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Post by caminoreal on Nov 19, 2008 21:51:29 GMT
This, as I'm sure all of you know, is the novelization of the Norman Warren directed film starring Stephanie Beecham and Judy Geeson. The title page says that it's based on a screenplay by Nick and Gloria Maley. If the novel is true to the script that Miller was using then a heck of a lot was changed before Warren filmed it.
The story is simple. Twelve people land on an alien planet looking for signs of an expedition which went missing many years before. They find a dormant alien life form and trouble. You can probably guess some of the rest.
The book and movie are, of course, Alien knock-offs and both are proud to revel in gore and violence. The book, however, is extremely nasty with oodles of melting flesh, bone crunching and messy alien sex. There also a couple of erotic scenes, one straight and one lesbian, (as usual man-on-man action is eschewed) and the story is told at a breathless pace.
The trouble is, it's not very well written. Miller uses first names only for his characters which can make it terribly confusing when trying to remember if its Karl or Mitch who's the doctor or the archaeologist. They do tend to get killed quickly so numbers soon diminish.
What really spoils the novel is Millers tin ear for dialogue and his inability to make us feel anything for the poor unfortunates he's writing about.
It is gory though, and there's one scene near the end which will live in my memory for a very long time.
I must get the book signed by Norman when I next see him in Manchester...
"
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Post by dem bones on Aug 28, 2019 6:08:06 GMT
Larry Miller - Inseminoid (NEL, 1981) Blurb: Based on the screenplay by Nick and Gloria Maley
Man had landed on the planet before: a fruitless, expensive fiasco of an expedition. Then, fifty years later a smaller but disastrous landing had left two men horribly and unexplainedly dead.
Now a third attempt had so far found nothing but a silent, lifeless world. Until they broke open the underground chamber and discovered in the most vile way imaginable that the planet was not quite dead. That a sleeping life form had been waiting for millennia, needing only a chance to breed before escaping to spread like a foul, devouring disease into the lifeblood of the universe.
And to breed it needed the bodies of those who had disturbed it. "At their feet was indeed men's clothing. And inside was a skeleton. It lay in a foul-smelling pool of burgundy-coloured muck. The commander bent on one knee and lifted some of the substance onto his gloved finger. It was thick and sticky ..." Almost stepping in a colleague is too much for the commander who halts the expedition, returns to Zeno with the crew. If, some day further down the line, mission control decide to send another party of saps to explore this godforsaken planet, then good luck to them. Fifty years later, Holly McKay and crew touch down on the same planet. The man-made complex, built a century and a half back to house crew, has been neglected for so long that only a small section is still in use, the vast bulk sealed off. Dean and Ricky, the advance archaeological team, check the surface for potential excavation sites. The Veteran Dean strikes lucky - or so he thinks - in chancing upon a cavern, it's walls lined with hieroglyphics. The pair are celebrating his discovery when a rock blast wipes them off their feet. Ricky is thrown clear but Dean's head is inexplicably squashed to sticky pulp as though it's been steam-rolled (the rookie of the team never saw the strange black crystal that exploded in his supervisor's face). Incredibly, Dean is still alive. Holly gives the order for him to be frozen until they can get him to a medical centre. Ricky is fine ... except for an inexplicable red blotch on his arm. Kate and Gail (no idea) examine the scene of the explosion to discover hundreds of stone tablets, neatly stacked far as the eye can see, each measuring 4ft square and covered in hieroglyphics. Mitch demands these be transferred to the complex by hand. A minor tremor sees another rock fall, this one unearthing the glass coffin of an ancient being! The trouble is, it's not very well written. Miller uses first names only for his characters which can make it terribly confusing when trying to remember if its Karl or Mitch who's the doctor or the archaeologist. This is so true. By way of "characterisation," we're informed that Sandy, Karl's assistant, is an attractive, non-dumb blonde: Mitch is black: Karl likes fair-skinned girls with big tits: and Ricky, 21, is only in it because he got fed up screwing the same gal (thanks to "mate rotation" he is now "getting it regularly and if he was paired up with a dead one, all he had to do was wait till the rotation wheel turned a notch"). That's about our lot. Not that it matters: we lose them so fast ain't no point in getting too close. [TBC .....]
