: Chris Priestley won it for Tales Of Terror From The Tunnel Mouth three years later - is plagued by the phantom a former landlady, a techophobe who messes with camera's and the wifi connection. Surprisingly, no mention of Bram Stoker in the brief entry on The Lyceum (where Shock City's finest, Martian Dance, once blew Simple Minds offstage), just a lady in the stalls clutching a severed head, believed to be that of local landowner Henry Courtenay, decapitated during the Civil War by order of Oliver Cromwell. In truth, anyone who's dabbled in Elliott O'Donnell's Confessions Of A Ghost Hunter is going to find Mr. Acorah's book a model of restraint.
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Post by andydecker on Nov 11, 2012 12:32:11 GMT
In truth, anyone who's dabbled in Elliott O'Donnell's Confessions Of A Ghost Hunter is going to find Mr. Acorah's book a model of restraint. I have to confess that this kind of ghost hunting always left me cold. Then I watched a series on Discovery, one of these "in search of" thingies which title I forgot. A moderator, a sexy blonde historian and another guy travel to Sherwood Forest or Transylvania to look for Robin Hood. It always fell apart when the forth man came into play, a medium. "I feel pain and anger, terrible things happened here", he says in teh dungeon. Yeah, right. After seing the parody called Ghostfacers on episodes of Supernatural which was hilarious I already have to giggle when I see the ads for UFO-Hunters on History Channel, so I truly can't imagine reading a non-fiction book about Hauntings.
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Post by dem bones on Nov 11, 2012 14:04:58 GMT
I have to confess that this kind of ghost hunting always left me cold. Then I watched a series on Discovery, one of these "in search of" thingies which title I forgot. A moderator, a sexy blonde historian and another guy travel to Sherwood Forest or Transylvania to look for Robin Hood. It always fell apart when the forth man came into play, a medium. "I feel pain and anger, terrible things happened here", he says in teh dungeon. Yeah, right. After seing the parody called Ghostfacers on episodes of Supernatural which was hilarious I already have to giggle when I see the ads for UFO-Hunters on History Channel, so I truly can't imagine reading a non-fiction book about Hauntings. I accumulated way too much supernatural "non-fiction" in a previous life, some stubbornly clung on to, much passed on, rune-like, to the church jumble sale, but one paperback i hope never to be parted from is the masterly Ghost Hunters by "the world's most famous demonologists", Ed & Lorraine Warren, featuring spine-freezing encounters with Sasquatch and Jane Seymour. Ray Garton shares a marvellous anecdote about the pair as his contribution to Stephen Jones' Dancing With The Dark. Derek Anaconda has much to do before he can claim a place amongst the greats.
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sara
Crab On The Rampage
Posts: 69
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Post by sara on Nov 16, 2012 19:35:50 GMT
Must say I’m surprised, and a little sad, to find Derek Acorah’s books on a thread such as this. How anyone could be embarrassed to purchase such treasures is beyond me. Anyway, on to some truly embarrassing book purchases: LESBIAN LOVE Is an incisive pictorial analysis of women who turn to other women for physical gratification. It tells and portrays actual real-life photographs of these women who are trapped in a mire of abnormal lust and who must bow to their own unnatural craving to survive. Brutally frank this book exposes... LESBIANISM as it really is.
Written by Gail Rafael Diamond Star Books 1970.Now don’t get me wrong, I’ve nothing against 70’s picture porn books as such and I love lesbians as much as the next person, but Lesbian Love in all its torn ‘n’ tattered, grease splattered, sticky-paged tackiness is one of the filthiest books I own, literally. And even if it was purchased from one of the few remaining 3 books for £1 charity shops left in this area, what sort of human being would buy such a book in this condition? It’s tragic really and I can offer no excuse for it. I’ve also long since given up pretending that I’m buying this kind of tat for the men in my life. Poor Danny; he’s a sensitive soul with much more discriminating literary tastes than me. Faced with my dodgy book-buying urges, all he can do is look on in speechless horror as what little spare shelving space we have groans ever wearier under the weight of such classic car-boot bargains as: First NEL paperback edition April 1976. Or worse (much worse)... Another First NEL paperback edition April 1976. Why would I buy this? Why would anyone buy this?! (Well I can guess why some people would but, flicking through what’s inside, they’re going be severely disappointed). However, all of the above fades into oblivion when faced with the complete, absolute cringe- inducing embarrassment of one of my more recent acquisitions: When I bought Doctor in Love there was, at the time, a perfectly rational, crucially important reason why I needed this book (which had completely flown out of my mind by the time I got home). So for now it has joined the ever increasing ranks of books that I own which really should belong to someone else. Having said that, could I ever bear to part with any of them? I doubt it!
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Post by Craig Herbertson on Nov 16, 2012 20:01:26 GMT
Must say I’m surprised, and a little sad, to find Derek Acorah’s books on a thread such as this. How anyone could be embarrassed to purchase such treasures is beyond me. Anyway, on to some truly embarrassing book purchases: Excellent selection there. The blurb for LESBIAN LOVE (which really just has to be capitalised at every given moment) would be worth a quid alone.
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Post by dem bones on Nov 16, 2012 20:59:31 GMT
Thanks ever so for sharing, Sara! I can think of people who would seriously seriously kill for items 1-3 were it not for the fact that, in the cases of the Diary ... paperbacks they likely are already familiar with, uh, "well thumbed" copies. How do these books get along with your Gothic Romances? Are they consigned to a designated sin corner, or do the Dorothy Daniels' and Lucy Graham's happily coexist on the same shelf? I feel dead rotten about including Mr. Acorah. Have not yet dabbled in Ghost Hunting but, as mentioned above, Haunted Houses is far from the worst supernatural 'non-fiction' title to pass this way. It isn't even in the running. Can't compete with your wonderful selection, but decided recently that, as befits a man of my years, it was time to move away from horror and into the realms of classic science fiction. Simon Bell - Morons From Outer Space (Virgin, 1985) Blurb Into the dull lives of ordinary people burst four aliens. They don't have two heads. They aren't green. They don't even have wobbly antennae sticking out of their foreheads. How did they come here? Why did they come here? To destroy us? To enslave us? To do a bit of shopping? Here is the story of how three dim-wits from outer space achieved wealth and stardom on Earth - and how one didn't ...If only Mr. Bell's novelisation can duplicate the unprecedented hilarity of the film, we may finally have found a book worth feeling embarrassed about.
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Post by Johnlprobert on Nov 17, 2012 9:10:14 GMT
Can I just admit that this thread is just one of the many reasons I have to keep coming coming back to the Vault?
Sara - those covers & blurbs have had me laughing when I really shouldn't be. What marvellous stuff! Worth the expression on the Oxfam lady's face alone when one proudly purchases them! One at a time!
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