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Post by Johnlprobert on Mar 23, 2010 20:53:10 GMT
The Dance of Death & Other Stories – Oscar Williams, Morris Books 1947
The Dance of Death
The Man He Saw
Alf’s Bombshell
The Stronger Tie
You Can’t Get Away With It
Puzzle: Find the Thief
The Tooth
The Witness
Fogarty Strikes His Flag
Unknown Destination
When the Hangman Beckons
I know it has been mentioned by Franklin Marsh amongst others on this board that when it comes to awful horror films, “he watches them so you don’t have to”. Well, now my Midas touch for finding utter rubbish seems to be stretching to books as well.
‘Morris Books Are Always Good!!’ proclaims the slightly hysterical banner stretched across the back of this one. Alas this turns out not to be true. In fact never has the trades description act been more criminally infringed as Mr Williams’ ‘The Dance of Death & Other Stories’ turns out not just to be awful but quite possibly one of the worst books I have ever read.
Don’t believe a word of the dust jacket. None of these stories are ‘intensely dramatic in theme’. Most of them are weak and a few are so pointless that I was left scratching my head in bewilderment.
The title story concerns circus dance act The Great Nolanskis. Josef fancies Marie but she’s in love with Tom the trapeze artist. Before these soap opera shenanigans can get at all racy Josef decides to kill Marie as they do their spider and fly act over a pit of knives. You can guess the ending before closing the book as things only get worse from hereon in. ‘Alf’s Bombshell’ is a dialogue driven piece with a twist so staggeringly out of left field one gets the impression Mr Williams opened his box of story twists and, rather than choosing one at random, picked the stupidest most unlikely one. ‘You Can’t Get Away with It’ details the hazards of not washing your trousers once you’ve killed your wife, while ‘The Tooth’ plumbs new depths of daftness as a man is driven to madness by his wife’s front sticky-out tooth that he eventually sorts out with a big hammer. Half the book is taken up by the final story ‘When the Hangman Beckons’ which the jacket describes as ‘frankly, a thriller, written with all the verve and tenseness that is so characteristic of the author’s work’. I think I might give it a miss.
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Post by dem bones on Mar 24, 2010 13:33:56 GMT
Half the book is taken up by the final story ‘When the Hangman Beckons’ which the jacket describes as ‘frankly, a thriller, written with all the verve and tenseness that is so characteristic of the author’s work’. I think I might give it a miss. John, you beastly cad! what happened to 'mr. stamina'? and where on earth did you turn up this treasure? from your plot outlines, The Dance of Death sounds delightfully lurid while The Tooth seems to have invented the very bad Pan Horror stories thirty years early. |
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Post by Johnlprobert on Mar 24, 2010 13:57:22 GMT
Quite right Mr D. In fact I'm a little ashamed of that momentary defeatist attitude. Rest assured I started the novella last night & a review will follow.
I found this in a bookshop in Abergavenny during the Arthur Machen weekend. No-one else there had heard of Mr Williams & I wondered if I might have an undiscovered classic on my hands.
The night-time readings of these stupid vignettes have had Lady P in stitches, though. Perhaps if we ever have a Vault convention I might be permitted to read one?
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Post by dem bones on Mar 24, 2010 18:25:30 GMT
I found this in a bookshop in Abergavenny during the Arthur Machen weekend. No-one else there had heard of Mr Williams & I wondered if I might have an undiscovered classic on my hands. i don't think there can be any question that you have. thank you most kindly, your worship. were such a hideous event ever to take place, we should be only too pathetically grateful for any entertainment you see fit to provide. perhaps, following the impending success of your Corruption at Brighton, a stage adaptation of You Can’t Get Away with It with all parts again shared between yourself and the excellent Lady P? |
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Post by Johnlprobert on Apr 20, 2010 20:00:47 GMT
When the Hangman Beckons: Oh good grief. All I can say is that it was just as well I read the rest of the book before embarking on this 20 000 word load of old pseudo-noir rubbish, otherwise I might well have died laughing. I really do think Mr Williams was the equivalent of a 1940s Ed Wood. Combining kidnapping, murder, gangsters, a savage bloodhound, an ugly old woman 'grotesque in her ungainliness', a socko-boffo hero, a beautiful put-upon thoroughly useless heroine and a policeman given to singing nursery rhymes at inappropriate moments this is seriously, seriously classic stuff. And now I can't wait to find my next Morris book because they are, as the cover proclaims 'always good'.