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Post by Johnlprobert on Aug 28, 2019 22:31:22 GMT
Ah the novelisation of INSEMINOID! A milestone of pulp paperback delight for me. I read it at a very impressionable age - one which cared not a jot for characterisation, dialogue or description but just wanted lots of blood and filth. I think I read it in a single sitting & can still remember how open-mouthed I found myself at some of the stuff in it. Just last year I tried to read it again and managed just a couple of pages before I found myself unable to go on. The book hadn't changed but I had, thank goodness. Who was Larry Miller and where did he come up with some of the perverted scenes to be found in here? Good luck with this one, Dem - I think you'll find plenty to...er...keep you awake.
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Post by bluetomb on Aug 29, 2019 9:50:30 GMT
At the risk of being terribly perverse, I do like the sound of those hieroglyphic tablets. Much as I recall the film fondly, if I recall right it does drop the ball on the sci fi side of things.
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Post by dem bones on Sept 12, 2019 17:33:19 GMT
"What have you done with his brain?" "He had no brain"Ricky's traumatic 24 hours takes a turn for the even worse when infected arm melts to the bone, his hair falls out, and (as we later learn during the autopsy) much else with it. What's left of the poor sod attacks Prof. Karl. Sandy saves the day by delivering a smart karate chop to the madman's bollocks, putting him to painful flight, out of the complex and onto the planets surface, shedding bulky spacesuit as he goes. The fool - he'll not last ten minutes before the cold and (lack of) atmosphere finish him! Except he does. The same cannot be said for Gail, whose leg is trapped in the door. The archaeologist faces a terrible, protracted death by creeping frostbite until she blows her foot off with a laser gun. That-which-was-Ricky now heads for the cavern where Kate is busy photographing scaly the alien's lair ... Poor Kate has had a terrible day of it: losing her best friend, shooting a hook through a colleague's mushy skull (self defence). Unable to sleep, she visits the Commander's chamber for a heart to heart. Holly consoles her AS ONLY ANOTHER WOMAN CAN. "Somehow her shirt had fallen open and a round bare breast rested comfortably against Kate's." Stroke of luck! Cut to an adjoining chamber where Mitch is inserting his "thick member" inside a happy Barbra, but that's not nearly as interesting as above and Mr. Miller swiftly moves to the autopsy table where Karl and Sandy are dissecting the Alien .... Ah the novelisation of INSEMINOID! A milestone of pulp paperback delight for me. I read it at a very impressionable age - one which cared not a jot for characterisation, dialogue or description but just wanted lots of blood and filth. I think I read it in a single sitting & can still remember how open-mouthed I found myself at some of the stuff in it. Just last year I tried to read it again and managed just a couple of pages before I found myself unable to go on. The book hadn't changed but I had, thank goodness. Who was Larry Miller and where did he come up with some of the perverted scenes to be found in here? Good luck with this one, Dem - I think you'll find plenty to...er...keep you awake. Lovely to hear from you, y' worship! If our Larry Miller is the same Larry Miller wrote vampire novel Blood Born: The First Book of Lost Souls (The Hollis Media Group, 2010), then he is: " ...a noted crime reporter for the historic Philadelphia Tribune newspaper. His literary voice is highly respected in every arena. He's a devoted husband, father, and actively engaged citizen on juvenile related issues, and volunteers with numerous organizations to influence change." Of course, they may be two entirely different entities. Can only agree that Inseminoid is a bit terrible. Author's style is so linear as to make GNS seem like Mervyn Peake. Without the BAD SEX scenes it would be impossible to distinguish one stick figure from the next.
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Post by helrunar on Sept 12, 2019 17:46:02 GMT
It makes Guy N. Smith seem like Mervyn Peake... Gawd, Dem. Sometimes I wonder how I would get through the week without these DELIGHTFUL quips and apercus from your mordant pen! I really no not think I could do it at all.
CHEERS, Hel
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Post by dem bones on Sept 14, 2019 5:56:51 GMT
Back with the action.
The lobster-clawed alien awakens mid-autopsy, spewing disgusting yellow ichor across the lab. Karl placates it with a traditional British fry-up, followed by steak and a frozen chicken.
