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Post by marksamuels on Mar 29, 2009 23:41:03 GMT
Lobo, my opinion on all of the Richard Staines books is that they are depraved and the most disgustingly repulsive filth I have ever seen. They should not be read by anyone. Luckily they are exceedingly hard to obtain (most dealers deny their existence). Mark S. Got in touch with the British Library and they've never heard of the Author, books or publishing company. You're not pulling our legs here are you Mark, you naughty imp? That doesn't surprise me, Johnny. Those Staines books were cheap and cheerful; something he probably turned out himself. I only got hold of them via a great-aunt who picked them up at a boot sale in Crystal Palace. Mark S.
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Post by allthingshorror on Mar 30, 2009 8:41:03 GMT
I am intrigued beyond the moon... Mark, you probably own the crappiest and most rarest books on the planet. Did he ever give any mention as to where he lives on the bio bit? It would be amazing to try and find and interview the bugger!
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Post by lobolover on Mar 30, 2009 11:28:54 GMT
I dont think he would agree . Not after this litle discusion anyway.
And who exactly called him "the master of shudders" ?
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Post by marksamuels on Mar 30, 2009 12:21:09 GMT
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Post by allthingshorror on Mar 30, 2009 12:54:51 GMT
Oh my god. It's INSANE. Though I think you should re-produce the books on Scribd or Lulu.
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Post by lobolover on Mar 30, 2009 13:02:06 GMT
Have seen worse . Isnt exactly.....scarry, more like comedy, actualy . Racialy insensitive, nude comedy, but comedy nonetheless .
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Post by lobolover on Mar 30, 2009 13:12:34 GMT
DARK AND SICK SECRETS FROM THE MASTER OF SHUDDERS:
In this diabolical autobiography Richard Staines tells us the secrets of his success in horror with such 1970s paperback classics as Psycho Flasher, Whores Die Screaming, The Chopping Centre and Bloodbath for Ethel, and the true life tales behind his black magic non-fiction studies, My Wife was Satan’s Slut, and his British Horror Club Award winner Bestiality in Black Magic.
“Luckily it was a dark night. A bloody dark night by half. Humphrey Crotch stood under a streetlamp. He grinned sardonically as the young woman approached him. Mini-skirt and kinky boots. Blonde hair. She was asking for it. His nicotine stained fingers began to work feverishly at the buttons on the front of his stained and crumpled raincoat…” from Psycho Flasher
“The shopping centre was brand-new. The pride of Peckham High Street. Two levels of shops. Two escalators. One public toilet. It had a Tescos, a WH Smiths, it even had a Midland Bank branch. But right in the middle was Berkin’s Butcher Shop. And Berkin was insane...” from The Chopping Centre “Whatever you do … buy this book.” Time Out. “Disgusting. Sick. Horrible.” The Sunday People. “Staines cannot be removed. He’s part of the fabric of British Horror.” Peckham Post.
Where do they get these people by the way ? Every terrible book has people claiming how wonderfull it is, just where the hell ......? Also, have found nothing on The Chopping centre or My Wife was Satan’s Slut , or Whores Die Screaming or Bloodbath for Ethel or Psycho Flasher (aparently such "paperback classics" that there is not one mention of them on the d**n internet! I didn't think such a thing was even possible!) so have tried Bestiality in Black Magic , seeing as it's a "British Horror Club Award winner", but neither have I found any mention of the book, but of no such thing as an "British Horror Club Award" or a "British Horror Club" ! Either it was a group of lads drinking Guiness in some shithole in whatever is the dump region of good ol' Albion, or Staines (if that is his real name!) made this all up as some sort of hoax ! Was any of this even copyrighted ? What was the publisher's name again ? And may I ask again why the word d-a-m-n is censored on this site ? We can talk about all sorts of gruesome stuff, and say words like tities , but we cant say a word as absoletely inofensive as d-a-m-n ? And to the cover, it just looks modified to me . The woman in the tv (computer) looks so much clearer then the entiere rest of the cover .
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Post by allthingshorror on Mar 30, 2009 14:19:24 GMT
I found this while searching through pages of Google Images.
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Post by marksamuels on Mar 30, 2009 17:40:49 GMT
Lobo I've not heard of this "British Horror Club" either. I think you're spot on when you say it's just a bunch of blokes in some pub. As for the modified photo, you're right about that too. It's obviously been added on. I think it's been lifted from this one by Staines: JUST WHEN YOU THOUGHT IT WAS SAFE TO GO BACK IN THE BOOKSHOP!!
THE MASTER OF SHUDDERS PRESENTS HIS MOST DIABOLICAL NOVEL YET!!!
Yes, he’s back… Richard Staines.
The most outrageous horror author of the 1970s. Banned in five countries. Arrested under the obscene publications act twice. They tried to wipe him out of the history of horror. But with this, his latest novel, Whores Die Screaming, Staines not only crosses the line…
HE RUBS THE LINE OUT.
Igor Drake is a gravedigger. He works at Nunhead Cemetery. But Drake has a secret. He’s got a thing for corpses. Lady corpses. When Drake puts them in the ground, they don’t always stay in the ground. Not if they’re pretty. But not all of them are young and pretty (or female). He’s fed up with having to wait for the next lovely dead body to come his way. He’s taking matters into his own hands. And that’s why:
WHORES DIE SCREAMING!!!
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Post by Johnlprobert on Mar 30, 2009 19:08:30 GMT
Mark this isn't you when you were 12 years old is it? I mean we all go through that phase. I wrote a story about a killer flasher tramp when I was 10 that got me into trouble at school. He killed young women by flashing at them and the girls died of fright. At the end the tramp meets his demise by seeing his nude reflection and dying of shock.
My form teacher was really upset. And I had to go and see the head teacher
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stephenbacon
Crab On The Rampage
www.stephenbacon.co.uk
Posts: 78
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Post by stephenbacon on Mar 30, 2009 20:06:44 GMT
When I was twelve years old my mother would often find Dick Staines in my bedroom. I remember her wrinkling her nose at the sight and rolling her eyes. (Sorry to lower the tone. I didn't think it was possible but I definitely managed it.)
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Post by carolinec on Mar 30, 2009 20:27:19 GMT
I wrote a story about a killer flasher tramp when I was 10 that got me into trouble at school. He killed young women by flashing at them and the girls died of fright. At the end the tramp meets his demise by seeing his nude reflection and dying of shock. My form teacher was really upset. And I had to go and see the head teacher I can't stop laughing now, at that revelation, Lord P! I do wish I'd been interviewing you and got that information from you during an interview! Mark - it's not April Fool's Day yet, you know. Not quite anyway!
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Post by lobolover on Mar 31, 2009 7:36:51 GMT
So, Mark , are you pulling our leg or not ?
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Post by marksamuels on Mar 31, 2009 23:26:10 GMT
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Post by pulphack on Apr 1, 2009 8:14:52 GMT
No Leyton Orient! (er, they didn't get the Leyton back til the 80's, and were still just Orient back then. Sorry to be a pedant.)
This is the best thing that's been on here for ages. I have this nasty feeling that Mark is going to start looking out the window and see Staines staring back at him from across the road. with his library stamper set on kill...
You really HAVE to 'edit' some Staines republishing now, old son...
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