Pan Horror #11 - Wedding Cake

[dem bones]

The 11th Pan Book Of Horror Stories ed. Herbert Van Thal (Pan, 1970)

David Case - The Cell
Bryan Lewis - A Question of Fear
Harry Turner - Hell’s Bells
Bryan Lewis - The Lift
Gerald Atkins - The Midnight Lover
Barry Martin - Case of Insanity
Robert Duncan - The Market-Gardeners
James Wade - Snow in the City
Stephen Grendon - Mrs Manifold
Barbara Benzinger - Dear Jeffy
Simon Jay - Spider Woman
Charles Birkin - Au Clair De Lune
Christine Trollope - Oysters
Nigel Kneale - Minuke
Barry Martin - The Easiest Thing in the World
Dulcie Gray - The Babysitter
Brian Middleton - Hand in Hand
Norman P Kaufman - Getting Rid
David A. Riley - The Lurkers in the Abyss
Martin Waddell - Fried Man
Gerald Atkins - The Scientist

As the covers go, I think this and the original illustrated #4 are probably my favourites. Like the books themselves, I wasn't as fond of them from around 15 onward, give or take the odd exception.

David Case - The Cell: For one night every month the narrator locks himself away in the padded cell he's had built in the basement. He's a werewolf or at least, that's what he's desperately trying to convince anybody who finds his diary and, most of all, himself. How could such an upstanding citizen inspire banner headlines of the Sex Fiend Murder or Mangled Corpse In Lovers Lane variety? It's preposterous! He even considers suing for libel ...

Helen, the long-suffering wife he half patronises to death, entertains his bizarre behaviour out of fear but when she realises that he's most likely the man the police are after, her curiosity gets the better of her: what happens to him when he's in the cell ....?

If you can imagine The Beast In The Cellar as told from the point of view of the pathetic "monster" with maybe a dash of Carry on Psycho thrown in, then you've maybe some idea of what Case's minor masterpiece of gallows humour is like. That it works has everything to do with Case's deadpan delivery and his economic prose really suits - it makes a sixty pager read like twenty. As with Minuke, The Lurkers At The Abyss, Mrs. Manifold and probably even Case Of Insanity, it's deserving of better company than it's made to keep in this collection.

Bryan Lewis - A Question Of Fear. The indomitable Major Rupert Denny accepts a stranger's wager that he won't be able to remain the night at a secluded house without experiencing sheer terror. Turns out that the stranger is an electronics genius, and he's rigged the place to ensure the Major endures his full share of psychological shocks. A tape-recorded message reveals his motive.
A good old-fashioned horror that wouldn't have been out of place in the Not At Nights.

David A. Riley - The Lurker's In The Abyss. Lovecraftian horror that dispenses with all the usual props - obscure tomes, references to Cthulhu, Miskatonic University, etc. - in favour of pitting the hero, downtrodden Ian Redfern, versus a bunch of high street thugs who are not what they seem. Riley scores with his recognisable scenario - bunch of hooligans hanging around intent on beating up a passer-by for no reason other than because they can, and his squirming monstrosities are good fun.

Simon Jay - Spiderwoman: Maude Roxby is laid to rest in "the sodden little churchyard on the edge of the Yorkshire Moors". The few mourners are not for her but her saintly husband Tom who survives her. Buxom Rose Hardcastle decides that Tom is the man for her and makes a successful play for him. But Maude refuses to take this lying down and takes the form of a monstrous arachnid. The dead witch pulps her rival, then turns her attentions to Tom, who poisoned her.

Barry Martin - Case Of Insanity: The narrator's wife, Clara, is always on at him for not providing her with a child when Margaret and Tom down the road already have two! "You bloody ponce! ... If you can't do right by me why don't you go out and get yourself some pretty, sweet queer to have your sex with? It would suit you down to the ground". Doesn't she know she's in a Barry Martin story? Narrator duly hacks her to pieces and stuffs her in a suitcase before an inopportune car accident settles his hash. Probably the best of Martin's Psycho rip-offs.