Sally insists Karl retire to bed while she stay behind to tidy the lab. It is so peaceful she forgets the presence of the scaly entity. All is well until she upsets a bottle, splashing liquid all down her dress. Sally's impromptu striptease arouses the alien, who breaks free of the leather straps and ravishes her with it's twin dicks (!). Charging out into the corridor, it next attacks Kate, clawing open her belly and slashing both eyelids. Colleagues throw up at the sight of the spilled intestine and ravaged face. The worst of it is, the victim is - technically - still alive. Mitch shoves what he can back up inside and sews the split together.
With half the crew either dead or in cold storage, Mark - who is seething that a hysterical woman was promoted above him - insists they should abandon the project and return to base. Holly refuses to consider such a defeatist strategy. 24 hours on from her rape, Sandy is two months pregnant and sweary with it. The culprit, presumed dead, revives in the deep freeze, tears Kate limb from limb and devours her lower half. The crew, helpless to intervene, witness the cannibal feat via the monitors. Tonight's BAD SEX break (featuring a femdom turn from Sharon versus wannabe Commander Mark) can't come soon enough
Does much/ any of this lunacy bear passing resemblance to the film, or has Larry M. made it all up himself?
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Post by Johnlprobert on Sept 14, 2019 18:55:20 GMT
Does much/ any of this lunacy bear passing resemblance to the film, or has Larry M. made it all up himself? Very little resemblance, sadly (or should the older maturer me be saying 'Thank Heavens'? . I was greatly disappointed with the film when I eventually caught up with it, especially as it was originally released in the UK by sleazemeisters Brent Walker (Satan's Slave, The Stud, etc).
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Post by bluetomb on Sept 15, 2019 10:40:56 GMT
From memory the film is largely shoddily executed sci fi preamble and then just pregnant Judy Geeson screaming and killing everyone. This seems a much more developed and thoughtful affair. Not that I didn't enjoy the film. As Britsploitation tends, has a nicely... odd vibe.
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Post by andydecker on Sept 15, 2019 15:33:02 GMT
I watched the movie for the first time a few days ago and then began the novel. This is truly badly written. Clumsy POV hopping, laughably characterisation. I always complained how mindnumbingly stupid the protagonists of the movie Prometheus or Alien: Covenant behaved, but this guys could give them a run for their money. On the other hand, some truly amusing gore and badly written sex scenes which the movie is missing. Which is a plus, but it doesn't make the novel any better at the end.
Apparantly Norman J. Warren hadn't the money for things like lasers or running around Aliens, so he ditched them from the script.
the movie was more entertaining than I expected. Judy Geeson acted - or screamed - her heart out, and there were some nice twists and surprisingly gory scenes.
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Post by helrunar on Sept 15, 2019 16:54:20 GMT
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Post by bluetomb on Sept 15, 2019 21:32:19 GMT
I see Warren more as an English version of a Euro-hack. Satan's Slave is his sex 'n Satanism film, Terror his shot at Suspiria style (he apparently was inspired by Argento's set pieces foremost approach), Inseminoid would work in a triple bill with Contamination and Alien 2 : On Earth.
I'm not going to pass up an opportunity to talk Milligan though. He may have had terrible literal hack distributors who re-edited his films, and not much raw talent to begin with (though I do think he showed a certain slew-whiff flair for costuming and dialogue at times), and been a sad, vicious man, and some of his films may be lost forever and quite a few of the ones we have aren't that enjoyable, but there are surely few more singular visions in schlock cinema. Hopefully one day Jimmy McDonoughs tome on him The Ghastly One : The Sex Gore Netherworld of Filmmaker Andy Milligan will get reprinted as it sounds ace.
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Post by helrunar on Sept 15, 2019 22:40:54 GMT
A friend loaned me the McDonough biography of Milligan many years ago, and it was very entertaining with some fascinating notes on facets of Greenwich Village counter-culture that are little known or documented elsewhere. I have to confess to having loved Torture Dungeon (filmed by Milligan circa 1970) when I finally broke down and spent money on the disc after becoming obsessed with a hilarious youtube clip from it last year.
I think the British vampire film was The Body Beneath, and my friend did loan me his copy of that. My memory of it was amazement that somebody so technically inept at film got anything done at all. In that film (I may have the title wrong), there was this vampire banquet sequence that involved people wearing these extraordinary costumes fashioned out of junkyard, dumpster-retrieved remnants and fragments, but the camerawork and editing was so poor that it was impossible to appreciate the bizarrerie of what was happening and on display during the scenes. That actually made me a little sad.
H.
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