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Post by dem bones on Jun 21, 2016 16:27:11 GMT
Kevin J. Anderson (ed.) - Blood Lite: A Collection Of Nerve-Jangling Tales With A Humorous Bite (Pocket, 2008) Lisa Desimini Kelley Armstrong - The Ungrateful Dead Joe R. Lansdale - Mr. Bear Lucien Soulban - Hell In A Handbasket Christopher Welch - The Eldritch Pastiche From Beyond The Shadows Of Horror Matt Venne - Elvis Presley And The Bloodsucker Blues Don D'Ammassa - No Problem Mark Onspaugh - Old School J. A. Konrath & F. Paul Wilson - The Sound Of Blunder Charlaine Harris - An Evening with Al Gore Steven Savile - Dear Prudence Will Ludwigsen - A Good Psycho Is Hard To Find Janet Berliner - High Kicks And Misdemeanours Eric James Stone - PR Problems Sherrilyn Kenyon - Where Angels Fear to Tread Mike Resnick - A Very Special Girl D. L. Snell - Love Seat Solitaire Nancy Holder - I Know Who You Ate Last Summer Nancy Kilpatrick - Bitches Of The Night Jeff Strand - The Bell ... FROM HELL!!! Sharyn McCrumb - Dead Hand Jim Butcher - Day OffBlurb: WARNING: THIS ANTHOLOGY CONTAINS WORKS OF FICTION THAT ARE GRUESOME, DISTURBING, HORRIFYING AND DROP-DEAD HILARIOUS! The Horror Writers Association Presents Blood Lite, a collection of entertaining tales that puts the fun back into dark fiction, with ironic twists and tongue-in-cheek wit to temper the jagged edge. Charlaine Harris reveals the dark side of going green, when a quartet of die-hard environmentalists hosts a fund raiser with a gory twist in An Evening with Al Gore ... In an all-new Dresden Files story from Jim Butcher, when it comes to tracking deadly paranormal doings, there's no such thing as a Day Off for the Chicago P.D.'s wizard detective, Harry Dresden ... Sherrilyn Kenyon turns a cubicle-dwelling MBA with no life into a demon-fighting seraph with one hell of an afterlife in Where Angels Fear to Tread ... Celebrity necromancer Jaime Vegas is headlining a sold-out séance tour, but behind the scenes, a disgruntled ghost has a bone to pick, in Kelley Armstrong's The Ungrateful Dead.
So let the blood flow and laughter reign - because when it comes to facing our deepest, darkest fears, a little humor goes a long way!Cover star remind you of anyone? "Humorous" is bad enough but "Drop Dead Hilarious!"? Not the worst of starts, but brace yourself, gentle reader, this could get very hideous indeed .... Will Ludwigsen - A Good Psycho Is Hard To Find: The Chainsaw Guy, a wannabe psychotic mass murderer, attacks the Soaring Osprey Camp. Hardly has the filleting fiend begun his reign of terror than supervisors Chet and Misty lure him to a spectacular doom, having lost only one of the thirty kids under their care. But the incident has a terrible effect on Chet and Misty's sex life. The amorous couple can no longer get it on without the delicious thrill of imminent death as a stimulant. Mark Onspaugh - Old School: When the school bus flattens a crossing guard [English: Lollypop Man/ Woman] near Forest Lawn Cemetery, Mal dips into his ancient Grimoire for the spell to return the unfortunate public servant to life. Unfamiliar with asterisks, he skips a footnote of vital importance ... Steven Savile - Dear Prudence: Miller is determined to spend the evening drinking and smoking himself stupid while watching the England match down the pub. Stumbling block is his detested wife. Common courtesy dictates that he at least leave her a TOTALLY HATE-FILLED note.
