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Post by erebus on Mar 27, 2015 13:52:57 GMT
Ok lets get this finished.
Barry escapes the the booby hatch, well when I say escapes he just basically walks out. It wasn't even that easy for Michael Myers. Slack security aside his reasons are due to the Ghostly visitation from Rita. Worse of all he now has the plague. Well its called the plague here for Egyptian reasons, but really its gangrene.
When he stumbles home Dad, George puts him down in the tomb and spill yet more mumbo jumbo about SET and prepares him for the next stage, so of he goes back into the house to shave off all his hair. Meanwhile Sheila has got fully engrossed in all this and persuades Adrian to meet her in the park. Delighted he obliges, he's even more grateful when she strips off and gives him a quickie. And with that its off back with him to the tomb as the have to take part in the BODYWATCH, yep, Barry has popped his clogs. Down here Adrian flips out as he sees a huge fly go into Barrys mouth, then as he hears it buzzing around in his belly a huge Spider appears and follows it down the throat and captures it. Now at this point I was really wondering what the hell I was reading. If a bird entered the fray to tackle the spider that would have been the last straw .
Anyway way back in the house Emily is wondering why George is cutting up all her finest linen into strips. Its obvious where thats going. Also she notes how much more buff and masculine he's looking with his newly shaved head, Heck he's even whipped off his eyebrows too.
The end of the novel is upon us. I will tell no more but it all ends in mass hallucination, a stillborn child , evisceration, innards in tupperware bowls, and a huge mushroom cloud. And to be quite honest with you I was glad to bring this tiresome book to a close.
Its a damn shame really as the subject matter could be put to good use. And I for one was expecting him to do things with the various curses and plagues from the Egyptian lore. Sadly after a decent start the novel gets clumsy and uninteresting, and quite a chore at times to read. Not regarded as one of his better books don't think I'll be returning to this in a while. Ive had this book for well over a decade, but never felt the need to read it. Had the NEL version first, but bought the Arrow edition to complete the SET ( see what I did there ) but not his worse book, it certainly can't compare with his gems we all love and cherish.
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Post by erebus on Mar 27, 2015 12:05:30 GMT
Ridiculous, its the same on ebay. Thing is those book selling wholesalers haven't a clue of the book they are on about, and know little about what they are selling. They just see other companies prices and follow suit, even if there is a typo. Thing is Childmare always pops up on ebay for a couple of quid. I don't think its rare at all. I've witnessed this phenomena ( if you will ) many times when Ive tried to track a book down. Wait a few week or so and when the heat is off they appear again at the proper price. Bloody annoying though isn't it.
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Post by erebus on Mar 27, 2015 11:58:02 GMT
The episode of THIS IS YOUR LIFE he featured in,is on You Tube. Definitely worth 27 minutes of your time.
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Post by erebus on Mar 27, 2015 11:55:01 GMT
Very happy to have finally gotten hold of one of these this week, and what a great read it is too. Had the day off work yesterday waiting for a plumber who was due at 9.00am, thought I would start on this before he arrived. By half twelve I had finished it, its that good a fast paced read. Plumber didn't arrive till late afternoon, Unbelievable. The Worms in the book don't really take centre stage, its our washed out drunken hero Causey the PI. Although some of the set pieces are gross it isn't littered with the frequent nasty vignettes you often get in these novels. The other theme is the racism thread that runs through the book, as the main villain despises whites. Takes it a little extreme though doesn't he. As Dem said the ending is a whopper and leaves the door open for later chaos.
I thoroughly enjoyed this. Not surprised though as I felt the same about TENDRILS and SLIMER. Still need to get a hold of FUNGUS though, something I'm going to rectify quickly.
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Post by erebus on Mar 27, 2015 11:44:30 GMT
Yes, its seems I do have a funny sized Tendrils, as WORM is a normal size. Wonder why this is.
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Post by erebus on Mar 26, 2015 23:28:15 GMT
I applaud your endeavour and work rate, well done. The Clone sounds interesting. Sounds right up my street in fact. I've never heard of it.