Gerald Atkins - The Midnight Lover: First person account of an insatiable mortuary groupie. I can't make this out: he's obviously not doing it for sex ("I have never actually had intercourse with any of them ...") so it isn't the necrophilia story I wrongly remembered it as, and what's this stuff about people trying to stop him using "primitive means"? A stake perhaps?

Harry Turner - Hell's Bells: As FM mentioned, this one is festooned with pop culture references. British Rail, Tesco's, W. H. Smiths, Readers Digest, a camp Devil who says "Ducky" etc. Quite sobering to learn that as early as 1970 Tony Blackburn was already a standing joke. Personally, I always had Hell down as attending a Christopher Lee signing in a Dracula AD 1972 shirt while a Chas N' Dave album loops for all eternity ....

Bryan Lewis - The Lift: Leonard Norton has some kind of hallucination in which he's visited by the ghost of his dead son, a suicide. Norton ruined the boy's life and now he wants his pound of flesh - in short, he wants the old man to cut off his own hand at the wrist.

Brian Middleton - Hand In Hand: A huge warehouseman, friendless because his colleagues find his girth too imposing, is picked up by a pretty "filmstar-ish" girl in a coffee shop after his usual Saturday night alone at the cinema. As they walk in silence through the park, he takes her hand and gives it a friendly squeeze ... This one doesn't really warrant a spoiler warning because you've guessed what will happen long before it does.

Martin Waddell - Fried Man: More slapstick horror as old Bunting has the inspired misfortune to fall in the deep fryer during a ciggie raid on the Valentia Supper Saloon. The corpses pile up as the gang try to dispose of the body. Everybody frets about exposure in The News Of The World.

Charles Birkin - Au Clair De Lune: Grisly poem in which Thelma tries to blackmail Rodney over their affair and is eaten by rats for her sins. Eventually she's reduced to a fungus-ridden compost heap which the hero henceforth utilizes whenever he wishes to be rid of a troublesome woman.

[dem bones]

Norman P. Kaufman - Getting Rid: Another husband murders his wife. This one talks us through the difficulties of disposing of the body. Living by the coast has its advantages and he lugs her deep down inside a cave. If you've read Hester Holland Gaskell's High Tide you'll know what's coming. Actually, even if you haven't ... etc.

Dulce Grey - The Babysitter: Regents Park. Attractive Alice and big fat Marlene operate a scam whereby they burgle the houses of those for whom they're babysitting. But now Alice is tiring of her accomplice and has decided to quit. Marlene doesn't take the rejection kindly which is bad news for the Primrose's infant.
Charles Birkin gave us the little girl whose head is run over by a steamroller. Dulce Grey has arguably gone him one sicker.

Barry Martin - The Easiest Thing In The World: .... is murdering something smaller than you, and Baz has a plentiful supply of household pets to prove it. There must be a cheaper method of doing away with a goldfish than the one he adopts.

Robert Duncan - The Market Gardeners: Abraham and his wife Elizabeth are thirty-six, hard working, relatively content but childless. Two armed robbers burst in and one of them rapes her. Nine month's later she gives birth. They keep the child. And that's it.
Probably the closest thing to reality contained in the book but if people don't already realise that rape is wrong and a dreadful thing, it's unlikely The Market Gardeners will change that. It reads as though Duncan had set everything in place then forgot to add the rest of the story.

James Wade - Snow In The City: A Ripper-type goes in for some creative flower arrangement on the corpse of his bag-lady victim. I doubt there was a duller pair of stories in the first ten Pan books.

Gerald Atkins - The Scientist: Robert Duncan has reminded us that rape is abominable. Atkins points out that the Atom Bomb may not be entirely beneficial to the long-term welfare of the planet.

Christine Trollope - Oysters: While Julian is scoffing down the delicious treat Monique has prepared for him, she relates the improbable story of the little girl who swallowed an eye when left alone with her gran's body. He can't finish his last oyster.

