It was the nearest thing in nature to the actual awe-inspiring passing of a tidal bore. One invincible down-bearing mighty wave travelling at top speed : that was Emma Hornett, crashing through the house, sweeping everything aside in her ominous advance ... And if you saw Albert Tufnell about to saddle himself with Emma Hornett as a mother-in-law, you might well be tempted to shout: "watch it, sailor!"
MARJORIE RHODES as EMMA HORNETT in the West End production of the hilarious comedy hit by Philip King and Falkland Cary
Able Seaman Albert Tufnell can't wait to get his hands on his blushing bride Shirley's REAR ADMIRABLE but - AVAST BEHIND! - here comes his fearsome old battleship of a mother-in-law, and there'll be no YO HO HO for him while she's around! You're guaranteed GALLEONS of NAUTICAL BUT NICE, OLD SPICE-Y rib-tickling merriment on every page in - "Watch it, Sailor!"
Or maybe not. Some bloke on the imdb suggests Hammer films' Watch It, Sailor!" is a farce of the much loved 'hilarious mix up' variety concerning the reason's behind nice but dim Albert's late arrival at his own wedding. Crushingly, it also appears to be a strictly shag-free zone, so perhaps the best way to approach this one is to drown in the glorious cover and imagine your own version of the contents.
From the first, I set myself against "literature"; the story was the thing, and no amount of style could persuade me to select a story that lacked genuine, unadulterated horror. For those who wanted something high-brow there was plenty.