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Post by erebus on Mar 19, 2015 13:29:17 GMT
Well if its good enough for Dr Phibes. Its good enough for Guy N Smith. So inevitably he tackled the age old Egyptian curse theme.
We begin with Reverend Mason whom has unearthed the tomb containing the mummies Dalukah and her lover Ab-aner. Entombed together forever for their crimes . Mason's guides are the superstitious types who bail out and leave him to salvage the mummies alone. He brings them back to the UK for research. To the disgust of his housekeeper, who claims they stink up the place and are disgusting. So he buries them in his garden.
Flash forward a few years, Emily Brownlow has won a few bob on a spot the ball type thingy, with that she buys a posh house on River View. One of those Hyacinth Bouquet types she would be devastated if the neighbours knew of her wealth, and the fact that husband George has recently become unemployed. George is a little tired with his wifes prattling and strict cleanliness rules,( Coal must be washed, carpets in the sheds etc ) he's more concerned about the crisis in the far east. Over breakfast he tells her enough is enough , he's gonna build himself a bunker in the back garden to protect against nuclear war. It doesn't go down to well.
George digs down and soon finds a strange amulet depicting a double headed snake. He becomes fixated, this is the amulet of SET the glowing snakes eyes urge him to continue his excavations. In the process he is almost buried alive, and is visited by the rotting corpses of Dalukah and Ab-aner. He wakes up screaming from the dream, but slowly but surely he's going round the bend. Quoting curses and ancient egyptian text.
The couples daughter, Sheila is with her boyfriend Adrian down by the river not to far from the house, Adrian is after a bit of Hows your Father, and thinks his luck might be in, but his amorous advances are soon thwarted by a seething army of frogs. Thousands of the buggers. When one died ten took its place, claims the book. They make it safely home, much to a delirious Emily " My lawn is full of frogs and my daughter comes home naked, its disgusting ". George, however knows the truth, its the plagues of SET he proclaims.
Barry, who is George and Emily's son is having problems of his own. Girlfriend Rita is being a problem. Hardly surprising as she's just seen ghostly shadows come to life in her room and re-enact the deaths of the two mummies. A Giant snake also manifest before her and vows he will have vengeance for SET. At this point we the reader are wondering what the hell is going on.
After and earlier run in with a snake down the river, George is back in the garden, a giant Locust pops by which is quickly deposited in a jar. The Centre for Overseas Pest research, don't help out but one solitary Locust is the least of their worries. Rita has gone into a coma after her Ghostly visitation and scalded herself badly in her bathroom ( plague of boils perhaps ?) She later dies. George is frantic, not with the loss, but because she's been cremated SET won't be happy. More head scratching by the reader.
He's right though. Her ghost visits Barry whilst he's locked in his bedroom, he ends up in the nuthouse. Back down in the garden all manner of insects are advancing. George and an agitated Emily are attacked by Grasshoppers, Beetles, Ants, Ladybirds and even dive bombing Bumblebees. Inside the house is clouded with flies. This reminded me of his other book, and personal favourite ABOMINATION. Anyway moving on.
George isn't phased by all this. His bunker is now like a pyramid below the ground. Complete with altar for the sacred amulet. But by this part of the novel his rants about Egypt, SET and Curses is coming a little tedious.
Adrian survives an attack of frogs and bugs to visit Sheila. She's been avoiding him for a few days. Turns out she's up the duff. Dad George ain't to pleased, thats the very reason Dalukah and Ab-aner were ran through with swords and mummified all the centuries ago. That stinking bunker/pyramid is going to come into good use after all. Emily the wife by now has basically lost the plot.