[Johnlprobert]

Oh yes not a bad little volume at all this one. I can certainly remember quite a few of the stories from when I first read them all those years ago. David Riley's story scared me silly when I first read it, FRIED MAN made me laugh out loud, and I always thought HELL'S BELLS was R Chetwynd-Hayes under a pseudonym until I read further Turner comedy stuff like 'Schwartz'. The Market Gardeners is indeed one of the most pointless stories I have ever read, and quite a few of the others here make you feel as if you're wasting your time. But the cover's lovely. I had a story in 'The Horror Express' issue 5 called 'Best Man's Speech' that was graced with a lovely full page illo reminiscent of this particular picture

[Scott Wood]

There's an awful lot of violence against women in this one. It's hard going in places.

I enjoyed the bizarre house of "A Question of Fear" but the ending was a bit of let-down, "The Lurkers in the Abyss" is one of the few supernatural stories and I enjoyed that but I think, all-in-all, this is my least favorite one I've read so far.

If does has my most favorite cover though. If I wasn't married already I'd have used the image for our wedding invites.

[benedictjjones]

just started reading the 1st humdrumming book of horror (with its lovely pan inspired cover) and the editor discusses this pan volume and credits it with inspiring his love of horror.

[Scott Wood]

Really? I think, maybe, i prefer supernatural horror or a bit of over-the-top gothic horror so I wasn't so into this one.

Takes all sorts though.

[erebus]

Easiest thing in the world always stuck with me. Animal violence always gets to me .
Jog my memory... Does he use paint on the dog or cat ?? I know the fishy gets the acid.

[Nightmare]

I finished reading Pan Horror 11 and it was worth the two week wait.

1. THE CELL - Decent plot, but it was a little difficult to tell what was going on at times.
I'm actually not a fan of really long stories since I tend to be impatient!
So was the main character a werewolf or no?

2. A QUESTION OF FEAR - I saw the Night Gallery episode first and enjoyed both versions. I love the ending in
particular.

3. HELL'S BELLS - Not my idea of Hell, but good story.

4. THE LIFT - I enjoyed the story and it reminded me of Cutting Cards from Tales from the Crypt.

5. THE MIDNIGHT LOVER - Good title, but the story didn't appeal to me.

6. CASE OF INSANITY - Decent story.

7. THE MARKET-GARDENERS - The story made me a little uncomfortable.

8. SNOW IN THE CITY - The ending was decent.

9. MRS. MANIFOLD - The story read a bit like a mystery and decent ending.

10. DEAR JEFFY - The present tense is a little jarring, but I'll let that slide since the story is written
via letters to Jeffy. *Spoiler question* Pammy poisoned her father, correct?

11. SPIDER WOMAN - I liked the spider description and the story reminded me of a House of Mystery comic.

12. AU CLAIR DE LUNE - I didn't care for the poem that much.

13. OYSTERS - I enjoyed the story quite a bit.

14. MINUKE - Not a very interesting story to me, but I did like the ending.

15. THE EASIEST THING IN THE WORLD - I know animal cruelty isn't supposed to be funny, but I found the story
humorous even though I am a bit squeamish about cat deaths. To answer erebus's questions, the dog gets
the paint and the kitty gets the fire.

16. THE BABYSITTER - The main reason why I purchased this book. Was the ending sick? A little, but I can think
of worse things Marlene could do to the infant. MUCH worse!

17. HAND IN HAND - I liked the character descriptions, but the ending was a bit predictable.

18. GETTING RID - So-so story.

19. THE LURKERS IN THE ABYSS - I had trouble with keeping my eyes on the pages, but I liked the ending.

20. FRIED MAN - Very jarring present tense and dialogue. I'm assuming chips in this story = fries and not
potato chips!

21. THE SCIENTIST - Short and sweet story. Is what the scientist created a monster? That would depend on which person
you ask.

[dem bones]

Mar 20, 2013 12:47:07 GMT Nightmare said:

1. THE CELL - Decent plot, but it was a little difficult to tell what was going on at times.
I'm actually not a fan of really long stories since I tend to be impatient!
So was the main character a werewolf or no?

The way I remember it, he certainly thinks he is, but it's left to the reader to decide the extent of his delusions.