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Post by dem bones on Jun 23, 2016 11:02:20 GMT
Charlaine Harris - An Evening with Al Gore: Toddy and Mark Makepeace are emigrating to Sweden, a country more in keeping with their ethics as it takes its environmental responsibilities seriously . On the eve of their departure, the Makepeace's and friends host a fund-raising event in Boston. Kitchen and waiting staff are hired for their peculiar ... talents, while those select few celebrity B-listers to receive invitations have one thing in common - crimes against the Green cause. All goes to plan. The event is a massive flop, the guests seethe and whine, the donations are pitifully small. Ensuing bloody carnage may be construed as a little over the top, but the likes of corrupt EPA inspector George Huffman and Bella Bordelon, whose "beauty" products are tested on bunnies, would be enough to bring out the party animal in the best of us. Christopher Welch - The Eldritch Pastiche From Beyond The Shadows Of Horror: A support group for aspiring authors who suffer from a chronic obsession with the works of H. P. Lovecraft. On receipt of yet another rejection slip, Chris bravely admits to his problem before a roomful of fellow Cthulhu Mythos casualties. Only the last minute intervention of Nyarlathotep, working on behalf of Azathoth, the blind idiot God, prevents Chris from turning his back on an appalling literary career. Couldn't find a photo of Elvis anywhere on internet so will make do with this. Matt Venne - Elvis Presley And The Bloodsucker Blues: "You thought Clambake was bad, what happened next made Clambake look like Gone With the Fucking Wind". Elvis Presley, dispels the many myths surrounding his dignified, heroic death in the men's room at Graceland. Pop culture references including Richard Roundtree in Shaft, Star Wars, The Omega Man , Planet Of The Apes, 2001: A Space Odyssy, Watergate, Spiderman comics, Matigan The Necronomicon, and An American TrilogyIt's maybe time we listed Elvis-inspired horrors. William Relling, Jr. - The King (Karl E. Wagner [ed] Best New Horror IX, 1981). Mark Timlin - What Are They Doing in the Hyacinth House? (Stephen Jones & David A. Sutton [eds.] – Dark Voices 6, 1994) Bill Crider - King Of The Night (Martin H. Greenberg [ed.] - Celebrity Vampires, 1995. Tracy A. Knight - Blessed By His Dying Tongue(Martin H. Greenberg [ed.] - Celebrity Vampires, 1995. Philip Nutman - Blackpool Rock (Nancy A. Collins & Edward E. Kramer [eds.] - Forbidden Acts, 1995) Also (haven't read it).... Jack Yeovil - Comeback Tour (Boxtree, 1993) Gary Walton Blurb: Continuing the nightmare conspiracy first introduced in DEMON DOWNLOAD and KROKODIL TEARS
1998 and the King of Rock and Roll is still alive. After a twenty year stint in the U.S. army, Colonel Elvis Aaron Presley is back in circulation, his musical career long behind him, carving out a legend as the toughest independent Sanctioned Op in the South.
Presley's new employer is Krokodil, and his latest commission is a lot trickier than it sounds. Under two inches of rancid water at Cape Canaveral, the computer guidance systems are still operational and Nguyen Seth, Evil avatar of the apocalypse, is struggling to gain control of the near-obsolete system of orbital weapons.
Can Presley prevent the world from being encircled by a ring of high-tech death wielded by a madman? He will have to face the Ku Klux Klan, swamp dwelling mutants, voodoo worshippers and a world class terrorist to find out.Any more?
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Post by bobby on Jun 25, 2016 14:39:15 GMT
"Are You Loathsome Tonight?" by Poppy Z. Brite
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Post by dem bones on Jul 4, 2016 19:42:06 GMT
"Are You Loathsome Tonight?" by Poppy Z. Brite Thanks Bobby. Don't have a copy, but title suggests it's a must for the list. Back with Blood Lite, and the collection is not quite the turkey I'd been told it was (admittedly by somebody I suspect has never read it). Don D'Ammassa - No Problem: When Old Mrs. Gretchen Williams, local busy-body, comes to grief in his basement laboratory, aspiring MAD SCIENTIST Herbert Franklin does the decent thing and injects her with his miracle serum. The reanimated widow is more of a menace to her neighbours than ever as a result. Nancy Kilpatrick - Bitches Of The Night: Istvan, a trad Transylvanian vampire, has come to regret taking Sephora, Morgana, and Céline as his beautiful brides in death. Spiteful and vindictive, the recalcitrant trio are forever ganging up on their 'master,' taunting him over his impotence and interrupting his nightly box-set orgies. But this night they surprise him with an act of kindness - a birthday present in the form of Doru, a comely young Goth. If she can't bring a stir to his undead loins, nobody can.
