Roger Dale Trexler - A (Re)Visit With The Shorts

[dem bones]

Roger Dale Trexler - A (Re)Visit With The Shorts: 25th Anniversary Edition (Annihilation Press, 2013: originally 1988)

Joseph A. West

Roger Dale Trexler - Time Capsule For Rent
Paul Dale Anderson - A Very Short Introduction

The Shorts
Cold Brew
Hard Copy
Finding a Thrill in the Horror Universe
Myself, and One Other
Yes, Piranha, There is a Manta Claus
The Accidental Tourists
Jack Short Gets Lucky
A Taste For Liquor
The Slaughter of Helpless Sheep
Retaliatory Strike
Pennywise and Company
The Case of the Shorts
Songs
Kings of the Nighttime World
All Night Laund-O-Rama
The Incomplete Man
The Beer
Working The Late Shift
What is Love ?
Is That A Streetlight or The Moon?
Satan’s Resume
A Cask of Generic Brand
High Tide
Wake Up Call

Have so many excuses-for-reviews to complete that now is most certainly not the time to begin yet another collection, but 25 stories in 98 pages should make for the ideal dip-in dip-out book in the background.

Except this is A Visit With The Shorts. Mauled on initial publication as "the worst collection of stories ever produced on this planet," the 25th Anniversary edition is augmented by a further nine (?) stories from Mr. Drexler's second volume, Cold Brew (1989). Reading it has been ... an experience.

The Shorts: There are three of them. Mom Clara, daughter Alicia, and son Jack 'the Blade' (a psychopathic killer), none of whom stands above three foot tall. The Shorts scratch a living as performers in Snidely's Circus, but they've hit hard times since Pa died. A hostile alien invasion brings a change in fortune. Back cover gives fair warning that these are "Tales of the bizarre and uncanny." The opener certainly qualifies as the former.

The Beer: Laid off Ad man Jack McKenzie beats nagging wife Samantha, steals from her purse, drives to the Liquor Store for a cheap twelve-pack. The stuff tastes foul and something slimy has taken up residence inside one of the cans. Samantha's oft-repeated prediction that one day the beer would get him proves spot on!

Myself, and One Other: A foetus avenges itself on Dr. Sarah Henderson of Chicago's 'Right To Choose' Abortion Clinic ...

Finding a Thrill in the Horror Universe: When your existence is one endless real-life gore movie with Sci-horror interludes it soon becomes tedious. The cat sprouts tentacles out of its head, the wife is gang-raped before devouring her assailants, monsters crawl from the TV screen ... Jack Yolen finds it all very humdrum.

A Taste For Liquor: You know those filler text stories in 'fifties horror comics? Imagine if some fly-by-night publisher had lauched a Bizarre Coprophilia Tales .... Tom and Helen sharing a drink. She complains that her beer tastes awful but his is great. Tom explains the secret is in the mixing, and rams the bottle up her arse before pouring. Thanks Tom, that's much much better!

A Cask of Generic Brand: A street bum re-enacts E. A. Poe's The Cask Of Amontillado on a budget.

Satan's Resume: The Counsel of Galactic All- Beings place an ad in the Omnipotent Times requesting a ruler for planet Earth. Satan forwards his impressive CV.

The Case of the Shorts (For Paul Dale Anderson): How Sergeant Emrik correctly identified a serial killer from a packed theatre audience. Not sure I should admit as much in public but the denouement is so jaw-dropping outrageous it had me fall off the couch in fits of laughter.

Songs: The Devil has all the best tunes, or, at least, the ones that appeal to those sucker Heavy Metal freaks, and that's all he needs to goad religious extremists to war. Enema Explosion's Go To Hell lights the fuse for Armageddon.

Jack Short Gets Lucky: Father uses his teenage daughter as bait to lure Jack 'The Blade' Short, the three foot tall sex-killer, from hiding. It works. Writing in Scream Factory #10, Peter Enfantio distinguishes A Taste For Liquor, the title story, and what reads like a "pro-life" propaganda piece, Myself, and One Other, as especially risible. I make him right, and this one's not far behind.

The Slaughter of Helpless Sheep: When Todd Compton pulls a gun on Religious cult leader, Sigmund French, the Holy man and his followers remain annoyingly unfazed, as well they might. These pesky Jesus people have the durability of cockroaches!

Is That A Streetlight or The Moon?: Last stand of Herman Travis, the suicidal werewolf, who can never forgive himself for shredding best pal Scott.

TBC

[dem bones]

Yes, Piranha, There is a Manta Claus: Festive fantasy. Decades back before mankind was obliterated by a Third World War, a giant mantra-ray attacked a boatload of humans and spread the spoils with a school of blowfish. So began a great annual tradition. A know-it-all young piranha dismisses this unlikely legend of Manta Claus as a stupid fairy tale ...

Pennywise and Company: A sad, burnt out old circus clown can't summon up the courage to end it all. Alcohol, his one true friend, thinks no less of him, promises to stick by him through to the end, no matter how tough things get.

What Is Love?: Planet Thuvia. Queen Eleta draws up a short-list of three potential bed-mates for the honour of bearing her offspring. Lucky winner will be he who provides the most satisfying answer to a simple question.

Kings Of The Nighttime World: Chicago street punks The Kings are used to having things their own way, but now there's a new crew in town. Creepy, pale fuckers, call themselves the Knights. When the rival outfit tear his two best lieutenants to pieces, Luke 'Cool Luke' Sainer, King of the Kings, rashly challenges them to a rumble in the park. King gang fang-banged.

High Tide: Back in Pennywise .... territory. Eric Brandon, retail store clerk, twenty-six and over the hill, his dreams of making it as a professional musician and/ or author in ruins. To date he's failed at everything, so why should suicide be any different?

[dem bones]

"I've watched Roger Dale Trexler develop from a rank amateur to a seasoned pro. His work has steadily improved, his vision has greatly expanded ..." - from Paul Dale Anderson's A Very Short Introduction.

These from the hit-and-miss second collection, Cold Brew, 1989. I'm no lit. crit., but there may be some truth in PDA's endorsement. Still the closest comparison I can make is still the filler short fiction from 'fifties horror comics gone seedy.

Hard Copy: Mike Laddon is working ghosters at KopyMart when an oddball shambles in and asks him to duplicate every page of a musty old book titled The Necronicom. Punchline constitutes a crime against the Cthulhu Mythos, but still an upgrade on much of the début collection.

The Incomplete Man: Vincent has finally found someone who loves him, but there are complications and he can't help wondering if Katherine means what she says.

Working The Late Shift: A former inmate of an hospital for the criminally insane lands his dream job. To say more would be spoiler too cruel, but this would be my pick of the twenty-five.

Cold Brew: A drunk lets on to barman Don Scally that the meaning of life is engraved at bottom of a bottle of Gold Fortune beer.

The Accidental Tourists: Financial ruin drives Bob and Hildy, fifty years married, to despair. They resolve on a drastic gesture that will both benefit their beloved son's young family and royally piss off the bank.

Retaliatory Strike: If you're gonna fly around dropping A-bombs on people, don't be surprised if they retaliate in kind.

All Night Laund-O-Rama: Harry Stillermen braves the mean streets of Oak Park after dark to visit the Laundromat, whose slogan "We clean up the town" is no idle boast. Scatology gone Sci-fi.

Wake Up Call: Gary Hamlish receives an unexpected call from ... downstairs.