Mar 20, 2013 12:47:07 GMT Nightmare said:

19. THE LURKERS IN THE ABYSS - I had trouble with keeping my eyes on the pages, but I liked the ending.

Mr. Riley has been a loyal reader & contributor to Vault for a number of years, so I'm sure he'll be thrilled you got something from his story.

Been quite a while since I last read #11 so had to read back through this thread, but I remember hating The Market Gardeners as much as i loved A Question Of Fear and The Babysitter. Sir Charles' poem is amusing but no substitute for one of his stories. 'Barry Martin' specialised in these Psycho short-shorts, i'm quite fond of them because they read like they were knocked out by one of the London Management crew at the last minute to achieve the page count.

[Nightmare]

I actually saw A Question of Fear episode yesterday and wanted to read the story again. Again, I just love the ending!

Are there stories like The Babysitter?

[valdemar]

Feb 7, 2009 20:56:14 GMT erebus said:

Easiest thing in the world always stuck with me. Animal violence always gets to me .
Jog my memory... Does he use paint on the dog or cat ?? I know the fishy gets the acid.

Just read this after finding book in loft. I detest animal cruelty, but this is rather 'Monty Python' in it's build-up.:
1] Goldfish gets an acid bath:
2] Budgie gets put through a mincer [for supermarket own-brand mince, perhaps?]:
3] Cat gets put in fire :
4] Dog gets stomach full of blue paint [distemper?]
5] Wife presumably gets what's coming to her.

I was always disturbed by this volume's 'The Babysitter'. Utterly horrific, none more so, because sadly, it HAS happened, and what's even worse, it's not uncommon. Who would have thought that that nice Dulcie Grey, married to that nice Michael Dennison, could write such a horrid tale?

[erebus]

Just want to throw up a few thoughts on this volumes stories.
The Cell. More like a novella but a great story and perhaps my favourite of his. Far more superior than The Hunter . Some say overlong but thats nonsense as it races by and is never dull.
A Question of Fear. Is it me or does this remind anyone of House on Haunted hill ?
Spiderwoman. No its not Peter Parkers old missus. But reading this I couldn't help being drawn to the similarites to the Scarecrow story in Volume 9.
Case of Insanity. I loved the Tales form the Unexpected style ending. And so perhaps did American writer Edward Lee who did the same kind of payoff in one of his novellas ( in Mangled Meat I think )
The Babysitter. You can chuck gore and torture at me, but this by far is one of the most shocking and brutal pieces of fiction you could read. So cold and callous. And thats why I liked it.
Easiest Thing in the World. If I was drunk in a pub and my head was all swirly from the booze and some mate of mine asked to think of the first pan story that comes into your head, it would be this. Probably because as a young kid this was the first Pan I had and this story stuck a chord. Plus animal violence is the most heinous of all crimes to me.
Market Gardeners. Ok so this got published. How on earth why. I've just found an old shopping list for Asda in the back pocket of my jeans, reckon I could have got that in a Pan ?. The Scientist is another of those stories too that are not worthy of the shirt.
Snow in the City. Now haven't we had this very same story in an earlier volume. Bloke follows woman an opens her up ? I know this is the basic norm in a Pan but this one is real close to another. I cannot think which though. Probably due to the fact I've been at the fliks with pals to see Godzilla. And then spent the rest of the day in the pub. Heads a bit swayed . Oh and the film was a load of Twaddle for those interested.

A so so Pan this. The most popular volume along with number 9 in my area as a lad. It was like everyone had one in their homes. And there was an abundance of them on book stalls and second hand shops. But strangely this volume always was beaten up and bashed. And I'm yet to stumble across a good clean version of it.

[charliegrenville]

Mar 20, 2013 12:47:07 GMT Nightmare said:

I finished reading Pan Horror 11 and it was worth the two week wait.

1. THE CELL - Decent plot, but it was a little difficult to tell what was going on at times.
I'm actually not a fan of really long stories since I tend to be impatient!
So was the main character a werewolf or no?