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Post by dem bones on Jul 5, 2016 9:41:11 GMT
Eric James Stone - PR Problems: A poor misunderstood ghoul's lament. It's OK for vampires and werewolves, they get a favourable press, but who loves a grave-robbing carrion eater? To make matters worse, a serial killer is giving his kind a bad name. Mr. Ahsani, property developer by day, tomb-defiler by night, vows to put the psycho-killer out of commission.
Sharyn McCrumb - Dead Hand: With the tiny Trampas LaFey Stock Car Racing company facing ruin, Rattler, a pit-stop mechanic, works Cherokee magic to raise the ghost of a racetrack legend for one last crack at glory. The Champ is in terrible shape (he was mangled in a plane crash fifteen years ago), so Rattler borrows a nice fresh corpse from the Kingsport Funeral Home for the great man to animate. 'Victor Northstar' is soon back in the swing of things, but the commercial responsibilities of the modern game get on top of him. Better to return to death in a blaze of glory.
Does Stock Car racing qualify as sport?
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Post by bobby on Jul 5, 2016 22:58:38 GMT
"Are You Loathsome Tonight?" by Poppy Z. Brite Thanks Bobby. Don't have a copy, but title suggests it's a must for the list. I read it in the anthology The Children of Cthulhu. (Though there isn't really anything "Lovecraftian" about this story.)
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Post by dem bones on Jul 6, 2016 22:10:03 GMT
To best of my knowledge, the only previous HWA anthologies I've read are the clunky concept compilations, Under The Fang and Freak Show, neither of them by any means "bad" but nor are they in any danger of troubling personal all-time-top-twenty-smash anthologies. Blood Lite won't make that revered listing either, though, must say, am enjoying it far more than anticipated. Joe R. Lansdale - Mr. Bear: A talking bear achieves TV super-stardom as a spokesmammal for environmental issues. But Mr Bear has a dark side. Away from the camera he's a cigar-chomping, drug-addled serial killer with a down on hookers and, especially, arsonists, his mum having been killed in a forest fire. Not that his crimes are cause for concern. "The people I work for. They know how I am. They protect me. Hows it gonna be an icon goes to jail?" Jim, a timid businessman, is taking a plane home to Seattle. When the connection flight is delayed at Denver due to a snowstorm, Mr. Bear treats him to a night on the town. It doesn't take long for things to get out of hand.
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Post by bobby on Jul 8, 2016 23:05:14 GMT
To best of my knowledge, the only previous HWA anthologies I've read are the clunky concept compilations, Under The Fang and Freak Show, neither of them by any means "bad" but nor are they in any danger of troubling personal all-time-top-twenty-smash anthologies. Blood Lite won't make that revered listing either, though, must say, am enjoying it far more than anticipated. It must have sold well, because there were two follow-up volumes, Blood Lite II: Overbite and Blood Lite III: Aftertaste.
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Post by dem bones on Jul 18, 2016 9:03:13 GMT
Nancy Holder - I Know Who You Ate Last Summer: Meet Dwight and Angelo, stereotypical American rock-stars and devious cannibals. They've been getting away with eating women for decades, but now Angelo's fallen for Carla M., a goddamn snooty wannabe movie director they met at an AA meeting, there's a growing rift between them. Worse, it seems someone out there in Hollywood is on to their nasty secret ... Hard to dislike a story whose pop culture references include Dan Fogelberg, Rod Zombie, Uncle Fester, and Linsay Lohan.
Jeff Strand - The Bell ... FROM HELL!!!: An insignificant office employee at Tyler & Bettin, Inc., has this cheap little plastic bell which, he claims, will summon the Prince of Darkness should anyone be stupid enough to ring it 666 times in succession. Comes the fatal hour when smarmy, up-himself Rick from Corporate Accounting demands proof ....
Kelly Armstrong - The Ungrateful Dead: Jaime Vegas, wisecracking celebrity medium, is subjected to a nuisance haunting by a sweary spectral teenager hideously mutilated in a car accident, and his equally grisly zombie cousin. Try as she might to help them, the pair are woefully lacking in good manners. Exasperated, Jaime turns to a powerful but irresponsible young witch pal for assistance. Can Savannah rid her friend of these phantom morons?