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Post by dem bones on Jun 23, 2015 12:34:46 GMT
Don't suppose your copy came with its dust jacket, Lord P? Must say, I can only parrot your fulsome tribute. Oscar Williams is an unjustly neglected master of the Ripping Yawn, and fans of the raw tosh Charles Birkin saw fit to include in later volumes of Creeps, once he'd exhausted his halfpenny budget and needed 150 pages filled in a hurry, will thrill to the surreal terrors of The Tooth and the tragic Fogarty Strikes His Flag.
The Dance Of Death: "The dancer was screaming now: screams of sheer terror that chilled the blood. The air was full of the sense of impending drama." A night of horror at Bingley's "Mammoth Circus." Maggie Benson is AKA 'Marie', one half of 'The Great Nolanski's' whose death defying dancing act involves the glamorous duo chasing one another across a raised platform over a pit of knives. Much to the displeasure of dancing partner Josef (AKA 'that dirty foreign dago'), Maggie has been seeing Tom Fox, the randy trapeze artist. Overcome by the green eyed monster, Josef hits the bottle. There can only be one ending. And there is. Fair to say, the audience get their money's worth.
The Man He Saw: The condemned man protests his innocence but no-one's listening. His gaolers are getting fed up. Why can't he accept his fate and stop making such a song and dance about it? Now the hour of execution is upon him. Composed at the last, he makes his way to the scaffold - only to recognise the face of the murderer!
The Tooth: Another day, another condemned man entertains his gaolers, except this fellow freely confesses to murdering wife Millie. He just wants everyone to understand why.
"Yes, I was married to a big, ugly, prominent front tooth. Oh, such a whopper! Such a big, white devil. For twenty years I was looking at it; morning, noon and night .... "
Vault Advent Calendar potential and no mistake, unless Mr. Williams surprises us with something salacious.
Fogarty Strikes His Flag: Facing bankruptcy, Old Tom Fogarty decides to end it all by sticking his head in the gas oven. If only he had a penny for the meter!
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Post by mcannon on Jun 24, 2015 2:59:46 GMT
With rave reviews like those of Dem and Lord P, how could I resist such a work of high literature? A quick internet search reveals that a reasonably-priced copy isn't too hard to find or very expensive (pity about that blasted international postage, though). I look forward to learning in a few week's time whether Tom Fogarty manages to spend a penny!
Mark
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Post by dem bones on Jun 24, 2015 5:25:39 GMT
With rave reviews like those of Dem and Lord P, how could I resist such a work of high literature? A quick internet search reveals that a reasonably-priced copy isn't too hard to find or very expensive (pity about that blasted international postage, though). I look forward to learning in a few week's time whether Tom Fogarty manages to spend a penny! Mark Ah, so a fortnight from now that will be two of us out for his Lordship's blood.  Unknown Destination: At the age of 67, self-made company boss Cornelius Jordan, the man with the "knobby temples", drops the bombshell that he is taking his first ever holiday. The old curmudgeon refuses to tell anyone, even his wife, where exactly he's going , or how long he'll be away, but the truth is, ever since childhood, he's wanted to see the sea. Let's hope he doesn't get too excited on the train journey! Puzzle: Find the Thief: It's just Mr Williams' luck that this was written 67 years too soon for inclusion in Horror Uncut: Tales Of Social Insecurity & Economic Unease. Joe Clancy, an impoverished, down-and-out, sometimes busker, performs odd jobs in return for a few shillings to keep him in food, board and Woodbines. Today he offers to chop wood for the terrifying Mrs. Henry Matthews, pillar of the community, who spends her days penning 'Letters to the Editor', proposing harsh judicial remedies for 'Social Problems' like Joe Clancy. Who will be the wronged party in this trade deficit waiting to happen? You Can’t Get Away With It: Moral: if you're planning on killing Ethel, be sure not to sit in the incriminating evidence. The Dance Of Death has already convinced me that Morris books warrant further investigation and am now on the lookout for something called The Morris Thriller Omnibus, advertised at back as "A 120, 000 word collection of well-written, thrilling stories of crime, adventure, sport and travel." |
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Post by dem bones on Jun 25, 2015 17:45:13 GMT
The Witness: Bested in a power struggle with rival trader Charlie Goggan, unscrupulous Peter Wayland resolves to torch his ill-gotten business premises and claim the insurance. Crime doesn't pay up.