2. A QUESTION OF FEAR - I saw the Night Gallery episode first and enjoyed both versions. I love the ending in
particular.

3. HELL'S BELLS - Not my idea of Hell, but good story.

4. THE LIFT - I enjoyed the story and it reminded me of Cutting Cards from Tales from the Crypt.

5. THE MIDNIGHT LOVER - Good title, but the story didn't appeal to me.

6. CASE OF INSANITY - Decent story.

7. THE MARKET-GARDENERS - The story made me a little uncomfortable.

8. SNOW IN THE CITY - The ending was decent.

9. MRS. MANIFOLD - The story read a bit like a mystery and decent ending.

10. DEAR JEFFY - The present tense is a little jarring, but I'll let that slide since the story is written
via letters to Jeffy. *Spoiler question* Pammy poisoned her father, correct?

11. SPIDER WOMAN - I liked the spider description and the story reminded me of a House of Mystery comic.

12. AU CLAIR DE LUNE - I didn't care for the poem that much.

13. OYSTERS - I enjoyed the story quite a bit.

14. MINUKE - Not a very interesting story to me, but I did like the ending.

15. THE EASIEST THING IN THE WORLD - I know animal cruelty isn't supposed to be funny, but I found the story
humorous even though I am a bit squeamish about cat deaths. To answer erebus's questions, the dog gets
the paint and the kitty gets the fire.

16. THE BABYSITTER - The main reason why I purchased this book. Was the ending sick? A little, but I can think
of worse things Marlene could do to the infant. MUCH worse!

17. HAND IN HAND - I liked the character descriptions, but the ending was a bit predictable.

18. GETTING RID - So-so story.

19. THE LURKERS IN THE ABYSS - I had trouble with keeping my eyes on the pages, but I liked the ending.

20. FRIED MAN - Very jarring present tense and dialogue. I'm assuming chips in this story = fries and not
potato chips!

21. THE SCIENTIST - Short and sweet story. Is what the scientist created a monster? That would depend on which person
you ask.

Just thought I'd add my own thoughts about these stories, one by one- seeing as I recently dug the book out and gave it a going over for the first time in aeons. Like the 9th, it features a whole host of, largely then new, writers all making their first indelible marks on the horror world, and is to be praised for its variety and diversity- but not all of the experiments work.



Nightmare Avatar

Mar 20, 2013 13:47:07 GMT 1 Nightmare said:



I finished reading Pan Horror 11 and it was worth the two week wait.



1. THE CELL - Decent plot, but it was a little difficult to tell what was going on at times.

I'm actually not a fan of really long stories since I tend to be impatient!

So was the main character a werewolf or no?



I have a feeling he may have been. Most of Case's stories, with the exception of NEIGHBOURS, seem to deal with that subject.



2. A QUESTION OF FEAR - I saw the Night Gallery episode first and enjoyed both versions. I love the ending in

particular.



I recently watched it, which has now made me want to read it again. Other than that, I can't remember it all that well...



3. HELL'S BELLS - Not my idea of Hell, but good story.



Hilarious. I seem to remember a similar premise in the late 80s in a play starring Omar Sharif and Susan Hamspshire, whereby it's discovered that Hell is being trapped in a room for all eternity with people you don't like. Turner's version here is funnier...



4. THE LIFT - I enjoyed the story and it reminded me of Cutting Cards from Tales from the Crypt.



Was this in any way influential on the Dutch film DIE LIFT?



5. THE MIDNIGHT LOVER - Good title, but the story didn't appeal to me.



Very silly story. Good for reading out when stoned at the end of parties- but, as someone else has quite rightly pointed out, if he doesn't make love to them, what DOES he do?



6. CASE OF INSANITY - Decent story.



The most subtle of all of Martin's daft-as-fuck slashers. Where is he now I wonder?



7. THE MARKET-GARDENERS - The story made me a little uncomfortable.



One of the most pointless tales in all 30 of the volumes. What exactly is it trying to say? Is this the same Robert Duncan that became an actor by the way? He would have been very young...



