Karren Brady - United!

[dem bones]

Karren Brady - United! (Warner, 1996)

Blurb:
What does it take for a woman to make it in a man's world? Sara Moore is about to find out...

Brave, beautiful, smart and, above all, ambitious, Sara seems to have it all. But a brilliant career in journalism is shattered by the tragic death of her lover.

Gradually she picks up the threads but, unknown to Sara, unseen hands are shaping her destiny, and her life changes irrevocably when she is left a vast fortune, which includes a controlling share in an ailing football club.

But when she takes her rightful place at the helm, Sara uncovers a web of corruption spun so deep that its secrets threaten to bring down an empire — an empire someone is willing to go to any lengths to protect...

From the sleazy world of Soho to the stunning backdrop of Rio, United is the irresistible story of one woman's determination to beat the boys at their own game..

Quite possibly my ultimate "it's for a friend" moment, as, unable to endure the jeers of the unenlightened, i actually imposed on the bride of dem to get it for me. The worst of it is, Ms. Brady's foray into the sex-rated world of the beautiful game has been high on my hit-list ever since I saw an entire bargain basket full of them in Sainsburys all those years ago. According to the Daily Exp**ss reviewer, United! is `a sexy, bouncy... doorstop of a read,' while Jack Higgins enthuses "It's Jackie Collins with football boots on." Other commentators have been less generous in their praise. 'A Customer' on Amazon, for example, raves;

"This rip-roaring yarn of the life and times of stunningly beautiful model/journalist/football MD is so dreadful that the only motivation to continue reading this is to see if it can actually get any worse (it can). The sex scenes make you cringe and the praise heaped on the irresistible heroine makes you wonder if Ms. Brady has not cast her own self as the red-headed, green-eyed leading lady ...."

Can it really be as super as all that? Only six long days to go before I can find out!

[pulphack]

Blimey, I'd forgotten about the novel, though I did know someone at Warners at the time who moaned about it because she was a lit snob and hated the fact that she had to work on football bonkbusters. She should have freelanced the job to me, working on ANYTHING to do with this would be a pleasure. I think I would probably send mrs PH to the cash desk with a copy, too, but I know her - she'd make sure they knew it was for me anyway.

I didn't know Miss Brady had written a Bluenose season diary as well - given her super soaraway Sun work, maybe she should consider a Shammers volume? That would be interesting considering the Olympic stadium saga. How they can justify taking £40million from the poorest borough (top two at best) in the UK - Newham - to help finance what is basically only for a few blokes in Hornchurch and Basildon (which are certainly NOT in Newham) is beyond me. Having said that, I don't know a single Hammer of my acquaintance who is particularly keen on the move. As an Orient fan I'm supposed to hate the Shammers on principle, but really it's the current owners who are the real problem.

Having said that, and considering her politics make me spit blood, I can't help liking the lovely Karren as it's taken balls of steel to do what she's done, especially as when Sullivan of all people put her in at Birmingham there were the obvious (and wrong) conclusions drawn. And she does it well from the board's point of view. Also, extra footy fan brownie points for the integrity of making BCFC offload Paul Peschesolido (sp?) when she was going to marry him, as it would be impossible for him to have a bad day at the office without everyone screaming he was only in the team for one reason.

[dem bones]

Thanks for the insider info, Mr. Hack. A bit disappointed, if not entirely surprised, to learn that United! is at least partially ghosted. Lady Brady followed it with the similarly themed Trophy Wives (Sphere, 1998), concerning the exploits of West London premier league giants, Tanning Hill FC. Again, the critics were far from unanimous in their praise, but then we don't take any notice of our own reviews so why worry about anybody else's? Will be giving this a fair crack of the whip shortly, but first, there's the little matter of Mr. Finch's searing Sacrifice to survive ....

[dem bones]

When first we meet, Sara Moore is a young, intelligent, beautiful, impossibly wonderful journalist working undercover as an escort in a Brewer Street dive. 'Mickey's Bar' is especially popular with drug-taking, orgy participating, match-fixing Premiership footballers, and this does not sit well with our heroine. "Sara was a soccer fan - in fact, football was one of the major passions in her life. She hated seeing the game tinted by so much corruption." Resourceful as ever, Sara has taken to carrying a filofax in her suspender belt (and, most likely, an Amstrad in her bra), and spends much of the shift in the toilet jotting down snippets of overheard conversation. She already has enough evidence to nail Ashton F.C.'s Billy Todd as a coke-head, but the real story is in the epidemic of steroid abuse shortly to hit the beautiful game. Avoiding the slobbering punters is one thing, but Mickey is a sadist who gets his kicks torturing women with cigarettes and before Sara knows it, he has whisked her away into his office, forced two lines of coke up her nose and set about showing her who is boss. Sara is forced to give him a good kicking and scarper as fast as her stiletto heels will allow. Small wonder she is forever being stopped in the street and offered modelling work. Not only is she beautiful, intelligent, wonderful, etc, she is harder than Xena, Warrior Princess.

Sara can't know it yet, because she's not read the prologue but, this little black dress shredding baptism of fire will all be worth it. Thanks to a mystery benefactor, she will soon inherit a substantial stake in the Herald newspaper group, much to the chagrin of Cynthia Hargreaves, the formidable face-lift on legs who owns the company, and dismisses her as a "tart"!

In the meantime, Sara has hooked up with a handsome TV documentary maker to investigate drug abuse in sport ...

Goodness, but I would have steamed into this weeks ago if I'd known it would prove such addictive nonsense!