Aubrey Houghton from the council turns up one day at the house. Reports of a strange construction has been filed, without planning permission Houghton wants to get to the bottom of things. Nobody is home so he sneaks round back. He discovers the strange mound of soil and the door he ventures below. The strange double headed snake wards him off, as do a few thousand scorpions and spiders. Crawling up his pants leg and round his tackle. He staggers to the surface were a few grasshoppers get in on the act. I was awaiting a grisly demise here, Dr Phibes and Richard Lewis style. Sadly he escapes with just a bleeding shin and a warning never to return. Thats just a little over halfway so with this I decided to give the book a break and come back later. Hopefully, as to be truthful it isn't really kicking on this one.
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Mania
Mar 14, 2015 21:11:55 GMT
Post by erebus on Mar 14, 2015 21:11:55 GMT
Guy N Smith wrote this book at a very busy time in his life. He had around ten novels published in the space of two years, this may reflect on why this book isn't really one of his best. That isn't to say its a total loss. Concerning a young mother Suzannah and her Daughter Rose. On a trip out in bad blizzard conditions they become stranded and have to seek shelter . They find the sinister dark Donnington County Hotel, sinister for the fact that it was once a psychiatric care home, and some of the patients still reside there. These include Jack Christopher, a devout Christian who loves to expose himself and flash at women. Vera Brown, who hates the thought of a man touching her and is constantly masturbating, in full view of anyone. And Fred Ainslow, an alcoholic filthy chain smoker, who of course cooks the meals. The Hotel is owned by Brenda and George Clements, both of whom has a few dark secrets themselves. Distraught after the death of their daughter years ago they would seek anything to get her back.
Suzannah and Rose soon realise the place isn't what it seems. But are thankfully joined by another stranded motorist Owain Pugh and book dealer and collector ( could be one of us ) From here the three begin to realise just how warped and twisted the whole place is, especially when they discover a young woman bedridden ready to give birth to the spawn of satan. Just how it got their is a mystery to her as she claims to be a virgin.
Spectral shadows, Creeping ghostly hands, and Demon rape ensue in this rather ambiguous book, its never really clear why certain events arise and occur. And for what reason. As for Sex and death the book offers very little. Thats not to say its a worthless read, Its recommended of course, but some Smith fans may find it a little redundant compared to his more illustrious novels like Deathbell, The Sucking Pit and the Crabs books.
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Post by erebus on Mar 14, 2015 20:46:43 GMT
Shakespeare ? Dickens ? Never heard of em.
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Post by erebus on Mar 14, 2015 16:08:46 GMT
James Herbert was by far, for me Britain's greatest writer. Love all his books. I recently tackled Portent again, and although it is the lesser of his works, it stands heads above many other writers of the genre. We tend to forget Herbert set a high standard for himself so one of his books is inevitably going to come bottom. The Dark is my favourite book of his, and one of my all time favourites for that matter. First book to truly scare me as a young lad, the only other being The Ghosts of Sleath also by him. Considering another read of one of his books soon. 48 or maybe Once, as its been such a while. By Horror Haunted is a brilliant book. Incisive and with some great pictures too, well worth tracking down. As is The City, the graphic 4th volume of The Rats series. Good luck though as its going for outrageous prices. Looking forward to reading the blog.
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Post by erebus on Mar 12, 2015 13:47:28 GMT
Hello, and welcome to the board. Hope you enjoy your stay here. And also nice to have a lady around the place.
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Post by erebus on Mar 9, 2015 12:09:14 GMT
......To make matters whose, Gary is told his wife,Verni, has been killed in a cross channel ferry. Why anyone would want to venture near water in this time is beyond me. Perhaps its probably because Gary hasn't been home that often, he's been with his assistant half the time Lorna. In fact he beds her soon after the funeral, Shameless. The people of the city evacuate to the hills and high ground. Why do they not just stay away from the water ? Anyway Passenger Liners are now being attacked including the illustrious USS Stupendous. This is giving us and indication of how big the creatures have become. But thats not all, the laws of nature have been interrupted. A shark has bitten of a fishermans leg whilst he stood in knee high waters. An Octopus strangled yet another, and worse of all CLAMS have returned to Kent for the first time since 1960. Oh my Dear Lord is there no end to this madness. Garys, who has gotten over his wifes demise ridiculously quickly, has sent his kids to their Nans . This being so he can meet up with Glen and attend a European conference on how to defeat the Lampreys. They are soon told a Mega Lamprey has swam up the River Thames and got banked in the mud.
