Robert Bloch - Psycho House

[dem bones]

Robert Bloch - Psycho House (Tor, 1991)

Joe De Vito

Welcome back to the Bates Motel .... Where Death is the desk clerk

Blurb:

The fully-restored Bates Motel, a recreation of the infa­mous murder site, complete with robot copies of Norman Bates and his lovely Mother, is about to become Texas's newest tourist attraction.

Right before opening day, there's an unplanned addition to the exhibits ... the bloody corpse of a teenage girl is found in the front hall.

Was the death a publicity stunt? Was it an accident or deliberate murder? Or has the madness that claimed Norman Bates returned to his home for another killing spree?

For you, Sean.

That has to be the very worst embossed lettering job I have ever seen. Much like Psycho 2, this one passed over me without making much impression, although I'm planning on a second crack at both in the not too distant.

[sean]

I'll probably look out for this one, if only for the sake of having read the whole series.

[dem bones]

134 pages in and where this one differs from the previous books is we've not really got to know the people of Farevale up until now. What was it like for them, living through the salad days when folk would bus in from as far afield as LA and New York to get a nice ghoulish fix?

Seven years on from the events described in Psycho 2, Amy Haines, 26, is researching the Bates case for what she hopes will become the follow-up to her bestseller Tricks Or Treats?, a non-sensational study of Bonnie Walton, the mass-murdering hooker. Dr. Steiner is so impressed with Tricks Or Treats? that he agrees to cooperate fully on the project although he's not altogether sure he can convince Dr. Claiborne to do likewise. Still, no harm in asking: he seems so much calmer these days .....

Amy's arrival in Fairvale coincides with yet another Bates-related murder. The original Motel burned down decades back, but local businessman Otto 'Fatso' Remsbach has rebuilt it as a tourist attraction, replicating the important rooms with furniture and props bought as a job lot from Coronet Pictures (the outfit behind the doomed Bates movie in Psycho 2). To emphasise the ghoulishness of it all, he's splashed out on waxwork models of Norman, Ma Bates and Mary Crane, and there's talk of introducing a souvenir shop and a cafe where the peckish punter can grab a tasty ketchup-heavy murderburgers. Tragically, having put all this effort into the enterprise, Fatso has to postpone the Grand Opening after eleven-year-old Terry Dowson and Michelle Sontag decide on a sneak preview of the fruit cellar after dark. Michelle's already been over the joint once on account of her dad always being pissed evenings and leaving his keys handy. But tonight ... something's up! The model of Ma Bates has gone! And there's a noise on the stairs. The girls scarper but - SLASH! SLASH! SLASH! - poor Terry doesn't make it ....

And now here comes this fancy broad from Chicago wants to drag the fine name of Fairvale and it's upstanding, hard-grafting residents through the gutter again. Be sure to show her plenty of that famous Southern hospitality now, boys ...

To be ....

[dem bones]

Ok, so can you spot the deranged killer among this lot?

• Hank Gibbs: Wisecracking local reporter on the Fairvale Weekly Herald. The only friendly, cheerful face in several counties. But is it all a front, a mask to hide how disgruntled, twisted and cynical he truly is?
  
• Eric Dunstable: Baby faced demonologist. Has made it his mission to exorcise the evil spirit of Norman Bates while looking and acting as creepy as humanly possible. Does not go down well with -
  
• Rev. Archer: Norm's only childhood friend and token Religious barmpot. As one would expect, 100% opposed to Fatso's whole Psycho House project.
  
• Charlie Pitkin: Otto Remsbach's attorney and business partner. Reputedly the 'brains' behind Psycho House. Has devoted daughter, Emily, who acts all strange whenever Bloch devotes a paragraph to her but is it just a case of shameless mugging?
  
• Otto 'Fatso' Remsbach: Obese slob with stacks of cash. Comes on like a good ol' boy version of Bernard Manning. In short, an all round charm school.
  
• Somebody else.
  

Notwithstanding the obligatory nasty murders and a scene-stealing cameo from the Mrs. Bates dummy, Psycho House didn't really do it for this reader. Could be because I came to it directly after finishing Psycho 2 but .... House feels like the weakest of the three, mainly because I didn't find the killer particularly engaging. It doesn't help that the novel reads like the best bits from the first two fed through a mincer and regurgitated via a new bunch of characters who, Fatso and the barking Exorcist aside, are neither likable or especially interesting. Bloch could doubtless have run with a Psycho Chronicles, even made a good fist of it, but I'm glad he stopped on this one.