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Post by cauldronbrewer on Feb 2, 2014 17:06:32 GMT
... and referenced in the masterpiece of story-telling - i'm serious - that is Eminem's Stan. No argument here. I was going to mention "Stan," but I didn't figure on the Vault being such a hotbed of Eminem fandom. Are you familiar with the sequel? It turns out Stan's brother is just as crazy I was unaware of this.
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Post by Craig Herbertson on Feb 2, 2014 19:42:04 GMT
That's the song. Thankfully the only one I vaguely know
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Post by franklinmarsh on Feb 2, 2014 19:54:12 GMT
You utter fiend, Dem. This appalling piece of (T)h(w)ackery has compelled me to pick up a copy of Jane Eyrotica. (Not you I kid)
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Post by dem bones on Feb 3, 2014 11:37:14 GMT
You utter fiend, Dem. This appalling piece of (T)h(w)ackery has compelled me to pick up a copy of Jane Eyrotica. (Not you I kid) No fair, me want! ... and referenced in the masterpiece of story-telling - i'm serious - that is Eminem's Stan. No argument here. I was going to mention "Stan," but I didn't figure on the Vault being such a hotbed of Eminem fandom. From what I can make out from the regular contributors to this board, our collective musical tastes are pretty much as eclectic and, often, appalling as our "literary" ones, which is all to the good. Thank you for putting me on to Bad Guy, JoJo. Meanwhile, back with Fifty Shades ..., we have entered that uncomfortable realm where the distinctions between sensual erotica and hard core porno are, at best blurred. Yes, Lord Darcy is shaping up to flog Elizabeth senseless. With a parsnip.
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Post by Craig Herbertson on Feb 3, 2014 13:35:13 GMT
You utter fiend, Dem. This appalling piece of (T)h(w)ackery has compelled me to pick up a copy of Jane Eyrotica. (Not you I kid) No fair, me want! No argument here. I was going to mention "Stan," but I didn't figure on the Vault being such a hotbed of Eminem fandom. From what I can make out from the regular contributors to this board, our collective musical tastes are pretty much as eclectic and, often, appalling as our "literary" ones, which is all to the good. Thank you for putting me on to Bad Guy, JoJo. Meanwhile, back with Fifty Shades ..., we have entered that uncomfortable realm where the distinctions between sensual erotica and hard core porno are, at best blurred. Yes, Lord Darcy is shaping up to flog Elizabeth senseless. With a parsnip. You used the word 'taste' by mistake there Dem. A parsnip - now I'm intrigued. How do you actually flog someone with a parsnip?
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Post by pulphack on Feb 4, 2014 6:34:48 GMT
With difficulty, presumably...
If you want to know about musical taste, get Dem on to a good rant about the time he went to see Greenslade by mistake... leave plenty of time...
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Post by Craig Herbertson on Feb 4, 2014 12:49:01 GMT
With difficulty, presumably... If you want to know about musical taste, get Dem on to a good rant about the time he went to see Greenslade by mistake... leave plenty of time... My brother had a Greenslade Album - I liked the Roger Dean cover.... The biggest Spinal Tap thrill I had was seeing our show poster 'Ce;tic Life' squeezed in-between that of Smokie and a forthcoming Puppet Show. I knew I had made it then.
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Post by pulphack on Feb 4, 2014 20:55:56 GMT
Ah now, they were deceptive with their covers - Dean and Patrick Woodruffe (spelling?) did all of the albums between them, and because I like PW I got caught out... I like prog, but even I found it self-indulgent twaddle! To be fair, Dave Greenslade did some good writing and playing in Colosseum, but should never have been let loose without the firm leadership of Jon Heiseman (spelling again?) to rein him in.
Never had a puppet show moment - I'm very jealous. The closest any of my bloody awful bands ever came was playing in the tent next to the facepainting.
I dunno about you, but I'm still waiting to find out about the parsnip!
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Post by dem bones on Feb 5, 2014 12:40:05 GMT
I dunno about you, but I'm still waiting to find out about the parsnip! "The fact that the parsnip is a member of the carrot family comes as no surprise." - BBC GoodFood Guide. Either the Lady in Red is just another trendy s & m poseur, or Darcy was paying less attention than he might during her lessons. For all our Byronic Love-God's posturing, the only suffering Elizabeth has endured in his purple pantry of pleasure is a crushing sense of disappointment. Another thing; "There, in the inn forecourt, was a magnificent sight - Charlie Tango, standing proud and ready, swollen to full size, waiting for her. She had never seen anything so breathtakingly enormous. Mr. Darcy, clad in an open-necked white shirt and tight grey flannel riding breeches, did not look up, so engrossed was he in humping sandbags over the rim of Charlie Tango's basket." And you're quite sure you didn't write this, Mr. Marsh?
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Post by Craig Herbertson on Feb 5, 2014 15:26:48 GMT
It's got Marsh written all over it - except perhaps the parsnip
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Post by Dr Strange on Feb 5, 2014 17:02:36 GMT
I've no intention of ever reading any of the books mentioned, but this is fast becoming my favourite thread on the Vault.
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Post by pulphack on Feb 6, 2014 6:13:10 GMT
Perhaps Mr Marsh had discovered the secret joys of root vegetables? I suspect this sudden appearance of a Carry On Classics mash-up genre may account for why he has been so quiet of late...
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Post by dem bones on Feb 8, 2014 7:51:46 GMT
Victorian Vileness: Darcy invents the slave-chair Maybe it's that they are not compatible, maybe its Darcy's utter uselessness in matters BDSM, but things are not working out for our loved-up couple. Darcy really ought to have something done about his prem. ejac. problem. All it takes is a nice big bendy banana or two wobbling jellies on a plate and - his dry cleaning bills must be astronomical. It's no good. Elizabeth breaks the contract and returns home to Hertfordshire, leaving Fitzwilliam distraught. Its over. Again. But neither thinks to inform his Dominatrix. A visit from the the terrifying Lady Catherine De Burgh and entourage. The Lady in Red leather - family crest, "a pair of naked buttocks surrounded by vicious looking spikes" - demands Elizabeth break off all relations with Darcy as her niceness is a corrupting influence - already he's spurned the enema kit for the joys of the jig-saw puzzle. Buoyed by this small success, the plucky Miss Bennet treats her visitor to a taste of her own medicine. Exit a sad-but-wiser Lady Catherine, with a flea in her ear and a birch tree rammed up her arse. Can it be that our heroine will succeed in swaying the dashing young perve from his life of vice? Answer, no - she has a miles better idea than that. A happy compromise is reached. A mutually enjoyable, straightforward screw seals the deal. Wedding Bells! If Elizabeth can but survive the horrors lurking within Fitzwilliam's Sage Green Shed of Shocking Artefacts, the chances are good that Mr & Mrs. Darcy really shall live happily ever after .... Smut, rubbish jokes, mindless drivel, unlikely abuse of groceries and household appliances - pretty much a busman's holiday, all things considered. That Mr. Thwackery gets his business done in a very doable 190 pages definitely goes in his favour. There's little chance of me me dragging Pride & Prejudice & Zombies or Abraham Lincoln, Vampire Hunter from the shelf of shame any century soon, but might try another of the erotic titles should one come this way.
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Post by dem bones on Feb 10, 2014 11:25:43 GMT
Turns out 'William Codpiece Thwackery' is better known to her parents as Tessa Clayton, whose previous works include The Guinness Book of Film and You Know You're Married When ..... Shortly before publication, our lady of parsnips answered a Fifty Shades of Mr. Darcy Q & A session for The Bennet Sisters blog. If you wanna know more, you need only click the link.
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