Alf’s Bombshel: According to his parents, Alf Piper's poor employment history is down to his being a cut above other chaps, far too intelligent and artistic for menial occupation. So, rich uncle George of the bad temper (you "silly old josser!"), if you could see your way to finding him a position at your Manchester offices so he can marry that nice Florrie Chugg, well, you'll not regret it! One day, when he's snapped out of his current depression, Alf will surprise us all with a bombshell!
To say more would be to spoil it, but along with The Dance Of Death and The Tooth, this story finds Oscar on top form.
The Stronger Tie: A single mum is determined that nothing will spoil beloved son Ronnie's 21st birthday. So imagine her distress when the husband who deserted them both all those years ago shows up on her doorstep demanding money with menaces. Another of Mr. Williams' trademark "how was the reader supposed to see that coming?" endings.
Which leaves only When the Hangman Beckons. All one hundred+ pages of it ....
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Post by Johnlprobert on Jun 27, 2015 21:15:55 GMT
Thank Heavens! Someone else has discovered the "delights" of Oscar Williams!
Dem, my copy does indeed have a dust-jacket, and in very good condition it is too! How that bookshop could bear to charge only a couple of quid for such a treasure is a mystery to me.
Beware, though - Mr Williams' follow-up book of novellas 'Harringay's Last Gamble' is nowhere near as good / bad.
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Post by dem bones on Jun 28, 2015 7:16:21 GMT
Thanks awfully for bringing this magical book to our attention, Lord P! It doubtless says something appalling about my taste and discernment in literary matters, but I had a great time with Oscar's short sharp shockers (When The Hangman Beckons beckons). I think critic Allen J. Hubin has it spot on;
"The Dance Of Death collects ten stories plus When the Hangman Beckons, a novella. Low-level thriller pulp fiction, without the grim elegance of the grand guignol, or the exuberance of the weird menace pulps." - Crime Fiction II: A Comprehensive Bibliography, 1749-1990, (Garland, 1994).
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Post by dem bones on Jul 7, 2015 9:59:11 GMT
When The Hangman Beckons: Phineas Hermann, ex-Chicago gangster turned respectable London theatre proprietor, maintains profitable sidelines in smuggling, racketeering and blackmail, and young Nick Foster of The Sentinel is out to expose him for the "Dirty yankee crook" he knows him to be. Nick is going steady with June Harvey, a starry-eyed chorus girl with her eye on a main chance that will never come. The name performer at Hermann's Mirror Theatre is Ivy Damer, actress of no discernible talent but popular with the punters. Hermann is getting tired of her hanging around him all the time, and seeks a younger model. Who's that broad hanging around with Foster? "You ought to know, you pay her," sneers poison Ivy. "Back row of the chorus at the Mirror. Probably comes from Bethnal Green. No doubt drops her aitches but manages to pick up a living for all that." Hermann has "discovered" his next "star."
Nick makes no bones of his disgust that any fiancée of his would even consider working for a creep like Phineas Hermann, only to regret his outburst when June storms off in a huff, the pig-headed little devil! He confides in Detective-Inspector Fraser, who is keen as he that something be done about this slippery customer!
Cut to 'The Hermitage,' a remote house on the marshes suitable for criminal activities. Hermann plots with his smuggler pals, to eradicate the nuisance Nick Foster once and for all. Jan Peterson, the stage Scandinavian sailor man, is reluctant, 'The Irishman' positively mutinous, so Hermann shoots him in the arm to show who's boss.
