The Second BHF Book of Horror Stories

[Dr Terror]

cover by Paul Mudie

BHF Books, 2007

Edited by Christopher Wood

In the Pipeline by Paul Newman
Show Home by Paul Adams
Romero and Juliette by Gareth Hopkins
The Blood Field by Derek Johnston
The Morris Men by Franklin Marsh
It is Written by Matt Finucane
Home Truth by Christopher L Jones
Roast Beef by Martin J Parsons
Almost Love by Rog Pile
Clean Living by Clare Hill
Still Life by Paul Newman
Separation by Charles Black
You can't sing, you can't dance, you look awful...you'll go a long way by Christopher Wood
A Little Dead Man on Clockchanges Road by Wayne Mook
When Hell Freezes Over by Neil Christopher
The Passage by Mark Ferguson
Appeal by Gareth A Williams
Obeahman by Maya McLaughlin
A (Something) in Wardour Street by Franklin Marsh
Jacob Raffles by James Stanger
The Inn by S F Stewart
Cattle by Richard Cosgrove
The Darklands Hall Legacy by Franklin Marsh
Cerberus Rising by Neil Christopher
Crowd Scene by James Brough
Portrait of a Young Woman by Carole Hall
The Oxford Vampire by Thirteen Ravens
The Sea Witch by Mike Ward
Children of the Summer's End by Sam Dawson
The Shadow in the Stacks by Daniel McGachey
Understanding by Jason P Burden

Verse:
Tschaichowsky's Lonely Sympathy by Nadia Mook
Out Beyond the Clearing by Matthew Entwistle
Tey by Matthew Entwistle
The Necromancer by Matthew Entwistle
A (Helpful) Warning to the Curious by Mattew Entwhistle

Extract from forthcoming novel:
Dead Weight by E H Bourne

[dem bones]

Finally treated myself to a copy fifteen years after the event. High Vault MK I presence among contributors.

Christopher Wood [ed.] – 2nd BHF Book Of Horror (BHF, 2007)

Paul Mudie

Christopher Wood - Introduction
Acknowledgements

Paul Newman – In the Pipeline
Paul Adams – Show Home
Gareth Hopkins – Romero And Juliette
Derek Johnston – The Blood Field
Franklin Marsh – The Morris Men
Billy Turner - The Stone Fountain
Matt Finucane – It Is Written
Christopher L Jones – Home Truth
Martin J Parsons – Roast Beef
Rog Pile – Almost Love
Clare Hill – Clean Living
Paul Newman – Still Life
Charles Black – Separation
Christopher Wood – You Can’t Sing, You Can’t Dance, You Look Awful …You’ll Go A Long Way
Wayne Mook – A Little Dead Man On Clockchanges Road
Neil Christopher – When Hell Freezes Over
Mark Ferguson – The Passage
Gareth A Williams – Appeal
Maya McLaughlin – Obeahman
Franklin Marsh – A (Something) in Wardour Street
James Stanger – Jacob Raffles
S F Stewart – The Inn
Richard Cosgrove – Cattle
Franklin Marsh – The Darklands Hall Legacy
Neil Christopher – Cerberus Rising
James Brough – Crowd Scene
Carole Hall – Portrait Of A Young Woman
Thirteen Ravens – The Oxford Vampire
Mike Ward – The Sea Witch
Sam Dawson – Children Of The Summer’s End
Daniel McGachey – The Shadow In The Stacks
Jason P Burden – Understanding

Verse:

Nadia Mook – Tschaichowsky’s Lonely Sympathy
Matthew Entwistle – Out Beyond The Clearing
Matthew Entwistle – Tey
Matthew Entwistle – The Necromancer
Matthew Entwistle – A (Helpful) Warning To The Curious

Extract from forthcoming novel:

E H Bourne – Dead Weight


Interior illustrations; Paul Mudie, Lawrence Bailey, Paula Fay, Egerton


Blurb:

Foul deeds will rise...
Something lurks in a childhood den...
An experiment in design gone horribly wrong...
Death stalks a music festival...
The gory reality of TV fame...