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Post by dem bones on Jul 18, 2016 20:34:19 GMT
Mike Resnick - A Very Special Girl: The third of several Resnick stories to feature old time gangster Harry The Book and fellow patrons of Joey Chicago's 3-star Tavern, one of whom, 'Dead End' Dugan happens to be a foul-smelling, decomposing zombie. Dugan has fallen madly in love with a tentacle-haired, green skinned gal named Anna Conda and, in a moment of passion, handed her $3000 as a present. Unfortunately the money wasn't his to give and Harry wants it back. The gang head over to her place for a showdown . As you probably guessed, Anna rents a room above Creepy Conrad's Curiosity Shop.
Jim Butcher - Day Off: Another series character, Harry Dresden, Chicago's only professional wizard/ occult detective. Harry's workload is a scandal, but today NOTHING is going to come between his spending a peaceful 24 hours in the company of lovely Anastasia. Unfortunately, the day has other ideas. While Molly, his saucy apprentice, is busy blowing up the lab, Dresden's werewolf pals, Andi and Kirby, come down with a nasty dose of psychophagic parasite, and to cap it all, somehow he's upset a bunch of Goth Harry Potter casualties with a neat line in devastatingly puny magic. There's no rest for the anti-wicked, Mr. Dresden.
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Post by dem bones on Jul 20, 2016 16:38:57 GMT
J. A. Konrath & F. Paul Wilson - The Sound Of Blunder: Mick 'The Mick' Brady and his sub-moronic best pal/ personal punchbag Willie Corrigan owe $60,000 to Nate the Nose on account of Willie's nan mistaking a key of Colombian for a bag of flour. If Nate doesn't get his money back, they'll be treated to a "San Francisco hot-dog" apiece (don't ask). Willie hits on his first ever brainwave. Suppose they were to steal something valuable from the Arkham Museum of Natural History & Baseball Cards?
D. L. Snell - Love Seat Solitaire: Sam regrets taking a long lease on his flat. The previous occupant was a lonely drunk whose goldfish was only friend was a goldfish. Now his ghost commandeers the love seat, alternating between endless games of solitaire and throwing the furniture around whenever Sam's slacker pals pay a visit. Only the toilet is safe on account of that is where he drowned. Today he's in a particularly hostile mood.
Reads like Beavis & Butthead versus a Poltergeist
Sherrilyn Kenyon - Where Angels Fear To Tread: "But his car radio was whacked out. The CD player wouldn't work and every time he changed the station, some weird-ass song would play. AC/DC's Highway To Hell, Hell's Bells, Evil Walks. Gobsmack's Releasing The Demons. Papa Roach's Roses On My Grave."
Luckless Zeke Jacobson studied hard and obtained his degree ... and for what? A soul-destroying job taking abuse over the phone at Taylor Transport Claims Division call centre. If only his life would change. If only his life would actually start. And then ...
Zeke's reclusive grandfather dies leaving him all his worldly possessions, including all manner of strange arcane detritus accumulated over a long and distinguished archaeological career. Meanwhile in Heaven, St. Michael has retired from his post as God's Avenger, necessitating Gabriel to appoint a replacement ...
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Post by dem bones on Sept 4, 2021 16:36:01 GMT
Janet Berliner - High Kicks And Misdemeanours: Set in a high security military base in the Yucca mountains, where a herd of ostriches are trained as special Ops assassins for service in the Middle East. Legs Cleveland, Vegas club owner and manager of long-legged chorines, Radio City Rockettes, is abducted by special forces, brought to the base. The authorities are under mistaken impression that Cleveland has inherited his late native American friend's ostrich spirit guide. He hasn't, but what he does have is plans for five of the birds which may prove mutually beneficial.
Lucien Soulban - Hell In A Handbasket: A baby girl is left outside to the gates of Hell. The demons meet in the great assembly hall to decide what becomes of her. All are in favour of feasting on her tiny flesh, save Vassago, who has an inkling who left her there, and why, and realises her capabilities. He names the infant Eve, and takes her into his care. Beelzebub, Lilith, Hecate and the gang hatch a plot to abduct Eve and banquet on her bones.
Couldn't get into this final pair, which is a bit of a shame as overall, I found Blood Lite a less gruelling reading experience than previous 'humorous' horror anthologies sampled.
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