After a outrageous argument about landing a helicopter they are in ( Gary really is an arsehole ) the gang set down alongside the dead creature, One of the group is intrigued with the monsters mouth and does what anybody in the whole world would do and climb inside *Sigh!* "Wow its like Aladdins" cave he blurts, along with "Hey listen to the echo we could make a Pop record in here" I needn't tell you the rest. The dying creature also takes out Judd. He's sucked alive, his insides slurped away in one final swansong from the monstrous Lamprey.
The way the creatures are defeated is one of the most outrageously ridiculous means I've ever come across in a book of this sort. It truly is preposterous. As for the beached Giant Lamprey its blown up, along with half of Kent.
Looking at this the book sounds more exciting than it really is. Most if not all the details above don't happen within the storytelling, but are told as news reports and second hand passed on details. The few on page deaths are told quickly and clumsily with little or no detail, and the story moves on instantly like it never occurred. The main character is so very annoying, not to the degree of the bloke in Halkin's Slither. But he's a close run second. The rest of the characters are equally as frustrating . Its a shame really Jarvis didn't elaborate on the Lampreys and their attacks more. They truly are a nasty creature as Google images will back up. But I can't help feeling he just wanted to get a quick book out whilst the creature sub genre was still hot. The opening scene with Gary had me hooked, as I thought we would get Lampreys in sinks, drains, baths and shower heads, It would have made for a better book rather than going the way with big creatures in the seas and rivers. The little versions would be far more horrific and make for a better novel. Also I wish he kept the book confined to the UK rather than hop around the globe, disinterest sets in as a result.
Its a decent Hamlyn. Not one of the greats and cannot hold a torch to a Halkin or a Lewis. I recall my read of Maggots many years ago being a dreadfully boring experience. Don't know now if I should venture back.
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Post by erebus on Mar 8, 2015 19:24:21 GMT
A good Hamlyn indeed. Its no classic, but I did read the entire thing in one Sunday so it must have some redeeming qualities. It begins with a prologue of a group of kids finding their pussycat headless in their empty swimming pool. From then on in we meet our main character Garry Marshall a newspaper writer who gets him fingers sucked off whilst unblocking his drain on a Saturday afternoon. This doesn't seem to bother him that much as later he's dropping puns like crazy " leave it to me I've first hand experience " etc. Its here were the book surprised me. I thought the novel was confined to the perils in merry old England, but no. In Sweden we have Dr Carl Larson, who works for the Geological Research Group. He has noticied large explosions and seismic activities under the ocean. Meanwhile over in the US fat Glen Kalmar ( it says hes fat its not me being rude ) and his son witness ducks and geese being plucked from below the waters of the lake. In India a group of bathers are savaged in the River Ganges and a young actress in a film being shot in Delhi has her leg chomped off filming a scene " cut as clean as a sliced breadstick "
Garry gets promoted at the paper. The Daily Moniter. And exchanges notes with the various people who witness the attacks. He and the papers editors set up CHOP Co Ordination and Help to Overcome Pestilence. Dear Lord, and I thought CHUD was bad . The books Vignettes are not very frequent or graphic. And most tales are told in newspaper and Newsflash reports. Manatees being killed and washed up in Hong Kong. Gondolas being smashed up in Venice. One incident has Glen and his annoying kid and friends being attacked on a Steam Barge, the make it out alive via Helicopter , except old Chuck, who has his left lung sucked out through his backbone.
Dr Larson heads to London and fills everyone in about the eruptions, but the creatures are still unknown. Crocodiles suggests the Judd Cass the fated film director of earlier, Piranhas chips up another, but the nearest guess is the fellow at the National Aquarium who suggests eels. Nearly pal but no cigar.