Tread softly... beware lest the evil that walks invisible assumes human shape...
32 stories brought to you by the British Horror Films website that will turn your bones almost to water with the act of fear.
Almost * two million copies of this world-famous series have been sold. Make sure your collection is complete.

* just 1,999.940 copies to go!

[dem bones]

Had intended to hold back for ten days. But recognising so many names among the contributors, temptation proved too great.

Christopher Wood – Introduction: Editor bemoans not making pile of money from website.

Paul Newman – In the Pipeline: As eleven-year-olds, Jess and Richard would dare one another to crawl through a 150-foot-long pipe in defiance of the bogeyman lurking there-in – until the time Richard didn't emerge the other end. That evening, his broken body was found driven over in the road, but Jess is convinced it wasn't a hit and run motorist killed his friend. Twenty-seven years later, he returns to the now derelict playground of his torment.

Paul Adams – Show Home: A gobby estate agent shows potential client around a three-bed semi on Brazil Street, which, he guarantees, will host a gory toolbox double-murder in the not too distant. Think of it. An address soon to become notorious as 10 Rillington Place or 23 Cranley Gardens, all yours at an "affordable price."

Gareth Hopkins – Romero And Juliette: A scientist's pet frog is exposed to a dose of a laboratory-created mystery stimulant. Too empathic for her own good, Juliette, the grey Mr. Romero's assistant and bedmate, takes poor dead 'Perseus' home to bury. Fatal mistake.

Derek Johnston – The Blood Field: Two friends holidaying in the Norfolk wetlands take a very wrong turn on a nature ramble. Lost, wandering in circles, they're set upon by man-hating carnivorous plant life.

[iant]

Oh, I really do need to get the first two volumes! Ashamed that I haven't so far but I really will put that right soon! Look forward to hearing how you rate these!

[andydecker]

Aug 9, 2022 14:15:28 GMT dem bones said:

Had intended to hold back for ten days. But recognising so many names among the contributors, temptation proved too great.

Christopher Wood – Introduction: Editor bemoans not making pile of money from website.

Is this the Bond Christopher Wood?

[dem bones]

Aug 9, 2022 16:14:25 GMT andydecker said:

Aug 9, 2022 14:15:28 GMT dem bones said:

Had intended to hold back for ten days. But recognising so many names among the contributors, temptation proved too great.

Christopher Wood – Introduction: Editor bemoans not making pile of money from website.

Is this the Bond Christopher Wood?

No idea. I do know he's not the Confessions ... one.

Franklin Marsh - The Morris Men: Little Dampton Carnival. Billy hits the beer tent to get away from Dawn and the kids, their whiny "can we have some money for the rides?" He's not yet calmed when in prance ten guys in blackface, waving sticks and jingling bells. Morris Dancers! Bloody morons. Dressing up like a fairy and making a spectacle of yourself has nothing to do with being English, whatever THEY tell you. Wouldn't it be a hoot if he were to trip one up?

As featured on Vault Advent Calendar — twice. The Morris men still strike me as a very English — and very dead — equivalent of the Baseball Furies from The Warriors.

Billy Turner - The Stone Fountain: A borderline haunted bench story. Frank achieves his ambition to commit murder. The random victim, Margaret, 54, a rough sleeper in the park, once knew considerable wealth, but an acrimonious divorce brought her down to the bottom. Moments before he throttles her, Margaret shows Frank her lucky charm - a carving of a monkey fashioned into a bracelet. It hasn't done her much good to date, but better late than ever.

Matt Finucane – It Is Written: A breakthrough in graphic design gone catastrophically awry sees swarming clouds of sentient alloy particles unleashed on mankind. Will anyone survive the Day of the Faceless Silver Balloon-heads?

