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Post by Deleted on May 21, 2014 3:42:07 GMT
Howdens Kitchens Reviews ,
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Post by Craig Herbertson on May 21, 2014 6:39:31 GMT
Don't ask me why but I went on this site. Surprisingly it turned out to be quite interesting and not a little surreal.
Here is one intriguing example of the comments:
'This site is so fake its like buying trainers from the boot of someones car.
It is ran by the employees of a small kitchen company in Warrington who's business model was to fill hundreds of forums with fake posts.
once they realised that it wasn't working as a way to generate more business they decided to try to discredit a national supplier of quality kitchens.
their standard (as seen on many other forums are as such)they will either reply accusing me of working for Howdens or they will engage in a long drawn out fake conversation with the hope of drowning this post out.'
The rest of the site is an equally bewildering mess of claim and counterclaim and mysterious names, apparently protagonists in the great kitchen empire, crop up like characters from a Bert Brecht play. It struck me that by some cosmic irony it would make a good basis for a horror story.
I then remembered that I'd already written a story about a Boggart who wanted to live in a gleaming kitchen
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Post by thecoffinflies on May 21, 2014 15:43:12 GMT
Oh my, this is quite a special site.
Is it a bizarre, protracted, ineffective and obscurely-motivated hoax?
People write in complaining about their bad kitchens from Howdens. They can't upload pictures.
Occasionally they blow each other virtual kisses and add "wink wink lol" before going on to "How can you call this Service it's disgusting"...
Someone called Leanne keeps complaining that their real name is Terry, yet the site persists in calling them Leanne.
And at one point in the thread entitled 'Gypsies Tramps And Thieves', Leanne (Terry?) points out "These poor poor people all in the sane boat as me." A truly heartrending description of the tragedy of mental illness.
I think the whole thing may be a novel-in-the-form-of-a-website by Victor Pelevin...
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Post by Craig Herbertson on May 21, 2014 18:03:04 GMT
Oh my, this is quite a special site. Is it a bizarre, protracted, ineffective and obscurely-motivated hoax? People write in complaining about their bad kitchens from Howdens. They can't upload pictures. Occasionally they blow each other virtual kisses and add "wink wink lol" before going on to "How can you call this Service it's disgusting"... Someone called Leanne keeps complaining that their real name is Terry, yet the site persists in calling them Leanne. And at one point in the thread entitled 'Gypsies Tramps And Thieves', Leanne (Terry?) points out "These poor poor people all in the sane boat as me." A truly heartrending description of the tragedy of mental illness. I think the whole thing may be a novel-in-the-form-of-a-website by Victor Pelevin... The song lyrics and random musings inserted at various points are interesting. As is the question 'Who is Vance?' Several claimants to this.
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Post by pulphack on May 22, 2014 5:32:27 GMT
What have you done to me, Craig... I've bookmarked the site as have read so far and need to go back and read more. It's like Ionesco in a modern format. Either there are many deranged people out there... well, there are, but what I mean is many deranged people with a thing about Howden Kitchens, or else it's some kind of elaborate hoax. But then I thought that about Vance Miller, and he seems to really exist (this must be the Vance who is mentioned, surely?). Is it some kind of absurdist art joke along the line of Smile and Monty Cantsin, from the 80's and 90's??
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Post by Craig Herbertson on May 22, 2014 5:45:02 GMT
What have you done to me, Craig... I've bookmarked the site as have read so far and need to go back and read more. It's like Ionesco in a modern format. Either there are many deranged people out there... well, there are, but what I mean is many deranged people with a thing about Howden Kitchens, or else it's some kind of elaborate hoax. But then I thought that about Vance Miller, and he seems to really exist (this must be the Vance who is mentioned, surely?). Is it some kind of absurdist art joke along the line of Smile and Monty Cantsin, from the 80's and 90's?? Sorry, I got infected and then...the plague. Part of the reason I looked was because they annoy me so much I thought about posting adverts all over the site, Then it was like Dr Livingstone - you see the vast vista of the jungle and you get all confused. it occurred to me that people are also getting sucked into the lunacy. Maybe this is the format of the apocalypse
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Post by Deleted on May 25, 2014 18:19:16 GMT
High resolution Sexy Girl Pictures of your favorite celebrities and models.
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Post by Jojo Lapin X on May 25, 2014 18:48:47 GMT
Perhaps photographed in . . . kitchens?
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Post by valdemar on Jul 18, 2015 0:18:51 GMT
Oh god - I had a look at what you are talking about, and it made me cry with laughter. 'Theatre Of The Absurd' it most definitely is, with a touch of Vic Reeves & Bob Mortimer on acid. It's a shame that the great Ken Campbell is dead - this would be right up his street. It would be titled by me, something like: "Inarticulate Bollocks From Non Sequitur World".
PS: I have got an old cooker in my back yard - anybody want one?
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Post by Deleted on May 12, 2016 15:10:09 GMT
Solid Wood Bedroom Furniture Sale.
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Post by ramseycampbell on May 16, 2016 10:22:35 GMT
May we assume your head is composed of the same material?
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Post by Shrink Proof on May 17, 2016 8:08:34 GMT
Solid Wood Bedroom Furniture Sale. As opposed to Liquid Wood Furniture.
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Post by ropardoe on May 17, 2016 8:29:19 GMT
The point, surely, is that we don't know whether the furniture is haunted or not. This is always a risk with wooden furniture - look what happened to Dr Haynes: When I grew in the Wood I was water'd with Blood... etc., etc.
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Post by Jojo Lapin X on May 17, 2016 9:34:50 GMT
The point, surely, is that we don't know whether the furniture is haunted or not. This is always a risk with wooden furniture - look what happened to Dr Haynes: When I grew in the Wood I was water'd with Blood... etc., etc. It now occurs to me that that does not really rhyme, unless pronunciations have changed dramatically since 1699.
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Post by valdemar on May 30, 2016 22:38:36 GMT
The solid wood bed - with oak pillows, walnut sheets, and a teak mattress. No sleep. Guaranteed. Plus, the Solid Wood wardrobe; A huge piece of oak carved into the shape of a wardrobe...
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