Of course we gather eventually its Lampreys, giants and small, of all sizes. Unleashed from a dormant sleep of 540 million years. A three foot specimen is found dead in a Suffolk bath drain, but its the giants that are the worst problem. Garry and his female accomplice get out for the day to escape the rat race. Tranquillity is interrupted when they witness an old bloke slip on some seaweed sodden steps and plunge into the waters. A huge Lamprey attaches itself to his belly and feeds hungrily, Gary impales the beast with an anchor and pulls him free of the water, although he is dead, what do they do then ? Call for help ? Get the police ? no the leave him and bugger of in the car.
A yachting team are then attacked by gigantic versions. Slurped down like spaghetti. Over in the States Glen reckons they have caught the biggest on record, found dead feeding on a shark. Where in New Zealand a specimen is said to have been discovered attached to a Whale. A jealous Glen isn't impressed. Does this spell the end of humanity ? How can these creatures be destroyed ? More to come.... perhaps.
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Post by erebus on Mar 7, 2015 21:16:45 GMT
BEST.
Depraved Novel : SLITHER by Edward Lee. Of what I have read so far up until today March the 7th Pan Revisit : Volume 18. Enjoyable journey back TV Programme : THE WALKING DEAD, Still gets me excited. Autobiography : Back From the Brink by Paul McGrath. Not relevant to the site, but a brutally honest read.
WORST.
Book this year : CRIMSON by Gord Rollo. How on earth did this poorly written crap get published ? Football Fans : Aston Villa's Running on their pitch with rubber penises stuck to their heads. Magazine : FANGORIA. Gets more expensive and the paper gets cheaper, plus its edited by an arsehole. Beer : BECKS Green Lemon. Looks like washing up liquid but doesn't taste as good, no wonder it was cheap.
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Post by erebus on Mar 7, 2015 20:45:04 GMT
Gave this one a quick going over recently. Not to bad but it doesn't really have anything that sticks out or is memorable. For me David Campton's FIRSTBORN is probably my choice story here. Depraved and corrupt, and I always like those nasty plant stories that tend to surface in these collections. The Pans certainly had a few about, but none had perverted plants like these. Second best would be THE LEATHER FUNNEL. Horrible way to be tortured, well any torture is horrible although this one ends with a grim little quirk in its closing. Also a nod to BACK FROM THE GRAVE. Not so much the story, but for the descriptive way it is written, it certainly brought home to me the fear and horror of being buried alive.
LAOCOON COMPLEX ( what ? ) for me was just a little to ridiculous, a chap who has a fear of snakes appearing in his bath so much he wills them into existence. Why not have a fear of Holly Willoughby appearing naked in your bathroom or something. Stupid and didn't work for me. HARRY A FERRET. Young lad gets attached to his pet. His Mothers Housekeeper is told to take it out into the woods and release it. Revenge ensues. Bit like WILLARD, but with one Ferret. WAKING OR SLEEPING. The title gives this one away instantly. A man has the same nightmare over and over. He is suspended in a tiny cage in a filthy dungeon, a ragged old crone comes infrequently to feed him scraps. His wife sends him to the Doc who helps him rid him of the delusions and get him back to his normal life. Guess which is the dream and the normal life.. ? Yep you've guessed it.
WHERE NO WIND BLOWS is ok. Not to happy with the animal cruelty but He does get his just desserts. I was puzzled initially, is this his own private hell. Or has he been reincarnated as a farmyard animal and is seeing through their eyes now ?
I've not had much experience with the Fontana books. I am on course to rectify that with reading more. They do seem more certificate 15 as opposed to 18 certificated Pan's, if you get my meaning. But an entertaining collection nevertheless.
A nod to the grisy cover ( Its not depicted above sadly ) That soup doesn't look to bad if I'm honest. It does however remind of a tale my Nephews friend once told him, about how he apparently found an eyelid in his steak pudding. I did say apparently. Urban legends in the US have nothing on ours. And with that.....
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