8. SNOW IN THE CITY - The ending was decent.



James Wade wrote some slices of great, paranoiac, urban, New York set, horror fiction, such as THE PURSUER. This isn't one of them...



9. MRS. MANIFOLD - The story read a bit like a mystery and decent ending.



A fair old tale. I do like horror stories with women's names in them, have done since childhood...so I'm biased.



10. DEAR JEFFY - The present tense is a little jarring, but I'll let that slide since the story is written

via letters to Jeffy. *Spoiler question* Pammy poisoned her father, correct?



The centrepiece of the book for me. Diary form- ala THE SPIDER, THE HORLA, MESHES OF DOOM etc- has always appealed to me, and this is a particularly chilling venture.



11. SPIDER WOMAN - I liked the spider description and the story reminded me of a House of Mystery comic.



Not one of the most memorable. Shall have to read it again.



12. AU CLAIR DE LUNE - I didn't care for the poem that much.



Like the other Pan poems MY DEAR HOW DEAD YOU LOOK, THE INSTANT DIVORCE and A RHYME- extremely daft.



13. OYSTERS - I enjoyed the story quite a bit.



Again, it escapes me...



14. MINUKE - Not a very interesting story to me, but I did like the ending.



You can't go wrong with my personal favourite screenwriter ever, Nigel Kneale. Someone should film this. Oi, Gatiss!! Over here!!



15. THE EASIEST THING IN THE WORLD - I know animal cruelty isn't supposed to be funny, but I found the story

humorous even though I am a bit squeamish about cat deaths. To answer erebus's questions, the dog gets

the paint and the kitty gets the fire.



As an animal lover (illegal in most states, tee hee etc), I found this one a bit distasteful. Not to say a bit daft- surely the easiest way to kill the goldfish would be to flush it down the bog? So you're working on false premises from the get-go. But that's our Bazza for ya.



16. THE BABYSITTER - The main reason why I purchased this book. Was the ending sick? A little, but I can think

of worse things Marlene could do to the infant. MUCH worse!



Again, the sick, twisted, warped genius of that sweet, prim lady known as Dulcie Gray. Michael Denison's dreams must have been interesting.



17. HAND IN HAND - I liked the character descriptions, but the ending was a bit predictable.



I love the pathos in this one, and the- er, well, squelchiness. Those who have read it will know what I'm on about...



18. GETTING RID - So-so story.



A well tried and tested premise, also used by TALES OF THE UNEXPECTED in the episode TURN OF THE TIDE starring Richard Baseheart. Seems to have also influenced the Morrissey song 'Lifeguard Sleeping, Girl Drowning'. Not one of Kaufman's best but full of his usual pithy humour.



19. THE LURKERS IN THE ABYSS - I had trouble with keeping my eyes on the pages, but I liked the ending.



Yes, it goes on a bit doesn't it? Like Virginia Woolf- too many adverbs and adjectives.



20. FRIED MAN - Very jarring present tense and dialogue. I'm assuming chips in this story = fries and not

potato chips!



You could always rely on Martin Waddell for the sickest, ickiest, most 'bodily' stories in the Pan canon- and this one's no different. Where DID he come up with those ideas?



21. THE SCIENTIST - Short and sweet story. Is what the scientist created a monster? That would depend on which person

you ask.



Like THE MIDNIGHT LOVER and the later PATENT NUMBER, a bit predictable. But funny...

[charliegrenville]

AHA, success at last!!! God, this computer is one piece of slow fucked up shit!!! TEN TRIES that took to post.



THIS will probably take three goes now.

[David A. Riley]

Jun 17, 2014 20:25:13 GMT charliegrenville said:

Mar 20, 2013 12:47:07 GMT Nightmare said:

I finished reading Pan Horror 11 and it was worth the two week wait.

19. THE LURKERS IN THE ABYSS - I had trouble with keeping my eyes on the pages, but I liked the ending.



Yes, it goes on a bit doesn't it? Like Virginia Woolf- too many adverbs and adjectives.

"too many adverbs and adjectives" - I couldn't agree more.