Christopher L. Jones – Home Truth: With the wife and kids stopping over at Gran's, he looks forward to a night of DVD's and a proper greasy takeaway. But it's not to be. The loud sobbing from the other side of the wall, suggests the sweet old couple next door have received distressing news.

[helrunar]

I'm intrigued and will look for that Franklin Marsh tale. Sounds right up my twisted little alleyway.

H.

[andydecker]

Aug 10, 2022 17:51:15 GMT dem bones said:

Aug 9, 2022 16:14:25 GMT andydecker said:

Is this the Bond Christopher Wood?

No idea. I do know he's not the Confessions ... one.

As the Confessions Wood also polished up The Spy who loved me and wrote the abominable Moonraker, this must be another one. The old Wood really must have had luck. From Confessions and Rosie Dixon to Hollywood screenwriter. On second thought it seems pretty farfetched that he would do a BHF anthology in his old age.

[samdawson]

Aug 10, 2022 20:17:25 GMT andydecker said:

Aug 10, 2022 17:51:15 GMT dem bones said:

No idea. I do know he's not the Confessions ... one.

As the Confessions Wood also polished up The Spy who loved me and wrote the abominable Moonraker, this must be another one. The old Wood really must have had luck. From Confessions and Rosie Dixon to Hollywood screenwriter. On second thought it seems pretty farfetched that he would do a BHF anthology in his old age.

Christopher Wood is the still sort of youngish originator of the British Horror Films website, on which he posted often amusing reviews of British horror films, back when that was still quite uncommon. Out of that grew a much-loved discussion forum (and later the BHF books of horror) which, sadly, finally died because it was costing too much to host - he also had a first child at the time and may rightly have wanted to spend more time with his family. Although the forum has gone his reviews remain at www.britishhorrorfilms.co.uk and are very well worth a look

[Swampirella]

Thanks for the link, Sam, it's great! I just had a quick browse and enjoyed some of the reviews. There are some "gems" I've never heard of, which I'll make an effort to find.

[samdawson]

Hi Swampirella,
Glad it was of interest. It was a bit of a pioneering site when it started, mixing reviews of then sometimes quite unappreciated films (usually in an affectionate but dryly amusing way), combined with the forum, which unfailingly helped while away slack time at work, as I remember

[andydecker]

Aug 11, 2022 10:45:52 GMT samdawson said:

Christopher Wood is the still sort of youngish originator of the British Horror Films website, on which he posted often amusing reviews of British horror films, back when that was still quite uncommon. Out of that grew a much-loved discussion forum (and later the BHF books of horror) which, sadly, finally died because it was costing too much to host - he also had a first child at the time and may rightly have wanted to spend more time with his family. Although the forum has gone his reviews remain at www.britishhorrorfilms.co.uk and are very well worth a look

Thanks for the info, Sam. Appreciated.

Hi, Swampi /wavesmiley

[dem bones]

Vault spewed forth from the BHF forum.

Martin J. Parsons – Roast Beef: It's not the first time her husband has rolled home drunk from the Wheatsheaf demanding non-consentual sex, but it will be the last. On impulse, Serena McKinnaugh, artist, stabs him with a shard, drags his corpse to her studio and stuffs it inside the kiln. What's little is left of him once the flames have done their worst can be buried in the wood with little threat of discovery.

Truly, Serena is composure itself, until ....

Roger B. Pile – Almost Love: "The killings made no sense. They were sexually motivated in a city where sex was freely available, where there was no risk of infection."

The city of dreams, designed to meet and fulfil every conceivable fantasy, a good many inconceivable ones, too. Simply attach the electrodes to arms, legs and genitalia, and you're free to indulge your vice on the astral. But for the man with the knife, the experience is not real enough.

Clare Hill – Clean Living: Gloriously twisted tale of twelve-year-old Jessie, lovely Uncle Marty — the only one who really loves understands her (currently unavailable for police questioning due to a hastily arranged "holiday") — and the mystery of the red soap.