Poison Ivy has become tiresome. Jealous of June's promotion in the ranks, she ill-advisedly reminds Hermann that she knows everything about his various rackets and, if he knows what's good for him, he'll keep her on the payroll for life.
June walks in at an opportune moment to find her employer stood over a corpse. Tearing off his kindly old uncle mask he warns her to keep her mouth shut, or he'll rat on her as his accessory to Ivy's murder. When June refuses and insists she'll tell the police everything, Hermann binds, gags and drugs her, providing an ideal cliff-hanger for us to end on!
Will Mr. Williams prove capable of maintaining the suspense over the remaining sixty or so pages?
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Post by mcannon on Jul 7, 2015 22:57:41 GMT
My copy of "The Dance of Death" arrived on Monday, but I've yet to start reading. Do I dare to plunge in before Dem's report concludes? Perhaps I'd better , before the new "Terror Tales" arrives any day, and distracts me......
Mark
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Post by dem bones on Jul 8, 2015 18:03:10 GMT
I'll be very interested to hear what you make of it, Mark. Don't be put off by the relative length of the novella - it's one of his best. The opening fifty or so pages were just Williams warming up! From here on it's thrills and spills all the way to a satisfying, squelchy climax. Or, as Detective-Inspector Fraser might put it: "Hickory dickory dock, now our mouse runs up the clock!" {Spoiler}With Ivy's corpse secured in a trunk ready for disposal at sea, Hermann bribes Mrs. Peterson to keep the recalcitrant chorus girl under lock and key at her derelict mill on the marshes. The sailor's wife is formidable enough adversary, but to make matters worse, her ferocious dog is alert to June's every movement. Is there no hope? If only she'd listened to sensible Nick instead of flouncing out on him!
Once back at the Mirror Theatre, Hermann plays the public-spirited citizen and reports Ivy's mysterious disappearance to DI Fraser, just as Nick is having kittens over June's absence from the theatre. Hermann gives them carte blanche to search the premises, confident that he's removed every minute trace of Ivy ever having contaminated his private room. That stupid cop and his nosey parker lackey won't dig up a damn thing!
The Detective Inspector digs up Ivy's handbag from behind a chair, and its positively bursting with lovely, potentially incriminating evidence of foul play!
"I dare say you'll find plenty of things women have dropped in this place." Hermann spoke with a sneer.
Ouch! It costs the pining press hack all of his will-power to resist a violent reaction to that nasty insinuation!
No sooner has Nick arrived home from the day's adventures than he receives two visitors. Hermann's henchmen take him for a late night drive at gunpoint, intent on abandoning him on the treacherous marshes. An exciting struggle! Nick gets free of the burning car only to find himself stranded in bogland! How can he possibly cross this death-trap in the dark?
Phineas Hermann realises there's only one thing for it. He didn't want it this way, but the girl he'd planned to fast track to the top has proved too much of a nuisance, and she, too, will have to be killed just as soon as he's collected her from the old battle-axe! But Peterson's better half, having listened to June's "ravings" about Hermann's murder of Ivy, realises that her silence is worth far more than a cheapskate £40, and her killer dog agrees. Let's hope for Mrs. P.'s sake the homicidal madman is in a bartering mood! And for goodness sake, woman, don't leave that lethal iron poker's unattended ....
Without even a pretence of covering his tracks - it didn't do him any good last time - Hermann leaves the crone's bloodied corpse where it fell, dumps a comatose June in the car and drives to the Hermitage. Nick, having somehow negotiated the sucking pits of the marsh, breaks into the first gloomy, remote premises he comes to and makes himself a sandwich. Fortified, he takes a look around. I wonder what's in the trunk?
Imagine Nick's surprise when a car pulls up outside!
Imagine June's joy on seeing his handsome face in her hour of need!
Imagine Hermann's terror when the Bloodhound of the Baskerville's comes belting across the bogs bent on vengeance!
Oscar Williams. To read him is to love him. |
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