Paul Newman – Still Life: An instant Mummy Classic. Stephanie, a young Londoner touring Mexico, takes her pad and charcoal pens to the Museum of the Mummies of Guanajuato. The custodian recites how the famous tourist attraction came into being when local government imposed a "permanent burial" tax during a cholera epidemic. The dead of those too poor to pay were unceremoniously disinterred and removed to a storeroom. It was noted that the corpses had undergone natural preservation. Several were the victims of premature burial.

Stephanie is particularly fascinated by the corpse of one such señorita whose devoted husband has paid homage at this, her shrine, every day for fifty years.
She is still sketching when the old timer gives final reminder that he's locking up for the day.

The Winter Hunt, Paul Lewis's 15 story collaboration with & Steve Lockley, is likewise recommended.

[dem bones]

Didn't have much chance of getting on with the 1st BHF Book of Horror Stories as more pages came unstuck from the binding whenever it was opened. Vol #2, happily, is exactly what I came for.

Charles Black - Separation: On their tenth anniversary, Sheryl drops the bombshell — maybe it's time to consider a trial separation? Husband's reaction not the best. Be careful what you suggest when other half owns a meat cleaver.

Christopher Wood – You Can’t Sing, You Can’t Dance, You Look Awful ... You’ll Go A Long Way: Laughed offstage by Simon Cowell and fellow Britain's Got Talent judges, Terry is talent-spotted storming from the studio by a man in a big black Limo. "I'm here to offer you the chance of a lifetime."

Wayne Mook – A Little Dead Man On Clockchanges Road: A pleasant exchange with a cheery fly-blown, disembowelled corpse while waiting for the bus.

Neil Christopher – When Hell Freezes Over: A deadly cold winter, the worst since 1981 and, according to those old enough to have experienced it, on a par with the notorious white-out of 1963. Power-cuts across East Anglia. Five old timers huddle before an open fire in the snug of The Butcher's Arms, Hobbs Ford, Lincs. The eldest, Fred Perkins, notorious in the village for an extra-marital affair some decades back, drinks up and heads out to the car-park. Where something terrible awaits.

Personal picks to date, The Morris Men, Still Life Home Truth, Clean Living, A Little Dead man on Clockchanges Road and When Hell Freezes Over. I've disliked not one.

[dem bones]

The horror beneath Cheshire, escalating death toll on Flowers lane, voodoo in the veldt, fang-banged in Soho. So glad to have finally landed a copy of #2.

Mark Ferguson – The Passage: When Peter hears voices from the cellar beneath his new home, he is compelled to investigate. Hill House has a bad name in Northwich, due to a tunnel collapse which claimed the lives of three miners. Their bodies were never recovered. A regular at the village pub offers sound advice — "If you don't mind me saying, leave it alone ... There's something not right down there." — but Peter isn't listening.

Gareth A Williams – Appeal: A phantom cyclist haunts the stretch of b - road where he met his end, knocked down and killed in a hit and run accident. His ghost's panic-inducing appearances fast earn black spot notoriety for Flowers Lane.

Maya McLaughlin – Obeahman: Another personal favourite. The village shaman wreaks destruction on a community simply by complying with their every request for assistance. Mtobo, a wife and stepmother to nine children at fourteen, is a regular client until she too falls victim to a retaliatory hex. A sequence which sees the heroine's ma perform emergency mortuary beautician duties on a mangled corpse is especially queasy going.

Franklin Marsh – A (Something) in Wardour Street: Lousy night at the Marquee for Martin when the headliners pull out. With the headliners pulling out late, he's offered the stark choice of pissing off home, or staying to endure a set by Venusian Frug: "Gawd, how he hated their jangling row. A couple of nice birds in short skirts gyrating down the front was scant consolation. Huh! Some people just don't appreciate real music! Can't say I'll be sorry if something TERRIBLE happens to the jerk on the way back to the tube.